


Unsure and Alone

by Khorevis



Series: Through dark paths until light [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heavy Angst, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-02-13 13:57:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 60,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12985521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khorevis/pseuds/Khorevis
Summary: Heroes are not born. They are shaped by hardship and responsibility through time. The harder it is, the greater they become. They grow, or they break.Marinette has never been a self-confident person. And when this becomes unbearable, she breaks.Adrien has always been a kind person. But as he has to face his own troubles to help a friend, his past and present force him to abandon this facade and reveal the broken person he is.Tikki and Plagg loved to choose broken people to shape into heroes. But sometimes, even they are powerless.The decision is up only to the two former superheroes.





	1. Chapter 1

 

Cataclysm had failed. Lucky Charm had failed. They had very little time before the transformations wore off. It had been a hard Akuma, and they had made more mistakes than usual. Like using Cataclysm on the wrong pillar and wasting the one-charge flames launcher -a Lucky Charm that looked useful and great, for once- to defend themselves against a cold blue beam.

And the Akuma wasn't going to give up. As always.

«Give me your Miraculous!», she thundered, throwing an icing cold ray at them and missing of a few inches.

«Don't you ever get tired of asking?», Chat Noir teased her, rolling sideways to dodge another ray. «It's always the same request. Hawkmoth, you are _so_ boring».

«Chat, please focus on the item», said Ladybug, rolling her eyes. «The sooner we get it, the sooner we free her».

The black hero bit his lip and nodded, still cocky. «Sorry to have displeased you, my lady».

«Watch out!», she warned him, but it was useless as he ducked under the frost blue beam and smiled at her.

«Worrying _fur_ me, my lady?», he asked, teasingly. «I'm honoured».

She was about to punch him, but she took her own suggest and fixed her attention on the Akuma. She hated cold-involving Akumas, and the sooner she defeated this, the sooner she could get some sleep. Being a hero wasn't a very relaxing job.

And the next day she had school to attend.

«You get the ice pack, I distract her», proposed Chat, landing in front of her after another narrow escape.

«Try not to catch a cold», she snorted as he bolted away.

«I won't, you have _meow_ word», he merrily replied, as the Akuma grew angrier.

«My name's Freezer and I will take your Miraculous!», she snarled, however distracted as Chat hit her with his staff.

«Lady, this is your chance!», he shouted, making room for her. The Akuma didn't have time to stand up as Ladybug landed on top of her, ripping the ice pack from her forehead and breaking it.

A black moth flew out of it, trying to escape, but a yo-yo swing and a little magic later it became a pure white butterfly, that wandered away, harmless.

«W-What happened?», asked the woman -from who Ladybug had already backed up to let her stand-, confused and scared. «Last thing I remember, I was so angry because of that fall...».

«It's okay», reassured her Chat Noir, patting her on the shoulder. «You got akumized, but now it's okay. However, we need to go, as soon as possible, 'cause we _could_ need to rest».

«Oh my God, what did I do?», whispered the woman, horrified. «I'm so sorry, I...».

«It was Hawkmoth, not you», continued Ladybug, nervously searching for a place where to de-transform. «But we really have to go. Wait here for the police, they'll help you».

The woman nodded.

«Chat, let's go», she finished, swinging her yo-yo and landing on a rooftop.

«My lady, we won't be able to reach a safe place». Chat's voice was almost apologetic. «We have less than a minute».

«Then run faster», she urged him. «Maybe we...».

«Ladybug, stop». She really stopped, his voice serious for once.

«Chat, what's...».

«We can de-transform here. Just... turn and do not look», he said, already turning his back on her. «I won't, either. I promise. We won't have...». She turned as he was enveloped in a green light.

«...time», he finished, gloomy. «When our Kwami will be back in strength, we will transform again and get home».

She nodded. Her transformation wore off before she could call it off. _I really hope Chat won't look_ , she thought, embarrassed. Had he looked, he would have seen that the strong, confident Ladybug was no more than the shy and clumsy Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

«L-Ladybug?», his voice was shaking a little. «I... Well, this has been hard».

«It has».  _And it's my fault. I wasted Lucky Charm_ .

«One of the hardest», he continued. She really hoped he wouldn't look, because in that moment she wouldn't have been able to bear his disappointment.

«Y-Yeah», she stuttered, and she gasped in shock: Marinette stuttered, not Ladybug.  _But I am Marinette_ , she sadly reminded herself.  _I am not a superhero_ .

She would have liked to turn to see Chat in his civilian form. To see if she wasn't the only one to be ashamed of herself, but Chat trusted her.

_And I let him down with the Akuma_ . Her train of thoughts was interrupted by his voice.

«I... I'm sorry». His voice was filled with shame and self-blame. «I should have been more care...».

«No, it's not you, it's me». She knew she was near tears. Not for the first time, she wished to be just a normal girl. «I should have been careful, not you. You did your best».

«Ladybug, I...».

«No», she growled, her voice hardening. «Do not blame yourself for my mistakes. It's not fair».

«It's not fair for you to keep the fault all for yourself, either», he replied, his humorous tone somehow stiffened. «The important thing is that we made it».

«But what about the next one? O-Or the one following? O-Or...». Marinette caught herself. She couldn't let herself cry in front of Chat. It wasn't fair to make him worry for her, not after the Akuma. «I'm starting to think I'm not the Ladybug Paris deserves. Maybe someone else...».

«Stop it, now!». His order made her gasp and effectively shut her up. «Do you realize what you just said?  _That you aren't a good Ladybug!_ ».

«I...».

«I'm stopping you right now», he snapped, silencing her for the second time. «We faced countless Akumas before. What makes you think that this one would make you a bad Ladybug?».

«Chat...».

«You're just a girl, for God's sake!», he burst out, startling her. «Nobody's perfect! And you aren't even an adult! Neither of us are! How can you blame yourself for just not being perfect?!».

His voice, so filled with anger and disbelief, made her only feel worse. And his trust, his blind trust, just worsened the whole.

«Chat... I need to... go». She was at loss of words. «Please, just... be at the Eiffel Tower tomorrow night».

«Ladybug, what...».

« _Tikki, spots on!_ ». He heard her running away.

« _Plagg, claws out!_ ».

But she was already gone, and there was no chance he would reach her before she reached her home.

  
  


«Marinette, what are you doing?». Tikki's voice was diffident.

«Preparing», she answered, letting the emotions flow. «I... I want to do w-what's best for Paris... for once». The last words came out bitterly, and Tikki did not miss it.

«Marinette, you did so many things for Paris...».

«Not enough». She sobbed quietly. «Someone else would do better».

«Marinette, we discussed that so many times...».

«Come on, look at me!». The Kwami was startled by the sudden anger in her chosen's voice. «I'm not Ladybug! I'm a messy, clumsy, useless shy girl that attends high school. How can I be Paris's superhero?».

«You are!». For the first time since they met, Tikki's voice wasn't soft and encouraging. It was angry and hard. «How many times did you defeat Hawkmoth? How many times did you save Paris? How many times did you save _Chat_?».

«He would be better off with another Ladybug!», cried out the girl, finally bursting into tears. «He would».

«He would? But if you said, just the other day, that he is basically head over heels for you!».

«For Ladybug».

«Then ask him», concluded Tikki. «Ask him if he really wants another Ladybug».

«He's too kind to answer yes», sobbed Marinette. «He would rather keep me».

«I don't think he would lie to you».

«I don't want to force him to», she replied, drying her tears. «That's why I want to help him».

«Marinette, what...».

  
  


«Kid, what's that look?».

«Plagg, you said you met many Ladybugs during your life, right?». At the nod, Adrien sighed. «Has one of them ever acted like this?».

«Self-blaming?». He snorted. «Of course. And many Chat Noirs as well. You, too».

«I wasn't strong enough to defeat the Akuma!», protested Adrien, taking his head with his hands. «She is the cleverness, I'm supposed to be the strength!».

«You aren't supposed to be anything», continued the Kwami. «Just yourself».

«You are so very helpful, as _always_ », hissed the boy, turning his back on him. Plagg didn't reply for a second, but when he did, his voice was hurt.

«I'm not helpful on short terms, no», he said. «Usually I help to build up something that you will realize in weeks or even months». He shook his head. «I know I'm not, but I also know why».

Adrien flinched at the hurt in his tone, already sorry for his outburst, and turned to face him.

«Ladybug's Kwami helps on those. Ladybug handles long term thoughts just fine», he continued, gravely. «But you are good on short term and bad on long term. Yin and yang, remember».

«How could not remember?», he moaned. «We are the exact opposite! And I am so stupid to love her...».

«Love is rarely a rational emotion», shrugged Plagg. «But you aren't really the yang, just like she isn't the yin. Not in normal life, at least».

«You mean that she's different while a civilian?».

«I've never heard a pun from Adrien, or a flirt».

«I pretend for my father's reputation», complained the boy. «Why would she pretend?».

«You should ask her». The Kwami yawned. «But now it's bedtime. Sleep well, kid».

Unfortunately, his worry did not make him sleep so well. Almost not at all.

  
  


«Adrien Agreste, would you please honour us with your attention». He snapped out of his sleepy trance and nodded. He didn't even have the strength to answer.

Nino, beside him, nudged him as he started to trail off again. «Hey, what's wrong? You never nap during a lesson».

«I... I didn't sleep much», admitted Adrien, rubbing his tired eyes. «Yesterday's been a long day, and a long night too».

«Come on, you could have called you sick and slept all the morning!», muttered his friend. «Just like Marinette!».

Only then Adrien realized that the bluenette was nowhere to be found. «She... she's sick?».

«Maybe. Or maybe she just overslept», Alya's voice came from behind them. «Worried, Mister Model?».

«Just sleepy and not thinking right», mumbled the boy, rubbing his eyes again. «I'm pretty tired».

«You shouldn't rub them», Alya replied. «You'll just get red eyes».

«Yes, mommy». She raised an eyebrow, but did not reply. «So Marinette's sick?».

«Oh, you're so nice when you worry about her», giggled Alya, teasingly. «I think she has her reasons».

«Lahiffe, Cesaire and Agreste, your attention, please». Madame Bustier voice was severe. «Or I will have to give you punishment».

Adrien nodded again, mechanically, together with his friends. But, as soon as the professor turned, he scribbled a short message for Alya and passed it to her.

_**What does she have?** _

Alya grinned, already thinking of the most teasing answer she could come up with, but then she noticed how really tired Adrien looked. It was no time for jokes.

**I don't know. Maybe she'll arrive later.**

Then, almost as if with an afterthought, she added

**She'll be fine, don't worry.**

She meant it truly, and her decision not to tease him seemed even righter after he nodded.

He looked really tired. Maybe he had caught a cold or something, and was trying to hide it from his father. Gabriel Agreste was the kind of man to be disappointed for a simple cold.

As she threw him a glance, she saw he was drifting off again. And she saw the professor saw it too.

But the woman just let her eyes linger sadly on the sleeping boy before continuing the lesson.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a good start. I hadn't thought about Madame Bustier reaction to the sleeping Adrien until I was typing it down.  
> Let's hope the rest will come just as smoothly.  
> Comments are appreciated, since this is my first fanfiction. I hope I won't let you down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here we see what has Marinette done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot is moving fast. But I can assure it's on an hyperbolic angle. The more the story will continue, the slower the plot will continue.  
> Enjoy.

Adrien was awakened by Nino's gentle shake. He mumbled something unintelligible and tried to get back to sleep.

«Adrien, come on. Weren't you worried about Marinette?». Nino shook his shoulder harder. «Here she is».

Slowly, still in the sleep haze, he looked up just in time to see the girl waving shyly at him before sitting at Alya's side, muttering something about having overslept. He rubbed his eyes -despite Alya having told him not to- and yawned, stirring a little. The professor did not even bothered to turn.

«Adrien Agreste, next time you want to take a nap, I suggest you to do it at home». He blushed slightly, being this the first time ever he'd slept in class. It had been such an awful night.

Marinette did not looked rested, too. She had circles under her eyes and she did not even tried to hide the tired look on her face. The first thing he noticed was that she had red eyes, but not from rubbing – from crying. It hurt him a little to know that his friend had been crying, but he was sure there was nothing the three of them could help with. How wrong he was.

The second was that for the first time ever, her hair were down, surrounding her face and only emphasising the sadness in her eyes. He had never seen her hair uncombed. Not that she wasn't pretty -she was- but it gave him the strange feeling that something was off. Deeply off.

Third, and last, he noticed that her earrings were missing. Nino had told him she had got those almost right before starting high school, but he had always seen her with them. If only he could call Plagg out and ask him – not that he would have been helpful, but at least he was someone he could tell everything.

Marinette noticed his stare and blushed. «H-Hi Adrien», she said, so low to be almost in playback.

«Hey Marinette», he greeted her, stifling a yawn. «You look awfully tired. Did you sleep bad?».

She nodded, tearing her eyes away from his. «I-I was... nervous».

She was good at lying. That's why nobody ever discovered she was Ladybug. But, unluckily for her, Adrien was better. He pretended almost everyday, it had become second nature.

But his first nature was kindness, so he felt no right to inquire further, even if that left him worried and disappointed. He wanted to know if there was something wrong, because he could _feel_ there was. And after a moment, and idea came to him.

He grabbed another shred of paper and scribbled just seven words on it before passing it to Nino.

_**Today. 4:00. Eiffel Tower. Us 4. Deal?** _

His best friend nodded and signed him in, then slipped it on Alya's desk, who promptly signed almost without giving it a glance.

Then she handed it to Marinette.

The girl read it about four times, then she glanced at the others. Slowly shaking her head, she returning it to Alya.

_Shit_ , thought Adrien, and Alya seemed to share the feeling, because she leaned over to Marinette and began whispering, her expression clearly puzzled. After a full minute, the bluenette finally nodded remissive and signed the paper. As it returned in Adrien's hands, he added his own thin, elegant signature before dropping it in his pocket.

He was going to have a talk with Plagg, as soon as he was home.

  
  


«What's now, kid?», the annoyed Kwami asked, stirring and flying out of his shirt. «I don't smell Camembert nor I hear screaming, so why should you wake me?».

«It's Marinette», he blurted out, without even giving it a second thought. Ladybug was long forgotten. «She doesn't seem to be okay».

«Feeling your heartbeat going mad, Lover Boy?», snickered Plagg, landing in front of him. «I thought you had just one lady».

«I didn't wake you up to be mocked at», Adrien snapped, drawing a hissing breath between his clenched teeth. «Something's wrong, I know it».

«You do not look great by yourself, kitty», yawned the Kwami, looking at him with a big question mark on his face – after he finished yawning, of course. «Maybe she just had a bad night».

«She had her hair uncombed, no earrings and lied to me when I...».

«I was there, kid, I heard her».

«...plus she cried. If this does not scream "SOMETHING IS WRONG HERE", I don't know what does».

«Chloé getting unbearable for the umpteenth time?», suggested Plagg, not minimally impressed. «Too much homework?».

«She never did this before».

«You met her at the start of the school», pointed out the Kwami, grumblingly. «You should ask Nino».

«She hadn't met Chloé before the start of the school, and she did not have homework», retorted Adrien. «I just want to help her if she needs».

«She would ask».

«She never asked», he snapped again. «What makes you think she would?».

«How old is she?», inquired Plagg, looking at him with piercing eyes.

«What… she's my age», answered Adrien, confused. «Why do you ask? You should know».

«She's your age, then why do you treat her like she's a confused little child needing someone to tell them what to do?». The Kwami's argument cut deeply in his heart. Was he really treating her like a child? «If she needs, she will ask».

«But then why the uncombed hair and the lack of earrings?», continued Adrien. «This does not make any sense».

«Nothing makes sense every time you look at it», he wisely replied. «Maybe you will find out soon, maybe you won't find out. This won't stop the Universe, so why should it stop you?».

«I'm not the Universe, Plagg!», he finally burst. «She's my friend! I want to help her like she has done so many times with me!».

«Think, kitty», hissed back the Kwami. «Do you think that she would tell you if you just walk straight up to her and ask her "Marinette, your hair are uncombed, you have no earrings, you have been crying and I can swear you lied to me when I asked you if you had slept bad. What's wrong?" would do the job? Your brain is too focused on the present. Sometimes, you should think to the future…».

«That's what Ladybug always says».

«Because she's right!», he stormed on. «What about trying to figure out what's wrong, without having to embarrass her with your pity».

«I do not pity her», protested Adrien. «She's an amazing person, why should I pity her?».

«Then do not think she will allow you to know her secrets so easily. You're not Alya, do you know it?». The Kwami took a deep breath. «Find out what is wrong and correct it. Or even better, make her correct it without forcing her, but just being there for her. It is the best thing you can do».

Adrien just stared at him for a second. And then for another. And another. «P-Plagg?», he finally stammered. «I didn't know you were  _that_ wise».

«Being thousands of years old helps», grumbled the Kwami, crossing his arms.

However, he looked much less offended as the boy handed him a large piece of Camembert.

  
  


Chat Noir jumped from rooftop to rooftop, trying to get rid of the memories of that afternoon.

They had started so well. They had found a bar and were just chatting like normal teenagers. Marinette was even looking slightly better, but she still did not comb her hair.

Dodging a chimney, he grimaced.

Nino had got a call, at some point, so Alya and Adrien had been left to speak with Marinette. He wouldn't have minded that, but Alya was pressing.

He almost stumbled, not watching his step, but caught himself.

Alya had started sailing toward the subject he cared about, too, but far too quickly for him – for Plagg, to say the truth. He would have talked like her, hadn't he the Kwami's remark still in mind. But the brunette did not have a black flying cat to teach her some wisdom, so she had just recklessly asked if Marinette needed help with something. It was clear she didn't want to talk about it, and Adrien had tried to change subject, only for Alya to ask her again.

His left foot failed him, sending him crushing on the roof. He groaned and stood again. The Eiffel Tower was almost in front of him.

The brunette had asked every question he would _not_ have asked. She asked about the hair, the earrings -that made Marinette flinch visibly- and the exhaustion in her eyes. Everything. Adrien just wished to be able to go back in time and fix it.

The Eiffel Tower stood proudly before him, but his eyes were lost in the sunny afternoon in which he had -for the first time- risked to punch Alya.

She had gone far too far. Marinette had just got up and, upon declaring she still had to do some homework, she had rushed home. Three hours later, Adrien had visited her window as Chat Noir.

He was running since then. Marinette had been crying when he peered through the glass, and she did not notice him, thankfully. But her look was enough to make him shiver. She looked broken, sad and infinitely more in pain than a dying man.

It took him five seconds to turn and run. But now, almost two hours later, he felt like the rush had been useless. He was still seeing Marinette's desperate eyes and her crouched body shook by sobs.

_First Ladybug, then Marinette_ , he moaned.  _What is happening?_

God, he hated that feeling of powerlessness that was overwhelming him. He wanted to do something for both of them. And if it was difficult with Marinette -a girl he knew and was a friend with-, it was impossible with Ladybug, who had never shared her secret identity with him.

«I will bring them back», he swore to himself. «Both of them. I will get everything back».

_Plagg knew Adrien couldn't hear nor see him while transformed, so he smiled. «Truly a Chat Noir»._

His mind was still haunted by the image of Marinette crying so desperately in her room, but he was determined to see clearly. He looked around, but Ladybug was nowhere to be found. It reminded him of that morning at school. But it was a different situation, with a different girl. Marinette.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Since Ladybug wasn't there, he climbed up to the spot where he was used to sit while watching the light of Paris.

He immediately noticed the small box. And since he didn't place it there, the only other person who would have known of his being there, was Ladybug. She had left something for him.

As he opened the box, however, he froze. Saying that he shivered in terror would be like saying that a mountain is a pile of earth and rock. He started to tremble and he had to keep himself from throwing up.

In the box there were two earrings, an accurately folded page and, most surprisingly and terrifying, a small ladybug-like pink creature – a Kwami. _Her_ Kwami.

«N-No!», he managed to choke out, as the small creature looked up at him. As strange as it could seem for a Kwami, she had been crying. _Just like Marinette_ , he thought, but quickly turned it away. His mind was really starting to malfunction, and not for lack of sleep. In terror.

«Chat Noir!», Tikki exclaimed. «What are you doing here? Where is…», her voice died. «She really left».

The statement was so filled with sadness and sorrow that even Adrien's black-outed mind cleared for a second, trying to comfort her.

«I'll bring Ladybug back to you», he swore, even more convinced than before. «To us. I swear, but I need your help».

«I…». The Kwami hesitated. «I can't tell you her secret identity».

«I need Plagg for this», he mumbled. «Let's go to my house».

«But I…».

«You will see who I am, yes», he snapped, angrily. How could a formality like that be important now? «I'm Adrien Agreste, so you won't find out later. And since I'm going to give the earrings back to her, I will find out who she is».

The pink Kwami closed her mouth, stunned.

«But I need _my_ Kwami, now», he continued. «We have to discuss that, all of us. Otherwise I'm going to start crying like…». His next word did not come, as sudden realization hit him like a hammer. A big, heavy sledgehammer wielded by a giant.

«C-Chat?».

«HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO BLIND!?!», he shouted so loudly that Tikki squealed and fled into the box. «SHE HAS BEEN RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES FOR _MONTHS_!!».

«Chat…».

«SHE IS…», he cut himself off as he realized to be shouting. «…Marinette», he ended in a broken whisper.

Tikki nodded. «You have to get me to her as s…».

«No». The Kwami stopped, shocked. «I have to make sure this won't ever happen again».

The Kwami looked at him, bewilderment in her large blue eyes. «What?».

«She is so unsure of herself», he stated, wiping off his face tears he didn't acknowledged to have been crying. «I have to make her believe in herself. After everything she did for me, I owe her this one».

«It's what I've been trying since we first met», complained Tikki. «What makes you think you can succeed?».

He took a deep breath. «I loved Ladybug. I was _in love_ with her», he murmured. «But Ladybug is just a name, a mask under which there was someone else».

Tikki nodded, letting him speak for once. «I was in love with Ladybug. Ladybug was Marinette». His voice became ironic. «So I was in love with Marinette. The side of her that Adrien wasn't allowed to see».

«Nobody was, Chat», argued the Kwami, however sadly. «She is brave and bold when other needs her, when she does it for _others_ ». Her voice dropped in tone. «She always said she wasn't a good Ladybug, and I always defended her from herself, but this time she was really desperate».

«If I love her, if I'm _in love_ with her, then there must be a way for me to help her».

« _Plagg, claws in_ ». With a flash of green, Adrien was standing where Chat Noir had been just seconds before.

«Hi Tikki», the tiny black cat offered, with a dry smile. Not even he was immune from grief.

«Hi Plagg», she replied, a little cheered up. «It's been a while since we last saw each other».

«Kitty, if you don't mind, I think we should discuss this at home», said Plagg, turning to Adrien. «It's not secure here, and surely not comfortable».

The boy just shoved both Kwami in his shirt and picked up the box.

  
  


Marinette was just crying. Not silently. Not quietly. Not lightly.

He was shook by uncontrollable sobs and wails that threatened to shatter her petite figure. She had endured so many hits while Ladybug, and yet nothing could have been compared to this.

It wasn't a pain from the outside, it was sorrow from her inner self, the part of her that knew what she had done.

She had betrayed Chat.

She had betrayed Tikki.

She had betrayed Paris.

She had betrayed even herself, going against her heart to follow her mind.

And it was more than she could bear.

A small part of her, the part that always took control when she was Ladybug, told her that she had been stupid to think not to be able to handle the Akumas. She had always performed wonderfully, and she would have continued to do so, hadn't she given up her Miraculous.

Another part of her, the shy and clumsy part that was showing to the world, told her that she valued nothing, just like Chloé always said. She couldn't even speak clearly in front of a boy she liked, how could she save Paris?

But the great majority of her was just in pure pain for having to betray her closest friends. Tikki and Chat were gone, forever. She knew that her Kwami -her _former_ Kwami- couldn't tell him her secret identity. And Chat had never discovered anything about her civilian life: how could he find her in a city made up of _millions_ of people?

So, it made sense that when he knocked at her window, she just passed out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if this can be called a cliffhanger. I supposed it depends on how you view it. However.  
> Maybe someone will argue Chat finding out her identity so easily. But that's the point. Unless there is some strange magic protecting them from being recognized (nothing I've heard, sincerely), a mask does not do miracles. And God, they're classmates! They hear each other's voices every time they go to school! Adrien is quite oblivious (that's clear), but even he got it when he connected the dots.  
> This is not exactly a fanfiction about revealing. That is too cliché…


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Adrien relies on instincts.

«So, Plagg», sniffed the pink Kwami. «How it is to live with Adrien?».

«Why do you want to know?», diffidently asked the black cat.

«Well… From what I know of Adrien, he's a kind and loving boy», continued Tikki, drying her eyes for the umpteenth time. «That does not fit your normal chosen ones».

«What if I tell you Adrien is the incarnation of a black cat?», grumbled Plagg.

«Come on, just admit that for once you did not chose a broken kid to straighten, old sage», half-heartedly joked Tikki. «You have the habit of picking up the pieces of a person and make it whole again, while having him saving the world».

«And you have the habit to pick subjects you shouldn't be talking about», snorted Plagg. «From what I know, this isn't the first time a Ladybug gives up».

«It wouldn't be the first time for a Chat Noir to suicide, too», she snapped, but the black Kwami's wide eyes gave her a bad feeling. «Plagg? What did I say?».

«Just…». He sighed, and for a split second there was no sarcasm, no mockery and no presumption in his voice. «I don't want to speak about it, right now. Suicide is never a good subject».

«What?».

«Plagg, we're at her house», Adrien's voice called him. «I'm going in, and do not argue. I know what I'm doing».

« _Plagg, claws out_ ».

  
  


When he saw Marinette still crying, he couldn't help himself. He had to do something, be it as stupid as visiting her.

He expected her to push him away.

He expected her to ignore him.

He even expected her to vent her emotions on him and shout at him.

But he did not except for her to faint the moment she saw him at her window.

Since the window was open -and that was strange but welcome- he slipped in her room. He was tempted to tuck her into bed, give her back her earrings and order Tikki to tell her it had been a dream. But he had to solve the problem, not to ignore it.

So he just swept her up in bridal style -that made him remember all the times he'd wanted to do it with Ladybug- and laid her on the bed, waiting for her to get back to reality.

It took her almost half an hour, but it looked like days for him. He almost feared she could have fallen in coma. But then she opened her eyes and saw him, sitting up so quickly she almost banged her head against his. Only his feline reflexes saved them from a terrible headache.

«C-Chat?», she said, bewildered. «W-What are y-you doing in my room, a-at this hour?».

«I…». He was at loss of words. Then Tikki's words appeared in his minds, as clear as water.

_She is brave and bold when other needs her, when she does it for others._

«I just wanted to talk».

«At this hour?».

Chat had to make her think he needed her. It wasn't so difficult. It was the truth. He needed her to help him, before he could help her. He had never helped someone that way: he had to learn.

«It's about Ladybug». He saw her eyes shutting tight and he felt a pang of guilt. «She… she left».

Marinette did not answer.

«I saw you were awake», continued Chat, tears already forming in his eyes. God, he thought he was pretending, but he really needed her to comfort him. Before he could get back Ladybug, he had to ask Marinette to help him get over her loss. It was crazy. «A-And I needed someone to talk to».

«It's okay». When she opened her eyes, he saw determination in them. Determination to help him. _Oh, how could I not recognize her? She's identical_! «Just tell me what happened».

«I… I got a message from Ladybug». He had to be careful. He was telling her he had received _her_ message. She would have detected any lie. «I-It said she… she left».

«What did it say, exactly?».

«I don't know», he replied, sincerely. «It was in a box together with her Miraculous. I did not read it. The Miraculous was enough».

«Chat, I'm sorry…».

«No». His voice wasn't hard nor commanding, and yet shut her up as if he had shouted. «This is my fault. I'm her partner, I should have talked this out with her».

«Chat…».

«No, Marinette», snapped the boy, looking at her. She stifled a gasp as she saw his eyes.

His eyes, normally so mischievous and merry, were two _pools_ of sadness and sorrow. «It had been my fault. I should have noticed this before. I should have changed it. I _know_ I could have changed it, if only I had tried!». He wanted to add more, to chastise himself for everything, but she took him by surprise.

Despite all the pain she had shown when he saw her from the window, she hugged him to comfort him. _She really is Ladybug_.

And then he hugged her back, finally bursting into tears on her shoulder, while he felt her crying against his chest. He found out that crying with someone was much less painful. He had always avoided crying. In a cold house like his, crying was unbearable. But now, in Marinette's warm room and embrace, his hot tears were liberating, not oppressing.

Having silently slipped in the room, Tikki watched longingly at the two superheroes, finally being free of their responsibilities, acting like the teenagers they were, and had been denied to be in exchange of such a duty. Finally, she started to see why Plagg had chosen Adrien.

And even if she was partly right, she was still wrong.

  
  


Marinette's heart was beating madly against her ribs. Having Chat this near right after having betrayed him was so hurtful. But hearing his words was even more.

Every time she looked back to her reasons for giving up the Miraculous, she only saw her mistakes. And yet Chat only blamed himself for her disappearance. Every word was a stab in her heart.

She felt like during the right thing for him when she had left that message, and yet there he was, trying to conceal the burning tears in his eyes, in need of someone to talk to. She could only thank God to have been conceded to comfort him. Seeing her partner so broken was way harder than fighting Akumas.

It was only when she finally hugged him that she realized she could no more restrain her own tears. She was sure he had noticed it, but he only tightened his embrace, as if not willing to let her go. His suit slowly warmed up, and she started to feel sleepy. Crying is always a tiring activity.

When she drifted off, he had already stopped sobbing. Her own pain was much less, having been eroded by Chat's hug.

Yet both of them failed to noticed that they fell asleep embraced, in her bed.

Alya would have said it looked so bad, but she wasn't there to remind them of it.

  
  


In the middle of the night, Tikki was awakened by a flash of green light.

«Plagg?».

«What do you want?».

«Why did you de-transformed?».

«I was getting bored».

«Try to sleep for a while. Before Marinette wakes up, we will have to be gone, or she will freak out».

«Why?».

«She fell asleep with Chat Noir», giggled Tikki. «And she wakes up in her crush's arms».

«So she likes Adrien?». The Kwami's voice was the one of someone who had been told that his birthday would come earlier this year. «Please, tell me she does».

«I just thought it would be a payback for him telling me he loved Ladybug», shrugged Tikki. «But do not tell him».

«I won't», snickered Plagg, quite evilly. «Oh, I absolutely won't».

His grin widened even more as he added «This does not mean I won't make ill use of it».

«Plagg…».

«No way».

  
  


When Marinette woke up, Chat was gone. She thought it had been a dream, until she saw a note left on her chaise.

_**Thank you for your help. I really needed it.** _

_**C. N.** _

_**PS: I know I am a wonderful pillow, but sleeping together? Princess, that must have looked so bad. ;-)** _

Her face shifted from pleased, to annoyed and then to shocked.

«OhmyGod!», she moaned, taking her head in her hands. «I literally slept with Chat! Of course that looked bad!».

«Well, at least nobody knows» she comforted herself. She had no wish to go to school, but she knew far too well where her mind would have wandered if she had left her free from thoughts.

Either to Ladybug, or to Chat. The first thought was hurtful. Then second was supremely embarrassing.

«At least he didn't kiss me right away», she mumbled, starting to pack her things, readying herself for the school.

  
  


«I really had half an idea of kissing her», admitted Adrien as he dropped his transformation. «But I don't think it would have worked. Also, it's not exactly fair kissing a girl who doesn't love you nor know your true identity».

«Plan for today, lover boy?».

«Go to school», he grumbled. «And shutting you up».

Then almost with an afterthought, he added «And talking to Marinette»

  
  


She arrived late. As always. But for once, she arrived late not because she had overslept, but because she had over-thought. But, surprisingly, her thoughts weren't about Ladybug – or rather her no longer being Ladybug.

Hers were the thoughts of a normal teenager, for once.

And of course, they were about Chat Noir.

Well, not exactly _him_. More like the fact she slept with him and he did not even bother to apologize. Not that he had to -she was the one sleeping on him- but it would have been nice. Not apologizing after visiting a girl in the middle of the night, crying his soul off on her shoulder -the right one, to be precise, but she didn't remember-, letting her fall asleep on him, probably drifting off himself, waking up and leaving with just a note was in his rights. But it was also a bit rude.

She held nothing except friendly love for Chat. She knew it -he knew it too- and there was no doubt over it. This did not hold her from freaking out over it for the whole morning like a fifteen years old – oh, right, she was fifteen years old.

And when she arrived to school and finally took her seat, she couldn't help but feel like having betrayed Adrien. To make things worse, as soon as he saw her, he waved at her with the sunniest smile she'd ever seen.

 _Don't think to Chat, don't think to Chat_ , she told herself, collapsing in her seat. _Don't you dare to think to Chat_.

But of course her mind wouldn't let her go so easily. Fortunately, Madame Bustier made her appearance in time, distracting her from her thoughts and giving her safer things to think about – even if much more _boring_.

Twenty minutes before the end of the school, a shred of paper landed on her desk. Looking up, she saw Adrien smiling at her. After blushing not-so-subtly -but that was a reflex- she picked up the paper and glanced at it, unsure if she had to read it before letting Alya read.

But since her best friend was busy scribbling on her notebook -not for school notes, of course-, she decided to be able to handle a message from Adrien without embarrassing herself in front of everyone.

_**Do you want to hang out this afternoon? I'm free at 5:00. I can pick you up at your place and we can have a walk. So?** _

_**PS: answer me on this, because I think Madame Bustier would not like chatting students in her classroom.** _

Giggling softly at her friend's perfect handwriting -and at his ignorance on the difference between a message and a letter-, she did not realize immediately that Adrien was inviting her out without Nino and Alya.

She realized it after she had agreed and returned the message to Adrien, who gave her a second smile and thumbs-up. And when she processed her actions, it was too late to take it back.

Not too late, however, to become red and risk to faint on the spot.

_OhmyGodI'mindeeptroublenow. It will go so very wrong, I will trip and fall for him -ON HIM- and it will be so very ridiculous and he will laugh at me and…_

_No, wait. Adrien is far too kind to do that._

… _And I won't even be able to talk to him, and I'll make everything so awkward and he will get bored of me and leave me alone and…_

_Stop again, Adrien would never do that._

… _I will be a mess, just like usual, he will have to speak all by himself since I won't be able to say a single word and in the end he will think I hate him and will start avoiding me…_

_Definitely stop. At the start of the school, he thought I hated him, and he apologized for something he never did and offered me his umbrella and…_

_I don't even have something nice to wear!_

The silliness of her last thought brought her back to the real world. A world where Adrien would never laugh  _at_ her -but  _with_ her-, where Adrien would never ditch her, where Adrien would never avoid her and where Adrien wouldn't care about her outfit.

True, true, true, false. Because even if he would never let anyone except for Plagg know it, he still was an heterosexual fifteen-years-old boy. Of course the outfit was way less important than the person in it. He still was kind boy. But this did not mean he wouldn't care.

  
  


«You know, Plagg, I'm not so sure that asking her out is the best option», mumbled Adrien, nervously tapping the table. «It sounds a bit… extreme».

«Not as much as sleeping with her», retorted the Kwami, flatly.

«All right», sighed the boy. «Are we gonna talk about it now?».

«Yes».

«All right», he repeated, wearily. «I messed up».

«Mmh».

«I should have restrained myself from visiting her as Chat Noir», continued Adrien. «I shouldn't have let myself act like that. She must have been heartbroken».

«Mmh».

«I'm a jerk», he sighed, his Kwami ready to agree. Tikki was looking at them quite confused, munching a cookie. «I've hurt her just to comfort myself. I've ended up crying like a child, crying for something _she_ did. I was a jerk!».

«Mmh».

«I should have comforted _her_ , not be comforted _by_ her», he snarled, slamming a fist on the table. «The first time I try, and I fail!».

«Dumb kid».

«I know! I…».

«Dumb kid», repeated Plagg, not minimally impressed. «You actually did a good thing. I was hoping you could figure it out by yourself, but evidently…».

«What?».

«She let you», simply answered the Kwami, shrugging.

«What's that supposed to mean?».

«Think», snorted Plagg. «Why should she have let you?».

«Because…». He trailed off. «Give me a minute».

«Take it».

Why should she have let him? She was Ladybug, she would have let anyone. Or not?

Another fact occurred to him. She cried when he was there. After he started to cry, she comforted him in an embrace, but she started to cry as well. That could mean it really hurt her to see him, or…

She trusted him to stay while letting out her sorrow.

«Wait a second…», he murmured. «She… trust me?».

«You got it!», exclaimed Plagg, bored. «You took your time, eh?».

«And if she trust me… If she comforted me», reasoned Adrien, stroking his chin. «Maybe she think I will come again… Maybe she will let me in her room again…».

Plagg looked at him flatly as he slowly reached the answer.

«If she lets me in her room…». Realization struck him and his eyes lighted up. «Maybe I will be able to help her!».

«Finally!», snorted the Kwami, shaking his head. «What time is it?».

«Four thirty-seven», replied Adrien, checking his watch.

Plagg and Tikki exchanged a glance.

«Oh, my God!». He jumped on his feet. «Marinette!».

«Dumb kid», commented Plagg again. Tikki thought about it for a second, then she nodded in agreement.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm supposing that the Miraculous transformation -unless a special power is used- can last as much as the Kwami allows it to, or until massive damage (the damage taken by Chat Noir and Ladybug kinda transfer on Plagg and Tikki, but since they're basically gods it doesn't hurt them so much) is taken.  
> Next chapter, their date… I mean, Adrien and Marinette have a walk together.  
> Of course I mean it. I did not say date.  
> PS: I'm currently updating with a three-days rule (three is my favourite number, plus is a lucky number for many reasons). In the comments, anyone can ask for different spacing between chapters. From what I know of my life (everything) I can tell everyone that updating every 1-to-2 days could be difficult. Updating as soon as a chapter's ready could make the spacing very irregular. Three is my current choice, but everyone can just express his own idea. Four-to-more days could not be necessary, because I'm usually able to write enough in the evening (in the night, to say the truth).  
> Let me know.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their date... I mean walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please no comments "Adrien, your Chat is showing".  
> I know fairly well.

It was just hanging out with a friend. Marinette was sure of it and she would _not_ act like he had asked her out on a date. She would treat him like a friend. The handsomest, kindest and nicest friend she ever dreamt of.

This meant that she would _not_ comb her hair as if it was a date. She would _not_ spend a hour trying to decide the best outfit as if it was a date. She would _not_ feel like in Heaven as if it was a date.

This meant that she combed her hair as if it was just hanging out. She spent a hour trying to decide the best outfit as if it was just hanging out. She felt like in Heaven as if it was just hanging out.

With Adrien.

The only thought of him made her giggle excitedly. He had never asked her out -to hang out, of course- without Alya and Nino, like this, out of the blue.

She felt a pang of regret as she wondered what would Tikki have said in such an occasion.

  
  


«Ah, Marinette, I'm so happy for you!», dreamily sighed the pink Kwami, shifting under Adrien's jacket. «You really deserve this. Just believe in yourself, and everything will be fine».

Plagg looked at her, and shook his head.

  
  


Even if she had picked her outfit keeping in mind it was just hanging out, she couldn't help but choose carefully. She knew Adrien was always well-dressed, so she couldn't at least _try_ to imitate him.

And yet, in the end she chose to wear exactly what she always wore, with no make-up and uncombed hair – not even her usual pigtails.

She was fairly happy with her choice, and she had just finished putting the other clothes in the wardrobe when her mother called her from downstairs.

«Marinette! He's here!». Fortunately, her parents were too busy with their baking job to tease her a little.

She rushed out of her room, only to stop halfway through the living room, take a deep breath and walk the rest of the distance to the door.

«H-Hey Adr…»

When she opened, she could swear her jaw hit the floor.

Adrien was waiting on the doorstep, turning to smile to her as she saw him. His outfit was the exact opposite of "normal", especially because almost everything he wore was black leather. He wore knee-high boots decorated with small steel cut-like lines on the sides. Skin-tight pants followed the boots' decoration, with the sides embellished with steel scratches. A simple long-sleeved black shirt -also skin-tight, as Marinette couldn't help but notice- under a leather jacket. The steel cuts on the jacket rode up his sides and crossed his back, intersecting, before reaching the shoulders and following the line of the arm. Black gloves -with steel wounds on them, too- completed the outfit, together with a -black- leather belt with a silver pattern on it.

Marinette stumbled while still.

He was swift at catching her, even if he did not have a clue about why she had fallen.

«Marinette?», he asked, steadying her. «Are you okay?».

She nodded, keeping his glance fixed on her shoes so to hide the strong -no, the invincible- blush that crept to her face.

«Marinette?». Another nod. «Do you… like my outfit? I mean, I bought it some days ago, but I did not have time to try it on, so…».

She took a deep but silent breath and step back, examining slowly and carefully, even if the answer was already in her head. For once, she could stare without being unkind: he asked her to.

«It's surely a bit dark…», she started, and immediately a shadow of worry appeared in Adrien's eyes. «But it fits you perfectly».

He relaxed. «So, final judgement?».

«You look like a fallen angel», she said without thinking. After realizing what she had said, she flushed deep red and wished to be able to disappear into thin air.

However, he laughed. «A fallen angel? Marinette, you flatter me».

When she did nothing except nervously bite her lower lip, he added «So I guess you like the theme, right?».

«I l-love it». _I love you_ , her mind corrected her.

«Would you like one?», he asked, disarmingly smiling at her.

«Y-Yes», she nodded, then she fretted. «N-No! I-I m-mean, you d-don't have t-to! I j-just s-said I like i-it I didn't m-mean I wanted o-one it's b-beautiful b-b-but it m-must be so v-very ex-expensive and…».

«Marinette». She stopped, blushing rapidly. «Please. If you can't afford one, then let me buy you one. Money's no problem for me, you know. This is actually of my father's company, so I will probably get a discount, too».

«But you don't have to…».

«Marinette, I already have in mind gifts for Nino's and Alya's birthdays that will probably cost much more». It was a double lie: first, he did not have anything in mind for his other two friends. Second, it was unlikely for any gift to cost "much more" than his current outfit. «Do not worry about the money».

«But it will cost so much…».

«Marinette», he replied, firmly, taking her by the shoulders. «Money's the only thing I have to offer.  _I_ can't offer you to come over at my place, or bake you some pastries, or sketch you a new dress, or kick your butt at Mecha Strike. Those are things you can do. If offering you some new clothes is all I can do, please let me do it».

«But…».

«No buts», said Adrien, tightening his grip on her shoulders and making her blush two shades deeper. «Or I will have to ask your measurements to Alya and then send you the clothes by delivery, and this would be much more embarrassing».

_Alya would never do something like that_ , she thought.  _Not even if Adrien's the one who asks. She wouldn't… would she?_

«Adrien, please…».

«No problem, then». She sighed in relief, but tensed up again when he picked his phone from his pocket, unlocking it and starting to scroll the saved numbers. «Alya will be more than happy to help me».

«No, Adrien, please, not Alya». He stopped and gave her a glance. Was he really blackmailing her into letting him spend a mountain of money to buy her a dress?

«So…?».

«I will, but please, not Alya». She shivered. «She would be able to really give you my measurements».

«Don't worry about that, I was bluffing», he smiled. It wasn't his usual smile: it was more like a smirk. «She gave me your measurements a long time ago».

«WHAT!?!».

He looked at her, deciding to press a little bit more. He was enjoying teasing her.

«And I must say, you have really perfect measurements», he added with a wink.

She gaped at him, breathless. Then she blushed of a so deep shade of red that all her blood had to have left the rest of her body in order to flow to her face. Then she stuttered something unintelligible.

Then she fainted.

  
  


«Now I see Chat», snorted Tikki.

«Yeah, but the best part is still to come», snickered Plagg. «Because Alya really gave him Marinette's measurements».

  
  


She woke up just twenty or so seconds later, finding out to be sitting on her house's doorstep, her head gently cradled in Adrien's lap.

«You know, we should go», he smiled as she stared at him, paralysed. «Shopping could take a while».

Her brain took his time to process what had happened. Adrien had showed up in a very-much- _hot_ outfit, asked her what she thought about it, insisted to buy her one -arriving even to blackmail her- and then joked about her measurements.

No, not joked: _teased_. He wasn't joking.

_OhmyGodhesaidhelikesmymeasurements…_ She wasn't sure if she should have blushed, thanked him or just fainted again.

Surely this wasn't the Adrien she was used to see. Definitely he wasn't. He did not tease -surely not on subjects like that-, he did not flirt -because the wink was full grade flirt- and he did not wear clothes like that – not in daily life: At photoshoots he wore basically everything the photographers wanted.

«A-Adrien? Did you r-really said t-that?».  _Oh God, this looks like I didn't like it…_

«Mmh…». He tapped his chin. «I guess so. Something's wrong?».

«Oh… Ehm… I… You… I…». In the mess of unconnected words made its way a sentence. «Did Alya really gave you my…». Why did she just said that?

«Mmh… Yes». He helped her on her feet. «Are you… mad at me?».

«N-No!», she exclaimed, immediately realizing she needed to add something else. «I-I'll b-be mad a-at Alya, it's n-not your f-fault».

«Are you sure?».

She nodded.

«Then I guess it's time for us to go shopping. After you, my… Marinette».

  
  


«Dumb kid», confirmed Tikki.

«Give him time», grinned Plagg. «He'll get worse».

  
  


«May I open my eyes, now?», asked Marinette, letting Adrien lead her while she kept her eyes shut.

«Wait just another minute», he replied. Then, since she couldn't see him, he winked. «We're almost there».

«I-I know where you are b-bringing me, Adrien». She had found out that her stammering had faded away during the walk with Adrien, turning from I-can-barely-speak to I-stutter-from-time-to-time. Maybe she was getting accustomed to his presence. The fact she couldn't see him also helped, even if just a bit.

«Oh, yes?». He smirked, nonchalantly. «Where?».

«To the  _Agreste Center Boutique_ », she replied, even adding a bit of tease in her voice. «Everyone could walk there blindfolded. It's probably the most important boutique of this part of Paris».

He pouted.

«You're right». He admitted, ruefully. «You can open your eyes».

She did slowly, letting her eyes adjust to the intense light. As soon as she saw where she was, she gasped and turned to face her friend, who was grinning from ear to ear.

«A-Adrien?!», she exclaimed. «You're joking, right?».

All around her there were dozens of different outfits -she could even see Adrien's brand-, all sharing the common dark theme. Black was the preponderant colour, matched with silver, gold and -sometimes- white pearls. Some other colours, like white and red, matched the black on some outfits, but mostly were just pitch black. The clothes were sorted by size and design, hanging in rows all across the wall and room. Ten meters away, a door led to the changing rooms, that where divided in men's and women's sections.

«Why should I be joking?», innocently asked Adrien, walking to a dress he was just dying to let her try on. «You don't like them?».

«I love them, but…». As he shoved the dress he was holding in her hands, she eyed the price. «ADRIEN!».

«Yes?». He tried to sound convincingly innocent, but the look in her eyes told him he failed.

«Three thousand Euros?». Her voice had an edge. A dangerous edge.

«Yes?». He failed again, watching helpless as her eyes narrowed.

«Adrien…».

«Come on, Marinette», he said, putting on a fake smile. «It's the first time I have the opportunity to gift something to someone».

«Adrien, I could  _never_ afford this dress, I don't want to make you pay so much for me!».

«Mari». He regained his composure. «I spend, yearly, much more for all the activities my father makes me attend. You should keep in mind that what I spend normally isn't what you spend normally».

«I don't want to make you feel poor», he hastily corrected himself. «I just want you to understand I'm rich. Much richer than I need to be. I just want to share part of it with the ones I care about».

«Adrien…». Her voice was low again. «You don't need to».

«I know», he replied, merrily. «But, Hell, if there's someone who really deserves that dress, it's you».

She blushed. «I-I…».

«Try it on», he encouraged her. «So you can match me today».

  
  


«Have you ever taught him the difference between compliments and full-grade flirt?», snickered Tikki, who was agreeing more and more with Plagg's vision of Adrien.

«No», Plagg replied, flatly. «He's a…».

«Dumb kid».

«Yeah».

  
  


«A-Adrien?». He turned as her voice rang in the silence. He quietly shoved both Kwami in his shirt -again- and turned toward the source of the sound.

«Yes, Marinette?», he asked. «Are you…».

His voice stopped in his throat as he saw her. He could have sworn he heard Plagg _and_ Tikki snickering in his shirt.

It was pretty similar to his outfit, but of course it was of a different size. The black leather boots had silver patterns on the upper part, and their sides were covered with silver raindrops – or tears, as someone could see them. A black shirt with a silvering dragon drawing on the front and a black jacket -that ended around her waist, not practical but surely hot- patterned with silver drops that covered back, sides and part of the front. Black fingerless gloves matched the shirt, with silver drawing of two dragon wings on their back. The dragon could also be seen in the belt, that -as Adrien immediately noticed- showed pretty much of her hips. He had to force himself not to stare.

_Come on, just yesterday she was just a good friend, what's the difference now?_

His thought could have been right, if not for two things. First, he now knew she was Ladybug, the girl he had fawned after for  _months_ . Second, but not less important, was that he had always thought that Marinette was beautiful -he even called her "hot", sometimes-, but he already had a lady -ehm ehm- and he would have stared at any girl other than Ladybug.

And that's why the most fitting description for how he felt was "black outed". His heart did not skip a beat: more probably it skipped an entire handful of beats.

«M-Ma-Marinette?», he finally stuttered, his mind still refusing to process anything but the sight of the girl in front of him.  _I've always thought Mari would look great in dark, but not_ that _great!_

«Do you… like it?», she asked, a light blush colouring her cheeks.

«You look beautiful!».  _Do not say "hot"!_ «Do you like it?».

«W-What if I say no?».

«It would be a lie», grinned Adrien, finally breathing again – breath he didn't know to be holding. «And I would buy it just the same».

«Adrien…».

«I thought we were over this», he grumbled, crossing his arms a pouting. «Let's ask Alya. If she says yes, it's yes».

«What if she says no?».

«It's yes». At her scowl, he laughed. «I'm joking, don't worry». It was so easy to tease and laugh and  _be himself_ now. She was his partner, his friend and his Ladybug. He did not have to worry about being perfect every single second anymore.

«Okay», she sighed, defeated. «Then I guess I can say I like it».

«Just like?», teased Adrien, picking out his phone and unlocking it.

«I…». She hesitated. «I love it».

He scoffed. «…took your time to admit it», he commented under his breath, so lowly that she didn't hear him. «Oh, hey Alya!».

_«Hey Adrien, what's up?»._

«I'm at the  _Agreste Center Boutique_ », he said, giving Marinette a thumbs-up. «I wanted to ask you something».

_«What?»._

«Should I buy this?». He took a photo of Marinette -who blushed profusely- and sent it to Alya, secretly saving it among his most precious photos of Ladybug. «The dress, not the girl».

_«Oh»._

For a good minute, the line went silent. «Alya? Are you all right?».

_«No! Yes! Maybe! I don't know!»._

«You sound definitely  _not_ all right».

_«Agreste!»_ . He flinched, fearing her terrible rage.  _«Listen to me_ very _closely»_ .

«I am». God, of course he was. He didn't want to end his life so early.

_«If Mari doesn't get that dress, I swear I will skin you alive and make myself a dress with your skin!»._

He shivered, thanking God Marinette couldn't hear the conversation.

«Don't worry. So it's a yes?».

_«Of course it is!»_ , shrieked Alya, freaking out.  _«But how did you convince Mari to let you buy her one?!»._

«I didn't», replied Adrien, shrugging. «That's why I called you. She refuses to tell me if she likes it or not».

_«Of course she likes it!»_ , retorted the brunette, her voice quite a few octaves higher.  _«Now buy it before she convinces you not to!»_ .

And the line went dead.

«I guess it's a yes», grinned Adrien, tilting his head toward Marinette.

She sighed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter… some "conversation".  
> Seriously.  
> Oh, I know that if I keep up with my three-days rule I won't be updating on Christmas Day, but I want to give you a present. An extraordinary update. So, you'll get a chapter on Saturday 23th, one on Monday 25th and one on Tuesday 26th. Let's hope those chapters will be ready by then.  
> Also, I don't know if I will be able to update this chapter normally 'cause my big sister is coming to stay with us for Christmas, and she arrives on Wednesday. Hopefully, I won't end up updating at eleven pm. Hopefully.  
> Last thing. If someone notices something wrong in the text -something without any sense, or an erroneous use of a word-, please comment to report it since English is not my first language. If someone is interested in reviewing my chapters, he/she can leave a comment. The one I will choose (I'll probably look his/her profile up) will be answered with my email. The others will be able to see it, of course, but since I use it just for Archive Of Our Own, I don't care about SPAM. Just be aware I will block every unwanted mail. If you want to comment my work, leave a comment.  
> In the case I give you mail email address and you're still interested, be sure to write the object in this form: "Archive of Our Own – Unsure and Alone – " + your username + " – "+ your name. True name, please, even if just the first name. If the object isn't written this way, I can't be sure of who you are.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some not-so-healthy conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the early update, but I've just bought another computer with Windows 10 and now it's driving me crazy 'cause it doesn't find any WiFi if the router's more than 1 meter away.  
> However... here's the chapter

Adrien was just ecstatic. He had never felt like that, especially so early in the morning.

Meanwhile, Plagg was quite annoyed, and Tikki was… well, Tikki was munching a cookie.

«Can you believe it?», wondered Adrien, clearly not wanting an answer. «I can't!».

Plagg scoffed, disgusted.

« _I bought her a dress!_ », he exclaimed, for the fourth time in a minute. «And she accepted it!».

Plagg opened his mouth to reply, but then he decided to let him continue for a little while longer before crushing his good mood.

«And then we talked for fifteen minutes!», he sighed in awe. «Just talk, with no Akuma or supervillains to defeat».

«Cut it off», snorted Plagg, finally deciding to smother his happiness after eighty-three seconds of silence. Well, smother wasn't the right word. Annihilate fitted better. «We gotta talk».

«Of course, Plagg», smiled Adrien. «What do you want to talk about?».

«Her».

«Perfect!», he laughed. «She's my favourite subject».

«I want you to sum me up what has happened from Freezer to this very moment». The Kwami thought for a second. «But be short».

«Well, we defeated her, then she left, then she left her earrings…». His voice grew gloomier as he continued. «And she was crying, I found the earrings, I visited her, we talked, I invited her out, we had a walk together and now here we are».

«I want you to examine closely some of those points», ordered Plagg. «Before she left, you two talked. What did you say?».

«I…».

«Okay, if I let you speak we won't ever get to the point», sighed the Kwami, taking the lead. «You told her not to say she wasn't a good Ladybug. I can tell from my experience with other Chat Noirs that just being told not to be bad isn't enough. You should have shown her».

Adrien fell silent.

«Then you said nobody's perfect», continued Plagg, nervously pacing forth and back. «If you read under the lines, such a statement -especially after the first one- basically specifies that she's got flaws».

«That's true!», blurted out Adrien. «She's reckless and stubborn and many other things, but it's normal!».

«Yeah, but it's not what she wanted to hear», growled Plagg, silencing him again. «She obviously thinks she  _has_ to be perfect in order to be a superhero. Not lose her head in jokes, puns and flirt. Not lose any chance she has to defeat the Akuma sooner. Not let you get too hurt because you want to protect her. Not be figured out. Not lose. Not let the Akuma fly away… The list is long».

Adrien just stared at him.

«So you basically confirmed her fears, when you said that», reasoned the Kwami. «You, her closest friend, told her she was right».

«Plagg…».

«Shut up!», he snapped. «I'm not done yet!».

«She gave up the earrings. You found them, and which is the first thing you do?». He scoffed. «Visit her. Do you realize how heartbroken she must have been that night? Christ, she  _fainted!_ ».

Adrien lowered his head.

«And then, on top of all, you invited her out as Adrien, acting midway between Adrien and Chat Noir», hissed Plagg, pointing an accusing finger at him. «Do you have any idea of how confused she must have been? Of what you did to her?».

«Plagg, stop», exclaimed Tikki, finally taking part to the conversation. «I know her far better than you do. She must have been so very happy when he asked her out. And she is stronger than you think. Adrien, you must believe me».

No answer.

«Adrien?».

Still silence.

«Adrien?». She stepped a little nearer. «Are you all…».

«No», he replied. «But let Plagg go on».

Tikki glanced at him, worried, but did not say a word.

«So, where was I?». The black Kwami cleared his throat. «Oh yes, I think this part of the conversation can be considered done. On with the second part».

«We all know you loved Ladybug». He scoffed. «And now that you know Marinette was Ladybug, you suddenly love Marinette. You know, you disgust me. You love her just because she is a superhero. You should love her for how  _normally_ she is!».

Adrien brought his legs up to his chest, still not raising his head.

«You always loved Ladybug. Yet you knew nothing - _nothing_ \- about her. Just that she was pretty, brave and that she saved Paris as daily routine. Well, if this is not worshipping, nothing is».

Tikki threw a glance at the boy, still unmoving, but stayed silent. Adrien had told her so.

«You love the idea you built yourself of Ladybug, not Ladybug». He spat, disgusted. «I think this is one of the reasons for why she thought she had to be perfect. Because she feared to disappoint you. She feared you would have turned your back on her».

«I-I would n-never t-turn my b-back on h-h-her».

«You really think so?», snickered the Kwami. «Then why did she think you would? Maybe you forgot to show it».

Silence.

«And now you love Marinette. Tell me, will you force her to uphold  _your_ expectations too?».

Silence.

«It's time for you to stop playing the hero and becoming one, Adrien», stated Plagg, firmly. «I can help you become one, but you have to choose, and you have to work on it. I will just tell you what to do, and you will have to do it».

Silence. Then…

A sob, immediately followed by another.

A shaking hand reached out and opened the drawer. With another sob, Adrien slipped the earrings in it.

Then he brought his hand to his ring and grabbed it.

«A-An A-Akuma is o-on its way, I'm s-s-sure», he stated. «I-I'm s-s-sorry».

Then he removed the ring, dropped it in the drawer and ran.

  


Plagg and Tikki did not exactly disappear. They were still there, they were just invisible to human eye.

And the black Kwami looked almost as broken as Adrien. He kept his eyes and mouth shut, as if in great pain, continuing to whisper the same word over and over again: «Nonononononononono…».

«Plagg». The pink Kwami landed at his side and put a tiny hand on his head. «Plagg».

«I shouldn't have been so harsh», he croaked, on the verge of tears. «He's right, an Akuma is coming, and there are no heroes this time».

«You can't save every Chat Noir».

«I'm a god».

«If he comes back, I want to help you help him», said Tikki, patting his back. «But I need to know who is Adrien».

«Do you remember you said many previous Chat Noirs committed suicide?».

«Yes».

«Adrien attempted». The Kwami was shook by a sob. «Five times».

«…». Tikki was utterly taken aback. Adrien? The sunny, kind, loving boy Marinette loved? «What?».

«After his mother died, he kinda convinced himself it was his fault», sobbed Plagg. «That if he had been stronger, or smarter, or simply  _better_ , she would not have disappeared».

«Then his father revealed his true, cold, heartless nature. And Adrien, again, blamed himself. He said that if he wasn't loved, it was because he did not deserve it».

«Love is not something you deserve!», exclaimed Tikki. «It's something you get!».

«He tried to kill himself five times, but they always saved him in time. Twice, he went so near death I was almost sure he wouldn't have survived».

«When he recovered, he did his best to satisfy his father. He was obsessed by being perfect. Why do you think I know when people can't accept themselves so well?».

He dried his eyes with a paw. «He had no friends, and a schedule so busy I could count his free minutes per day without exceeding the hundred». He sighed. «When he went to school for the first time, and he made friends, he came back home utterly torn apart. Part of him told him that he did not deserve his friend's love. Part of him saw how cold his father had been. That time, when he grabbed the knife, I was sure it was the end».

«But I've never seen scars on him».

«He's a model», growled Plagg. «He's not allowed to. They somehow cancel the scars».

«And the worst part is that his father knew, his father  _knows_ , and he still does nothing».

«Plagg…».

«We have to do something».

«We can't».

«We  _have_ to».

«Plagg». Tikki sighed. «We just can't».

  


Adrien stood in silence, his hands fisting in the cloth of the blue scarf. The blue scarf with Marinette's signature on it.

He knew she had a present for him. Yet he never received it.

Or so he thought.

The gift he thought from his father was her gift.

As always, his father had not given a damn about him.

He was over the edge.

  


_«Black Chaos»._

_«I am Hawk Moth»._

_«You are tired of having to uphold expectations. You are tired of having to do everything right. You are tired of having to restrain yourself from any action the others don't want you to do»._

_«You are tired of being perfect»._

_«I offer you to cancel perfection and order from this world. You will be able to do whatever you desire. No one will ever tell you again how to behave»._

_«I offer you the freedom of chaos»._

_«But I want you to retrieve something for me, in exchange»._

_«Take Ladybug's and Chat Noir's Miraculous, and bring them to me»._

_«Now go and spread chaos, my Akuma!»._

«As you order, Hawk Moth».

Adrien was still holding the scarf when the Akuma entered it.

«Black Chaos», he muttered, just before the transformation started. « _Great_ taste for names».

Surprisingly, he could still despise his worst enemy, even while allying with him.

The black butterfly disappeared in the scarf, releasing dark energy that flowed through it to Adrien's hands and body.

_«Surrender your will, Black Chaos»._

_«Remember, the more of yourself you give up, the more power you receive. Power to destroy all the ones who wanted you perfect. Power…»._

«Shut up, Hawk Moth», he shouted, clenching his hands. «I don't want to be the perfect Akuma. You offered me imperfection, and I will take imperfection».

_«You are walking a dangerous path, Black Chaos»._

_«I can bend your will, but this won't help you get your revenge»._

_«You can't resist me. The only thing you can do is slow me down»._

_«Do you really think to be different from all the other Akumas?»._

«You did not give me the power you offered me», Adrien growled. «You are enslaving me. Until this becomes a fair deal, I won't help you».

_«You will», snickered Hawk Moth. «By my will»._

_«Let's pay a visit to your so called friends. Let's see if they will still think you're so perfect»._

«Leave them alone», hissed Adrien. It was impressing how similar to a cat he could behave even without the Miraculous. «My father's the first».

_ «Your father?», laughed the villain. «Tell me, what would hurt you more? Knowing your father hates you, or knowing your  _ friends _ hate you?». _

It wasn't a fair question.

«Class is waiting», snarled Black Chaos, finally letting the dark energy take control.

His clothes were replaced by a dark suit that covered him entirely, even his face. It wasn't like Chat Noir's suit, that was comfortable and felt _good_. It exuded a feeling of evil so strong that it almost made him vomit. His head was hidden by a black mask, without any apparent hole for eyes or mouth, but he found out that he could see and breathe just fine. He was wearing a black scarf on his neck, and yet it did not give him any warmth. Strands of ripped black cloth hung from his shoulders and arms, and on his chest there was the image of a galaxy.

And right in the middle of the galaxy, a large empty spot.

A supergigantic black hole.

Jumping out of the window, he set his eyes on the roof of the school. Oh, it would have been so funny to tear it down.

But annihilating it would be much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be Christmas present! And it will be so angsty!  
> The detail of the supergigantic black hole: yes, there is a massive black hole in the middle of the Milky Way. Its attraction force is what keeps the galaxy from disrupting into a trillion different sub-systems. Some theories says it will end up devouring the entire galaxy. Frankly, since it will happen in something like a trillion of trillions of trillions years, I'm not exactly "directly affected".  
> And now you know why the title is Unsure and Alone. It could have been "Broken", but I think Alone is more poetic and fits better with Adrien's character.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick peer at Black Chaos powers, alongside with the fight itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Black Chaos attacks.  
> Players Alya Cesaire, Nino Lahiffe and Marinette Dupain-Cheng can't declare blockers 'cause they have none.  
> Before calculating the damages, the player Hawk Moth activates Black Chaos's fury effect, giving him a +5/+5 and deathtouch.  
> «Istantaneous», player Adrien Agreste says, drawing a card from his hand.

«Hey!», Alya greeted her best friend as she sat beside her. «I've heard from a birdie you went on a date with no less than Adrien!».

«It wasn't a date!», hurriedly replied Marinette, blushing, before realizing she was speaking far too loud. «We just had a walk!».

«Oh yeah?», snickered the brunette, raising an eyebrow. «And what about the clothes he bought for you?».

«He insisted!».

«Oh, I'm sure he did», grinned Alya, and not for the first time the bluenette asked herself how big her part was in that mess. «It suited you so well».

«You should have seen him».

«I did».

«What?!». For the second time, she forced herself to lower her voice. «What?».

«Do you really think I could just stay at home and wait while you were out on a date with Adrien Agreste?». She laughed. «I took my phone and filmed you all the way back».

«You stalked us?».

«You're so cute when you already say "us"».

«Alya!».

«I did not exactly stalked…». She fell silent as the professor entered the classroom. Marinette threw her a harsh side glance, but did not dare to test the professor's patience so early that morning.

«Good morning, students», Madame Bustier greeted them. «I see Alix's not here. I'll make sure one of you will get her the homework».

«Oh, and I see that Adrien is missing, too». There was a note of disappointment in her voice.

«That's strange. First he sleeps in class, then he's missing». Alya tapped her chin. «He never missed a lesson before».

Nino nodded. «Yes, he is the perfect student».

«Well, maybe it's time to change this». Adrien's voice rang in the silence, empty and cruel. «I see Hawk Moth was right about you».

All the heads turned to the door, and several screams of "Akuma!", echoed in the class as they saw him. Marinette herself covered her mouth in horror. _At least I don't have to fight Adrien. Chat has to_ , she comforted herself.

«Do not worry, you all», nonchalantly said Black Chaos, stepping in the room. «I'm interested in only three of you». His gaze landed on Alya, Nino and Marinette. «Those three».

«However, until Ladybug and Chat Noir arrive, you won't leave the class».

He turned to the three terrified teenagers. «I don't need to be perfect. I will make sure you all learn this».

«But first, I want to show everyone what will happened if someone tries to flee». He gestured them to group in a corner -the farthest from the door-, then he raised his hands and furrowed his eyebrows, concentrating.

The black hole in his chest started to glow, and suddenly the nearby desks and chairs were attracted to it, only to disappear into a flash of energy as soon as they touched it. Annihilated.

The class gasped as they realized it could be their end, too.

_Why is Chat not coming?_ , thought Marinette, clinging to Alya.

«Ladybug will defeat you», claimed the brunette, crossing his arms. «Does Hawk Moth ever learn from the past?».

Black Chaos turned slowly. «Alya. Come over here. Hawk Moth wants to show you something».

She did not move.

«Come here, or you all die».

Unwillingly, she forced herself not to tremble and walked right to him. She couldn't tell if he was grinning or not, but she could almost feel his satisfaction.

«Have you ever studied physics? Particularly, the law of matter continuity?». She shook her head. «It says that matter and energy can't be created or destroyed, but only transformed. Matter into energy, and energy into matter».

She nodded. «I just absorbed part of the energy of the objects I've annihilated. Do you want to try it?».

Silence.

«I'll take that as a yes», he grinned evilly, grabbing her by the neck. «Tell, me, Alya. Am I perfect, now?».

«Adrien, No!!!», both Marinette and Nino screamed as a bolt of black energy flowed through his arm and into her body, flinging her against the wall. She had just the time to scream before she crushed into the wall, sliding to the floor and falling into convulsion thanks to the energy overload in her body.

«Who is next?», asked Black Chaos, evilly landing his eyes on Marinette. No, she had to be the last. He wanted to see her suffer _much_ more. «Nino? Do you want to convince me I can still be good? Or should I call you Bubbler, just like she is Lady WiFi?».

The boy just threw himself at the Akuma, trying to claw at his face, but was swept off his feet in a matter of seconds. Even when akumized, Adrien still was a good fighter.

«Let me remind you how you got akumized», smiled Black Chaos. Oh, spreading doubt and grief was much better than actually inflict pain. It lasted longer. «After seeing how shitty my father was, you turned into the Bubbler to give me a party».

His eyes narrowed as he grabbed Nino by the neck, ready for a second discharge. «You did not try to comfort me. You did not said a word to me. You know, it's partly your fault if I've been akumized now. And so it's partly your fault if Alya's got a shock». With an humourless laugh, he sent the poor boy crashing into the wall near the other brunette.

«And now, Marinette», he said, finally turning to his most precious prey. «Always so kind, always so sweet, always so distant».

She gasped. «You could have tried to help me. Instead, you were just the façade of a friend». She shook her head.

«A-Adrien, p-please, n-no…».

«No?». He laughed. «I'm no more Adrien. I'm Black Chaos. Before I give you what you deserve, let me show you».

«Everyone in this class -except for Chloé and Sabrina- loved you. Because you are kind, sweet, helpful, selfless and altruistic». He scoffed as he crossed the distance between them, grabbed her and dragged her back in the middle of the class to block the exit for the others. «A stupid façade. You never tried to help _me_. You thought I was just fine. Come on, richer than God, son of the owner of one of the most important fashion companies ever, supermodel… How could I be not fine?».

She tried to speak, but his grip on her neck tightened. «You did not care enough to see what there was under _my_ façade. And now you will pay».

  


_«Hawk Moth, not Marinette!», shouted Adrien. «I swear, if you touch her…»._

_«What? You will cry at me?». Hawk Moth snickered, mockingly. «You are powerless»._

_«Get_ out _of my head!»._

_His laughter was so distant. And disheartening._

  


«You are responsible for this, too, Marinette». With a flick of his hand, she joined Alya and Nino in the corner.

«Alya, who cared so much about Marinette, and so much about Nino, and so little about me. I've always been the last wheel of the cart. You know, sometimes I think I've heard more death threats from you than any other sentence». He took a step toward them.

«Nino, who wanted to help me so much that he got akumized. You know, after seeing how my father is, you _could_ have talked to me. You _could_ have realized that what you got -as a stranger- from him once is what I get every day _as his son_ ». Another step.

«Marinette, you are so very helpful to everyone. Everyone except me. You know, it wasn't so hard to see what I had to bear _every. Goddamned. Second_ ». Step.

«And now that I am finally free from that, what do you say? "Akuma!"! "Ladybug will defeat you"! "Adrien, no!"! _"Please"!_ ». He spat, taking another step forward. «No "I'm happy for you". No "Finally you are free". Not even a "Don't worry, Adrien, we will get you back" or a "Hawk Moth is a liar, we can help you _really_ "». Step.

«I'm pretty much sure you all have a big part of fault in this story».

«Your father is guilty, not us!», replied Alya, trying to stand up. «He is the one who hurt you!».

«I don't give a damn about my father!», shouted Black Chaos, enraged. «He ran out of ways to hurt me _years_ ago. He can't take anything else from me! You were the ones who could hurt me, and you did!».

  


_«Black Chaos, listen to me», Adrien begged from the tiny corner of his mind, trying to address directly to his evil part. «Hawk Moth is not going to help you! He will just make it get worse!»._

_«Shut up, Adrien», growled back his dark side. «You tried for years with your way. Now it's time to try mine»._

_«It's not going to work!», shouted Adrien. «How can it work, if it involves hurting the people you love?»._

_«I don't love them! They did this to me!»._

_«I did this! You did!_ We _did!»._

_«This is not a pleasant discussion», grinned Hawk Moth. «Do not listen to him»._

_«Shut up, overgrown bug!», snapped Black Chaos, surprising the other two. «This is a conversation between me and Adrien! I control this body and mind!»._

_As to prove it, the telepathic connection with the supervillain was severed._

_«I won't end up killing myself because of others!»._

_«Black Chaos, you have to understand!». He was pleading. «If you hurt them, it's only going to get worse»._

_«How can it get any worse?»._

_«Everyone will hate us», continued Adrien, seeing a opening in his alter-ego reasoning. «It will be like having a Father for each of our classmates»._

_«I hate Father»._

_«So do I. This is why you have to stop»._

_«They have to pay»._

_«No, please, no!»._

_«Why not?»._

_Adrien took a deep breath. If the connection with Hawk Moth was to be restored, it would have meant the end of Chat Noir and Ladybug._

_He remembered all the happy moments with Alya, Nino and Marinette, he remembered Ladybug, he remembered how heartwarming it was to spend time with them. Every single moment with them was forever printed in his memory, moments far too happy to be even compare to his "family moments" with his father._

_«Because we are going to lose all this»._

  


«Your super saviours aren't coming, I see», snickered Black Chaos. «Maybe you're not worth to be saved…».

«Tell me, I'm curious. How it is to feel not worth to be saved by the ones who save everyone? More specifically, how it is to feel unworthy?».

He growled and sent a bolt of energy to the ground, exploding it and stepping in the burned area. «Every day. Every day I had to feel unworthy. Every day I had to feel my father's disappoint. _Every day_ I looked at the other families and saw warmth, only to look back at mine and see ice. It wasn't my fault, so why had I to be treated like that!? EVERY DAY!».

«Ever since Mother died my father had begun treating me as if I was never good enough, never satisfying». His voice creaked, on the verge of shattering. «For years I had to bear his disappoint. Nothing I did was enough. I always had to do more!».

«But what…», his voice broke, and his knees failed him, making him fall on the ground. «But what is enough?», he finished in a sob, taking his head in his hands.

«I've never been enough, how can I be now if I don't know how much _is_ enough?».

Alya, Nino and Marinette exchanged a glance. This was different from any other Akuma. This Akuma wanted comfort.

«But I got used to it», continued Black Chaos, drying tears they couldn't see. «Until I went to school for the first time. Until I met you three. You were kind, and warm, and _loving_ ».

He clenched his fists, trembling. «And it all fell back on me again. How cold my father was – how cold he had always been. All the feelings I had bottled up and forgotten surfaced again, drowning me, dragging me in the darkness. I wanted to die, to stop this, to finally reach a place where I had not to be perfect».

«And I almost succeeded, but unfortunately the doctors saved me».

The whole class was silent.

«It turned out I was under strict surveillance». He barked out a laugh devoid of any happiness. «I guess I should have expected it, after the first four times».

  


_«You have to stay strong», Adrien encouraged him. «You're doing the right thing»._

_«Then why does it hurt so much?», asked Black Chaos, his voice filled with pain and grief. «Why can't I just let it out?»._

_«It hurts because they are bad memories, and memories we didn't want to share with them. They were secrets». He sighed. «We had to be perfect, so we hid those imperfections deep in our soul, supposedly never to be found again»._

_«Then why it's a pain and not a relief?»._

_«Because we_ still _want to be perfect»._

  


«The scarf… The Akuma is in the scarf».

Nobody moved as he said the last eight words they were expecting from him.

_«What are you doing, Black Chaos?», Hawk Moth shouted. «I control you!»._

«Get lost, Hawk Moth». His hands slowly went to his neck. If only he could strangulate himself…

But before he could remove and rip it, Hawk Moth spoke again.

_«This battle is over, Black Chaos, but the war is still long to come»._

_«Since nor Ladybug nor Chat Noir has appeared, you're useless to me»._

The Akuma in his scarf drew the dark energy away from him, going for the window before anyone could do anything.

Unfortunately, a pencil case closed on it before the evil butterfly could escape. And, holding the pencil case, there was Marinette, her back still on Adrien, stiffly looking out of the window.

_It's over_ , thought Adrien. He would also have smiled, but a hard kick in the face prevented him from doing so.

«You monster!». It was Max. «You were going to kill us all!».

«What did you do to Ladybug?». Kim. «She always saved us, why not this time?».

«Did you trapped her?».

«Did you _killed_ her?».

Along with the accusations, came the blows. Kicks and punches hit all over his body, sending searing pain right to his brain.

He did not scream. _They are right, I deserve this. I wasn't strong enough to deny Hawk Moth. I wasn't good enough._

_Again._

He was relieved went unconsciousness finally took him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, great! I just wrote something so angsty for Christmas.  
> Either I'm evil, or I'm mad.  
> Maybe both.  
> Next chapter is not going to be as heavy as this one… depending on how you see angst. The aftermatch, were you count the losses and mourn the deads, is far more dreadful than the war itself.  
> Because it gives you all the time to think about what you don't want to think about.  
> The beginning notes are inspired from the card game Magic the Gathering, owned by Wizards of the Coast.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long conversation. A deep breath. A complex equation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To complete last chapter notes:  
> Player Adrien turns to face player Hawk Moth.  
> «The Mind is Mine», he declares the name of the card. «This means I gain control of Black Chaos until next turn».  
> Hawk Moth swears and begrudgingly passes the card to him. «Lucky shot».  
> «You mean, Lucky Charm», he corrects with a smirk.

Marinette was in her room with Alya and Nino. Three hours had passed since the doctors had brought the unconscious form of Adrien to the hospital, treating him just like any other Akuma.

If they did, then why couldn't his three best friends do it?

«But why? Why didn't he told us?», blurted out Alya for the umpteenth time. «We would have helped him!».

«Had I known he held such a grudge against us, I would never have even tried to give him a birthday party», grumbled Nino, bracing his legs.

«He did not trust us, after everything we did for him», stated Alya, sighing. «He never showed all this anger before».

«He's to blame, not us», retorted Nino, glancing at the third teenager, who still had not said a word. «He could have told us. We always made it clear that he could tell us everything».

«Why did Ladybug not show up?», continued Alya, with tears in her eyes. «Is she…».

«He brought this on him, it's his fault», hissed Nino.

«He could have avoided this, but he didn't», confirmed Alya.

«Why was he crying?». Marinette was finally heard, her voice so low to be barely above a whisper. «Why did he told us everything he had never told us?».

«He was under Hawk Moth's control, Mari», said Alya, placing her hands over her friend's. «He was not dictating his actions. He was dictating his actions when he let the anger overthrow him».

«He defeated Hawk Moth without help», replied the bluenette. «We did nothing, and yet he won over him».

«Hawk Moth abandoned him», corrected Nino.

«Adrien resisted him!», shouted Marinette, jumping on her feet. «It took him time and strength, but he did it!».

«He wanted to kill us because he never told us how contorted and dark his life is!», retorted Nino.

«He would have killed us!».

«He didn't!», countered Marinette. «He didn't, even if there weren't Chat Noir and Ladybug to help us!».

«He wanted to hurt us! Not his father, _us_!», specified Alya, anger quickly escalating. «Can you explain that?».

«I don't have to. He already did». She embraced herself, as if to shield off her next words. «He said his father already took everything he could from him. He can't be hurt by that man any more. He was hurt because we showed him the warmth he never experienced and then we did not helped him out of his cold house. How can you blame him for being helpless?».

«Well, Mari, let's put it this way, then», continued Nino. «Both Alya and I were akumized for pretty much stupid reasons. He knew what happened to us for such small reasons, he should have known better than hiding such a thing».

«This is what I can't understand», admitted Marinette. «Why did he not asked for help?».

There was a long silence between them before Alya spoke again.

«Maybe you are right, Mari», she said. The bluenette's eyes lit up. «But right now, I can't forgive him so easily. Maybe with time…».

«I don't think I will ever forgive him», asserted Nino. «He had the chance to get out of his stupid personal hell, and he did not take it. If he expects us to pay him a visit to tell him that we are sorry and let him cry on our shoulders, he can wait forever».

«Alya, Nino…».

«No, Mari», sighed Nino. «I've known Adrien for so long… What he said is true. His father is the coldest person I've ever met. You can't even image how shitty he treats Adrien».

He took a deep breath. «But this goes too far. I thought Adrien would have been smart enough to avoid any akumization. We all know how Akumas work. Letting himself dwell into those thoughts long enough for an Akuma to strike? It looks like intentional to me».

«He would never do that!», exclaimed Marinette, horrified.

«The worst part is that he fought Hawk Moth off», he continued, swiping sweat off his forehead. «Nobody had ever been able to do that. The moment before he is all cocky and bad and evil, and the moment after he is crying. Aren't you suspicious? Hawk Moth never let go of someone».

Marinette and Alya stared at him, anticipating his next words.

«It looked like Hawk Moth let him go», finished Nino. «Like he was an ally».

«Nino, you were akumized in a matter of seconds, for experiencing something he feels every day». The bluenette took a deep breath. «I'm surprised he actually resisted until now».

«Mari, if Hawk Moth turned _us_ into powerful villains», argued Nino, not giving up. «How much powerful do you think he was, drawing his strength from such a deep feeling? If the power is related with the depth of our emotions, his power had to be huge…».

«He was probably powerful enough to defeat Ladybug», guessed Alya. He nodded.

«I won't say I'm not scared. I am. I'm scared to be in the same city as a villain so powerful to be able to take down our superheroes…».

«Adrien's no villain!», cried Marinette, slapping her hand on the chaise. «He defeated a villain!».

«Marinette, you have never been akumized». Alya's voice was serious and grave. «There's a thought that remains in your head forever after. You can't get rid of it, because it's an idea that haunts you».

The bluenette stared at her.

«What if it happens again?».

«What do you mean?».

«I mean that every Akuma victim dreads the day where they will be turned into monsters again. You can't understand how it is to get angry for something -anything- and waking up hours later, with someone telling you you've destroyed half a city». She sighed and passed her hands through her hair. «Every time I get angry I fear I will see a black butterfly again, and I will become Lady WiFi again».

«I've never used bubbles again after becoming the Bubbler», admitted Nino, shaking his head. «When I think I was going to kill every adult in the city, even my own parents… Yes, I dread the day where I'll hear Hawk Moth's voice again».

«Had Adrien been akumized for a bad grade, or a photoshoot gone wrong, now we would be talking it out with him, reassuring him it's all okay, that even if it looks like the end of the world he would go through it…». She sighed again. «Had Adrien been something like the other Akumas, it would have been different. But Black Chaos… it was different. He was _powerful_ , Mari».

«When he destroyed the desks, I thought it was the end», admitted the boy, looking out of the window. «I thought he would destroy us as well».

«What you can't understand, Mari, is _what if he becomes Black Chaos again?_ ». She let her words fall in the silence. «I've never heard of such a powerful Akuma. He blasted us with bolts of energy! Now I discover that Adrien is the Akuma I've always feared».

«Differently from all the others, I know Ladybug has her limits», she added, catching Marinette's attention. «She is brave and strong, but she is human. I have recorded basically every Akuma attack. I've seen her in trouble several times. Yes, she always won, but Black Chaos is simply too powerful. He's more powerful than the other Akumas».

«I never mention Chat Noir, but he is with Ladybug all the time. He knows her better than anyone else, this is clear. I've seen him sacrificing his life to save her. I've seen him desperate. I've seen him with no hope left». She groaned. «And even if he pretends to think she's perfect, I know he knows -just like me- that she has her limits! I've seen the worried looks on his face every time Ladybug went too near her limits. He knows that every time could be the last. I think that's why he's such a flirt. He fear it could be the last time».

Marinette was fully listening now.

«He would agree with me», she continued. «Even if he hasn't seen Black Chaos, he would agree with me. Even if he looks sometimes reckless, sometimes overprotective, I know that he can be serious. He would not be ashamed to admit they can't take on such an Akuma».

«Alya, they faced countless Akumas before. What makes you think this one is different?». The words burned in Marinette's memory as she repeated them. It had been just three days, but it felt years. «The scarf was the Akuma. They would have identified it and removed it».

«This Akuma was different because the amount of emotions behind it was massive!», retorted Nino, taking part in the conversation again. «It's no more about being annoyed by the adults. It's about have an entire _life_ to complain about!».

He took a deep breath. «Mari, I know, just like Alya, that this is not Adrien's fault. But I can't avoid fearing him. I'm scared. Hell, I'm terrified. We were locked in a classroom with _something_ that had the destructive power of a black hole added to the fire power of a blast cannon». He pressed the word "something". He knew it would have made a better impact than "someone". «Hawk Moth could akumize him again. God, when I was saved, I calmed down and forgave the adults. But Adrien did not change. He's still got inside him what drove him crazy. What could drive him crazy again. I don't want to face Black Chaos again».

«The fact that Ladybug did not show up can mean only one thing», said Alya, rubbing her friend's arm. «Since Black Chaos did not gloat about killing her, this meant she was scared. Or that she knew she couldn't take him on».

«The Pharaoh almost sacrificed you, Alya», retorted Marinette. «This is not the first time you end up in danger».

In that moment, a red light washed over them, removing every bruise from their body and leaving them with a feeling of well-being. She knew that light far too well to be mistaken.

Miraculous Ladybug's.

  


«Kid, I'm sorry…».

«No, Plagg, don't be». Adrien slowly lowered on the chair, his ring back in its place on his finger. «You were right. This had just been the price for my understanding».

«I shouldn't have been so harsh».

«You had to in order for me to understand», he simply replied. «Now I understand. I never thought much on my actions. As Adrien, there was always someone else telling me what to do. As Chat Noir, Ladybug had always kept me in line with her».

«Now I see that I have to start using my head for what it has been given to me for». He sighed. «Thinking».

«Adrien…». Tikki's voice was small and bashful. «Would you let me help you?».

«Mmh?». He stared at the small Kwami as she grabbed the Ladybug's earrings and shoved one in Plagg's hands.

«Put those one on and use Ladybug's Miraculous healing powers. It will help you, and it will make everyone think Ladybug's not dead».

«What about Marinette?».

Tikki sighed. «You will visit her as Chat later. Explain her you used it with my permission to clean out the damages».

«But the Miraculous restores only what has been damaged by the Akuma». He winced. «I wasn't».

«The Miraculous's powers are mostly unknown to humans. Not even I fully know how they work. Trust me and try».

«But my ears aren't pierced».

The Kwami exchanged a look. «We thought you should take her place just the same, for some time. You know, patrolling as Chat Noir and cleansing the Akumas as Ladybug, so you would have to do it just the same».

«Also», added Plagg. «With everything you've been through, this shouldn't hurt so much».

Adrien sighed and nodded. «But I'm not the Chosen».

«Hawk Moth is not the chosen, either, and yet he uses the Butterfly powers», shrugged Plagg. «Also, in your case you really have the Kwami permission. This makes you kind of a chosen».

He nodded again and closed his eyes and the two gods put her earrings on. The pain wasn't even that much. His legs ached more. His arms ached more. Hell, his chest ached far more, just like his face.

«What's the magic command?».

  


The three teenagers fell silent as the light disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

«Well, at least Ladybug's not dead», sighed Alya, falling back on the bed.

«It's still something», muttered Nino, sitting back on the floor.

Only Marinette remained silent and on her feet.

_It's not possible, how could this be happening?_

Then a terrible thought appeared to her.

_Chat wasn't there because he was busy finding another Ladybug. And now she is fixing everything_ . She felt a sting of jealousy. Now he wouldn't be her  _Chaton_ any more. Maybe he would even fawn after the new Ladybug.

_Who knows, maybe she will like him, and he will be happy with her_ . Somehow, the thought did not made her feel happy for him. It made her scowl and sit on her chair with crossed arms.  _Maybe he will flirt with her like he was used doing with me. Maybe she will even scratch his ears, and he will purr_ . He tried to get rid of the thought. It was stupid -if not cruel- wishing to be the only girl in Chat's life. Yet, she still felt a bit betrayed.

_Only I can scratch his ears_ , she hissed in her mind.  _And he purrs only to me_ .

After a few minutes of silence, they heard a soft thump on the roof. They had barely time to glance at each other before a tall, black figure jumped on the window sill. They were so taken aback that both Alya and Nino stumbled and fell -even if Nino was already sitting on the floor-, while Marinette just gasped. She searched for a dotted red figure behind the boy, but she could see none. The thought made her grin and blush at the same time.

However, both disappeared as he saw Chat's grave expression.

«May I enter?». His voice was serious and humourless. She could count on her fingers the times he had been so serious. Half of them were in the last four days. «We need to talk».

She nodded, being the house owner, suddenly noticing how his human ears had been recently pierced, even if there were no earrings. She kept her questions for herself as Chat stepped in the room.

«First of all, I'm sorry I didn't come to face this Akuma», he said, tilting his head to each of them in turn. «But, differently from the rest, there was no screaming until minutes before the end. I could not even get to the school in time. And since my main informant, the Ladyblog, was inactive, I did not come fast enough».

«Second, I'm sorry it took so long to repair the damage. I've heard you trapped the Akuma, Marinette. Would you mind giving it to me? Thanks». He took a deep breath.

«You three were the only ones who were injured. This is strange. Normally, an Akuma destroys everything on his path until it arrives to its target. This time the Akuma focused on you». His eyes stopped on Marinette a second too long. «If you have any question, it's time for you to ask them. I won't be able to tell you everything, but I could tell you something».

«Still, this conversation must not end up entirely on the Ladyblog. Parts of it must remain a secret between us».

«Then why are you telling us?».

«I just guessed that being the targets of such a strange Akuma with no Ladybug or Chat Noir to help you could be hard», he said, a hint of teasing back in his voice. «I thought you wanted answers. But if you don't, I'll be on my way».

«Is Ladybug dead?».

«No», he immediately replied. «But we made a deal».

«What deal?».

«I can't tell».

«Very well, then». Alya was nothing near angry. It was natural he couldn't tell. «We were discussing on this Akuma».

Chat nodded, a grief flashing briefly in his eyes.

«Was it really more powerful than the others?».

Chat sighed. «Yes».

«How do you know, if you weren't there?», inquired Marinette. _Not Chat, please not Chat too._

«Once, I asked my Kwami the most difficult equation he ever stumbled upon. He said it was how to calculate an Akuma's power. He told me, but since I understood really nothing he simplified it in another equation, a much simpler one, that could approximately get you the answer». He sighed. «I've done this for Adrien too. That's how I know it».

«But this must not leave this room. If Hawk Moth discover this, he will start searching only for the most powerful Akuma».

«I swear this will stay between us», immediately said Alya, her loyalty winning over the journalist in her.

«I swear, too».

«I swear».

«But can you tell us this equation?», continued Alya, excited.

Chat sighed. «Give something to write on and a pen».

  
(((pM/4r) * (11t/3)) / ((10r/3) / (3pM/25))) + ((log(45w/6)) / 2) = p

 

«I know this looks terribly complex, but you must understand that it is complex». He took a deep breath, an echo of a smirk playing on his lips as he noticed their dumbfounded expressions.

«The constant _pM_ is the power of the Butterfly Miraculous. Even if I still don't know its value, comparing with other Akumas helped me figuring out its range of possibilities».

«The independent variable _r_ is the resistance of the victim. As you can see, its resistance make it weaker».

«The variable _t_ is the time. The more time it pass, the stronger the Akuma gets, because the more control Hawk Moth gets».

«And the variable _p_ is the effective power of the Akuma».

«You did not mentioned the _w_ », noticed Marinette, pointing to the accused variable.

Chat sighed. «The _w_ is the most precarious variable here. Its value is calculated from the willpower of the victim. If it's really low, the Akuma is stronger because the _w_ becomes Hawk Moth's will».

«But if the victim's willpower is stronger than Hawk Moth's the Akuma grows more powerful». He stopped. «Actually, much more powerful».

«WHAT?». Alya, Nino and Marinette jumped on their feet.

«I'm sorry to have upset you, but you asked».

«May I write this down?», asked Alya, eagerly.

«I fear not», replied Chat, crumbling the paper in his hand and pocketing it.

«Very well», repeated Alya, rubbing her hands together. «Can you calculate an Akuma's powers? I mean, not its strength, really its _powers_ ».

He looked at her for a very long second. «Approximately», he finally said.

«How?».

«It depends on their motivations and akumized objects».

«I want to know which were Adrien's full powers».

Marinette winced. She didn't want to know. Yet, Chat's reply surprised her.

«Adrien's? Nothing». He grimaced. «Black Chaos? That's another thing».

«He was Black Chaos».

«Would you be happy to be called Lady WiFi?».

«…No».

Marinette thanked Chat with a grateful glance, but she froze as she saw his eyes.

He was going to announce bad news.

«Black Chaos's powers were great», he said. «I can't be sure of the true range of possibilities until I know his motivations. You were there: why was he akumized?».

  


_«This isn't good, Adrien», Plagg voice echoed in his head._

_«Plagg!». He was taken aback.«How did you…»._

_«Tikki and I joined our powers to create a telepathic connection with you»._

_«I never thought you could do it»._

_«Me alone? No». He snickered. «Tikki and me? Sure»._

_«Back to the point, why shouldn't this be good?»._

_«You are going to listen to what you've done. Are you sure you can handle it?»._

_«I've got you on my side, now». He smiled. «And Tikki»._

  


«…so, now that you know, can you tell us what could have been Black Chaos's powers?».

«Alya, it's not necessary to…».

«No, Mari, it is». The brunette returned to Chat. «So?».

«I need to think», he mumbled. «This is about as simple as the other equation».

«Is it an equation?».

«More like a system of inequalities, each of which defining a possible power». He groaned. «A huge system of inequalities».

«Can you tell us some of its answers?».

«As you already know, he could attract objects to his chest and annihilate them. He could also use part of the energy to blast it out at his will».

«What you don't know is that he probably had something like an aura of dread».

The three civilians exchanged a glance.

«His motivations, plus the fact that he did not kill you straight away, could mean he wanted you to understand first. This can bring to an aura of bad feelings, to make you feel what he felt. From what you told me, probably dread. Not fear. Not panic. Dread. Dread paralyses just like terror, it's much more subdue and it lasts longer».

«I can't solve every inequality without tons of paper», he continued. «But it's clear this Akuma was way more powerful than the average».

«What makes you think so?».

«His will was stronger than Hawk Moth. He was doing whatever he wanted, not what _he_ told him to do». He paused. «That's why Hawk Moth left him. And following the first equation, if his will is so strong, the Akuma becomes very strong as well».

«Chat».

«Yes, Marinette?».

«Do you…». She looked right in his eyes. «Do you think Adrien is to blame?». There was an edge of desperation in her voice. He had to be careful with his answer, because it was going to have a great impact on her.

A huge impact. She looked so vulnerable now, a plea in her eyes and trembling. She was begging him not to let her fall. If only he could know how to prevent that fall…

«I don't know», he finally said, tearing his gaze away from hers. «Akumas aren't blameable for what they did. Surely Adrien is not to blame for Black Chaos's actions».

Marinette's eyes lit up and she shot him a grateful smile. But he was not done yet.

«This is sure. Adrien's no Black Chaos», he continued. «It's Black Chaos that is part of Adrien. Every Akuma is part of the victim. Hawk Moth negotiates with that part and forces it to obey him, but this part is really present. Everyone has a dark side, where he secretly hides from time to time».

He had their complete attention. Nino and Alya had been akumized, too. He was speaking about them too.

«If this part is not faced, it grows. The more you try to ignore your dark side, the more powerful it becomes. Adrien's dark side was powerful, I can assure you». He rubbed his eyes. «Saying that Hawk Moth turned him into Black Chaos is wrong. Saying that Hawk Moth handed the control over to Black Chaos and enhanced his body with his magic is much more fitting».

«Are you saying Adrien's always got this inside him?», bewildered asked Nino.

«Everyone one of us has a dark side. Even I do». He glanced at the bluenette. «And Marinette, too. It's not something you can just avoid».

«Then why didn't _we_ become monsters?».

Chat flinched. «As I said, if you face your dark side, if you push it back, it will remain weak. But if you ignore it…».

«Adrien said he had always been forced to be perfect», suddenly said Marinette. «He had to ignore his dark side in order to appear perfect».

A heavy sigh later, Chat continued. «Adrien is not to blame for what he did as Black Chaos», he repeated. «This does not cover what he did when he wasn't».

«What do you mean?». The pleading was back in her voice and eyes. «You… You think he's to blame because he suffered?».

«He can't be blamed for what his father did to him. He had no power about it». Chat suddenly looked so very tired. «The answer you're searching for is the same of another question».

«Did he really have the chance to choose?».

«What's that supposed to mean?», snorted Alya, disappointed. «Yes or no?».

«You have to decide this». Chat stood up, towering over them all. «If you think he really could have done something about it, then he _is_ to blame for what he did, or rather did not. If you think he had no control over what was going on, then he had no control over his transformation too, and he's not to blame».

«Now I have to go».

Without another word, he jumped out of the window.

  


_«Kid?»._

_«Yes, Plagg?»._

_«I never told you any Akuma-calculating equation or inequality system»._

_«I know». He mentally smirked. «I made it up from scratch»._

_«Good job». Plagg voice was mischievous. «You went pretty near the true equation»._

_«WHAT?!»._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Long chapter.  
> Actually, it's about the length of a chapter of a book I'm writing, so it's really long.  
> And heavy.  
> And angsty.  
> But my heart was warmed by the times I had to write about Marinette defending Adrien.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mass reaction. No wait, class reaction...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the early update but tomorrow I gotta drive my sister to the airport (that is 3 hours from my house), so I wouldn't have been able to update normally.  
> However, I hope you won't mind.

After Chat Noir left, the room fell back in the silence.

Alya was continuously rubbing her eyes, as if trying to get rid of a pestering dream, not caring of just achieving more redness in them. Her shoulder were slumped, as if carrying a great weight, and time and again she sighed, looking out of the window as if Chat was going to return at any second.

Nino was silently sitting on the floor, oblivious to the uncomfortable position he was in, embracing his legs at his chest. Every little while he let out a frustrated sigh and shook his head, as if trying to forget what had just happened.

Marinette was sitting on her chair, with a strong need to cry but an even stronger resolution not to. Her eyes continuously darted between Alya and Nino, briefly reading their expressions before sliding back to the other. She had never stopped embracing herself, and now her grip was even tighter.

Chat's word were exactly what she had expected them to be, even if they weren't what she had irrationally hoped.

In her mind, she replayed his voice without interruption. There was something she was missing, she knew it, but without her Kwami she couldn't be sure of what was it.

_«Was it really more powerful than the others?»._

_«Yes»._

_«But if the victim's willpower is stronger than Hawk Moth's the Akuma grows more powerful. Actually, much more powerful»_

_«I want to know what were Adrien's full powers»._

_«Adrien? Nothing. Black Chaos? That's another thing»._

_«His motivations plus the fact he didn't kill you straight away, could mean he wanted you to understand first»._

_«His will was stronger than Hawk Moth. He was doing whatever he wanted, not what he told him to do. That's why Hawk Moth left him. And following the first equation, if his will is so strong, the Akuma becomes very strong as well»._

_«Do you think Adrien is to blame?»._

_«Sure, Adrien's no Black Chaos»._

_«It's Black Chaos that is a part of Adrien»._

She shook her head. _If only Tikki could be here…_

But she wasn't, and she had to do it all by herself.

«Nino? Alya?».

The two raised their heads.

«You heard Chat». They nodded. «We have to decide if he is to blame or not».

«I…». Nino sighed. «Chat Noir made me think, Mari. I was wrong when I said he was an ally of Hawk Moth. I was so wrong». She beamed at him. Finally some understanding.

«No, he was no ally of his», he repeated. «Chat Noir said his will was stronger. He took the control back from Hawk Moth». Marinette could barely contain her gratefulness. Those were the words he wanted to hear.

« _He_ was controlling Black Chaos when he flung us against the wall». He sighed, «Adrien did it».

Marinette felt dread in her heart.

«Chat said his will was more powerful, so he was controlling his body». He paused. «Well, not him, but his dark side. Black Chaos is a part of Adrien, and Black Chaos wanted to kill us, Mari».

«Nino…».

«No, Mari». Alya's voice was shaking. «I would never have believed you, had you told me Adrien could be like this, even just yesterday. But today… I saw what he is truly».

«You heard Chat, everyone has a dark side!».

«Marinette, I'm sure even Hawk Moth is not evil distillate. He has a huge dark side and a small good side, yet he is a villain». She groaned. «Adrien's dark side is simply too much. You can take the Bubbler out of Nino and you can take Lady WiFi out of me, but you can't take something so evil out of Adrien».

«You didn't even tried!».

«You saw what he did!», shouted Nino, leaping on his feet. «God damn me, I'm scared, Mari. Those were the scariest ten minutes of my life! That… that _thing_ was the scariest thing in my life! And now Chat Noir confirms my fears, that he _is_ the most powerful Akuma ever, that he _did_ it on purpose because he won over Hawk Moth, that he _did_ wanted to kill us! Hell, he planned this! He did not arise screams until the end! Ladybug and Chat Noir couldn't even arrive in time!».

«What if he does it again? And this time, doesn't stop?».

«Then you won't even try?», hissed Marinette, anger slowly building up. Everything she had passed in the last few days coagulated in that single burning moment. «You give up of your best friend when he most needs you?».

They gasped in unison. «Mari…».

«He won over Hawk Moth. Chat said he probably wanted us to _understand_ ». She scoffed. «Well, surely it's not we are doing».

«Call me a coward, if you want», moaned Nino. «But first I want to see how is Adrien reacting all this. If he really looks changed, then there's hope, but he is just the same as before, then we can't do anything about it».

«God, Marinette, he kept this from us since the first day we met!».

«So what are you going to do?», snarled the bluenette, huffing. «Blame him?».

«When he will come back to school, we will observe», countered Alya. «Chat is right. We first have to decide if he had control over it or not».

«He had no control!».

«You can't be sure».

«I know him!».

«You _think_ you know him!», finally snapped Alya. «What happened today reveals that we knew nothing but an illusion of Adrien. He is not what his father wants him to be. He is not the face you see when he models. He is not the boy we thought we knew!».

«I want to know who or what is he».

There was a brief silence.

«Then I guess we have nothing to talk about any more».

  


«What now, kid?». Plagg hovered next to his face, poking him on the forehead. «You heard yourself. You have to decide if you had control over it or not».

«I…». He sighed. «I'm not sure».

«What do you mean by that?».

«I mean I need time to think».

The Kwamis looked at him. «If this is really what you want, then you will have it», finally said Tikki. «But now, do you want to know the true expression?».

«Expression?».

«The Akuma-power calculating equation».

He stared at them for a couple of seconds. «You weren't joking? There's really an equation?».

«Kid, there's an equation for almost everything», chuckled Plagg, lowering on the desk. «It's just that this equation is much simpler than yours».

«What is it?».

«The power of the Butterfly Miraculous times the depth of the causing emotions, all divided by the resistance of the victim, and then all at the power of the will of the controlling entity».

In short words, this: [(BM * emotions) / resistance] ^ w.

How underwhelming.

«Just that?».

«Hey kid, when I calculated this, physics was not even born yet».

The three laughed heartily, Adrien still not sure of their honesty. After a moment, however, they returned serious.

«Are you ready to go to school, Adrien?».

«Not quite», he admitted. «But I have to».

«Why?».

«I think I owe them an apology».

The Kwamis exchanged a second look.

«What?».

«Then I think it would be better for you to remove Marinette's earrings», snickered Plagg.

«Oh».

  


The school had been restored by the Ladybug Miraculous's powers, and showed no sign of his passage. The desks were intact, and there was no burned spot on the floor. Many students did not recognize him as Black Chaos -only his classmates did, after all, because he told them. His suit did not show much- and some of them remembered he had been hospitalized, and asked him if he was all right.

Of course the answer was "quite all right". Of course the true answer would have been "not at all".

He reached the class first, sitting at his usual place in the first row, and waited for his classmates. First came in Max and Kim, throwing him a worried glance but not saying a word.

Second, and much worse, cam Nino with Alya and Marinette. Without saying a word, he passed Adrien and sat with the two girls -even if there was place only for two of them- behind him, grumbling something that sounded awfully close to "chaos".

Slowly, the class filled up with people rummaging through their stuff and murmuring under their breaths. Even if he tried to avoid overhearing the conversations, the subject was far too clear. His had been the first akumization where nor Ladybug nor Chat Noir had appeared.

As the professor entered the room, all the students fell silent. She took a couple of minutes to put down her material before sitting at her desk. For ten agonizing seconds, she just looked at the class, the silence so thick it could have been cut with a knife. Then, slowly, a voice came from the back, insecure and low, but a voice nonetheless.

«Madame Bustier?».

«Yes, Kim?». Even her voice gave off a feeling of tiredness.

«I-I wanted to s-say something», he stammered, glancing out of the window. «T-To Adrien».

A collective gasp greeted his words.

«Go on, Kim».

«I…». He finally tore his gaze from the window and faced Adrien, even arriving to stand up and walk down to him. «I'm sorry for what I did. It wasn't you, it was an Akuma, just like it wasn't me, but Dark Cupid».

Adrien stared at him speechless.

«When nor Ladybug nor Chat Noir showed up I…». He sighed. «I guess I panicked. I'm so sorry. Instead of helping you up, I kicked you and accused you».

«It's no problem», mechanically replied Adrien, not even believing his own words.

«I… just wanted you to know I'm sorry». Said so, he turned and walked back to his chair, letting out a deep sigh.

«I'm sorry, too». Max stood up, apparently encouraged by his classmate's apology. «You were there for me after I became the Gamer. I should have been there for you».

«It's no problem, now it's all okay».

«Yeah, we should have behave differently», added Alix, glancing at Max.

«We were scared».

«Ladybug wasn't there».

«We were scared».

«I'm sorry».

In a matter of a few minutes, all the class except for three had apologized.

Except Nino, Alya and Marinette.

He lowered his head again, returning to stare at his desk without seeing it, his thoughts far away in space and time, in days where Ladybug was Ladybug, Marinette was Marinette and he wasn't Black Chaos.

Sounds of steps made him raise his head again.

«A-Adrien?». It was Marinette.

«Mmh?».

«Do you…». She bit her lower lip and tried in vain to relax. «Would you mind if I seat here?».

His head jerked back up, staring at her, bewildered. Did she just asked to sit by his side, after what he had done to her and her friends?

«Uh?».

She lowered her eyes and bit her lip harder. «Since Nino went over there…».

Of course. She had come only because Nino had taken her seat. «Yes, take it».

She sat in silence for the rest of the lesson, throwing him furtive glances while she thought he wasn't looking, sometimes turning to frown at Alya and Nino -probably for forcing her to sit beside someone who wanted to kill her- and occasionally taking notes on the ongoing lesson.

Not a word.

Not a direct glance.

Not a sign.

Nothing.

_Perfect_ , groaned Adrien.  _I've just alienated the one I'm supposed to help and support_ .

_«Kid, you need support now, and you had never been supposed to do anything»_ . Plagg's voice rang in his head, remembering him of their psychical connection.

_«She did not say a word»._

_«And so? You didn't either. Maybe she thinks you don't want her to speak up»_ . Plagg was pushed aside by another entity.  _«And even if you're right, you can always help her as Chat Noir»_ .

_«It would be kind of sneaky»_ .

_«Why?»_ . The Kwami laughed.  _«Adrien, you forget you_ are _Chat Noir. It's not like tricking her»_ .

_«She doesn't know I am»_ .

_«Come on, let's make a deal»_ , continued Tikki.  _«You help her as Chat, and you let her help you as Adrien»_ .

_«What if she doesn't want to help me?»_ .

_«I know her»_ .

_«You can't know her well enough to be sure»_ .

_«Adrien»_ . There was a hint of Alya in the Kwami's voice.

«Adrien, are you listening?». Madame Bustier's severe voice tore him from his thoughts.

«Not entirely», he honestly replied, rubbing his eyes to wake up a bit more.

«Then I suggest you to, because I won't tolerate any further distraction».

He mumbled in response, dropping his head again. Basically no one was listening, he could afford to ignore her warning. Also, he already knew what she was teaching, and he couldn't care less.

« _Mr Agreste_ ».

«Yes, professor?».

«I said listen».

«I am».

A brief scoff later, the lesson continued.

  


«Why in the world did you sit with him?». Nino was already out of himself in rage when the lunch bell rang. «What were you thinking?».

«Everyone apologized only because they feared he could turn into Black Chaos again and this time they would all be targets». Marinette's voice was full of spite. «They did it to save their ass just in case it happens again».

«They are careful».

«They are  _cruel!_ », she retorted, stamping her foot. «I did what we all should have done!».

«What? Overcrowding the first row?». He snickered. «Or staying completely silent?».

«Can't you understand how he must be feeling?», she hissed between her teeth. «His akumized self attacked us! Don't you remember Black Chaos's words? _We are what he cares about most in this world!_ ».

«Great way of showing it», muttered Alya. «Electrocuting us».

«He must be feeling horrible! How did _you_ feel, after returning normal?».

Silence.

«You said you wanted to know how is he doing», continued Marinette, undeterred. «Now you know: he's doing terribly. He's suffering for what he had no control about».

«That's why I didn't want to sit by his side, today», mumbled Nino, barely audible. «He's still thinking about it. He's doing the right thing, if he wants to be akumized again».

«Did you expected him to be sorry and then back to happy in no time?». She was honestly surprised. «Did you really think it would be so easy? You were right, we're not talking about being pissed off by the adults, it about having his entire life ruined by his God damned father!».

«Two more reasons to leave him alone», replied Alya. «First, this is something we can't change. God, he attempted _suicide_ after meeting us! What are we supposed to do? We can't do anything!».

«And second», continued Nino. «We can't reason with his father».

«I didn't…». She snarled in frustration. «His father's not a problem! It's us we have to do something about!».

«And how are we supposed to do it?».

«I don't know!». Marinette was near tears. «It's just… It happened so fast… The day before he was fine, the day after Hawk Moth akumized him… It's just so fast…».

«Marinette». Nino's voice was comforting. «Don't worry. It's hard on all of us. You're not the only one…».

«I know!». All her frustration was replaced by irritation. «It's hard on Adrien, too! Surely it's not hard on you, who just stand by and do nothing while it's obvious you should!».

«I think I know what I _should_ do», snorted Nino, his voice back to hard. «Think of my safety. Mine and my friends'».

«Oh, come on, are you telling me you're turning your back on him?». Marinette spun on her heels to face Nino. «He's the same Adrien as before. What has changed, in him?».

«Well, maybe that HE TRIED TO KILL US?!». Nino stamped his foot on the floor, the noise echoing across the hall and making many students turn. «THAT'S WHAT HAS CHANGED!».

«I do not recall him treating you like that after you became the Bubbler, Nino». Her voice was ice.

«Mari, can't you get it?». Alya interrupted the two, stepping between them. «Ladybug was there to save Nino and me when we were akumized, but she wasn't there to save Adrien. I told you, she was scared. If this is going to happen again, we will be on our own again».

«Do you really think that Ladybug would leave us alone?», hissed Marinette. «She, and Chat Noir?».

«Think, Mari». Alya looked tired. «If they die, Hawk Moth gets their Miraculouses. Their lives are more important than others'. They have to look after themselves, because if they die Hawk Moth will be unstoppable. Now, even if this would break their hearts, they would _have to_ leave us on our own. You heard Chat: Black Chaos was no average Akuma».

«Chat is always ready to take the hit for Ladybug: he would do it for us, too», pointed out the bluenette. «Also, Ladybug's power summons an object that literally lets her solve the problem. _Any_ problem».

«Not when the problem is a cackling black hole».

«He wasn't cackling».

«It doesn't matter».

«It does!».

«How so?».

As Marinette opened her mouth to reply -and probably reply something childish- when Adrien walked past them, his eyes darting toward them before gluing back to the floor. He did not gave any other sign of having acknowledged their presence and quietly headed for the school exit.

«See? He's not changed», blurted out Nino. «Actually, I think he deserves this after what he did».

Marinette gasped and turned toward the boy to shoot him an angry retort, to shout at him how blind and dumb he was being, but a movement caught her attention. Or rather, a lack of movement, followed by a sudden sprint.

Adrien had stiffened for a second before running out of the school.

«I swear, if he gets in trouble, I will blame _you_ », she hissed before turning to follow the blonde.

Behind her, both brunettes were still and silent, looks of shame on both their face. Shame mixed with anger and irritation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If someone's got great insight and imagination, he/she can guess what's coming up for the next chapter.  
> Also, I'm sorry for not yet speaking about Marinette's personal problem, but first I have to define Adrien's.  
> Don't worry, Marinette will have her problems. She will.  
> Even if this isn't exactly nice to say.  
> Next chapter will have some A-problems and some M-problems, if I write it long enough.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And... it's problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but my family's phone SIM has expired (I was using the phone as WiFi router) and the public library opened today.  
> Sorry yes sorry.  
> Here's the chapter.

Adrien stopped only when he reached a dark, narrow alley, where he slumped against the wall and slid to the floor.

«Kid? Are you all right?». Plagg.

«Adrien, what's wrong?». Tikki.

«I… I think I may be going to be akumized again», panted the boy, glancing around nervously, fully expecting to see a fluttering black butterfly coming his way.

«Kid, you're overthinking this. First, you were akumized _yesterday_ », replied the black Kwami, relaxing. «It's unlikely for anyone to be akumized twice in such a small amount of time».

«Yeah, but I bet Hawk Moth would really like a round two with me». He let out a nervous laugh. «Probably he's been keeping both eyes on me since yesterday».

«His Miraculous can't go on forever without recharging», snorted Plagg, hovering next to his face. «And he's still human. Whoever he is under that mask, he still needs to eat and sleep. And probably to keep up the façade of a normal civilian life».

«Yes, but I wouldn't be surprised to discover he's holding a grudge on me».

«Oh, yes, of course he is», snickered Plagg. Both Adrien and Tikki turned. «Since the moment he stole the Butterfly Miraculous, nobody has ever been able to resist him. You and Ladybug _did_ beat him every time one of his villains showed his ugly face. But _you_ , a normal civilian for all he knows, threw him out of your mind! And still kept his powers. He must have been fuming in anger!».

«Yeah, maybe he even akumized himself», muttered Adrien, even so slightly amused.

«I bet he wanted to», grinned Plagg. «Just like I bet there's no Akuma coming for you. Maybe only a certain blue-haired girl that casually happens to be coming this way at full speed. Bye!».

Without a further word, the black Kwami took Tikki by the tiny arm and flew into his shirt. Adrien looked up just in time to see Marinette approaching running, coming to a halt not even two meters away. She stumbled on some piece of trash -an empty bottle- and readily fell face-first on the ground.

Or rather, she was going to fall face-first on the ground, but Adrien basically leapt to catch her before she could hit the ground. It was supposed to be a smooth movement, followed by a concerned question of "Are you all right?" and then by another smooth movement to release her.

Nothing of this really happened. He _did_ leap two meters in slightly more than a second -he was an incredible fencer, after all-, and he _did_ caught her in mid-air, preventing her from falling. But he also _did_ stumble on another piece of junk -or maybe the very same as Marinette- and he _did_ lose his stability as she crashed into him. The force of the impact -Hell, she was running pretty fast- knocked the air out of their lungs, and since he had already lost his balance, losing oxygen was too much, making him stagger backwards before unceremoniously falling to the ground.

As an experienced fencer _and_ superhero, he softened the fall as much as he could, embracing Marinette to prevent her from taking any harm from the hit. In the end, he managed to get just a bruise and to emit just a groan.

«Marinette? You okay?». He flinched as his back reminded him he had still fallen on the hard ground _without_ his superhero super suit. He scrambled to sit straight, taking notice of the fact that Marinette was heavier than she looked. «I'm sorry, I guess I lost my balance».

She mumbled something in his shirt before pressing her palms on his chest to pull herself up. «Nothing to be sorry about, I…».

And then she noticed she was sitting right in his lap, her hands on his chest and their faces just a few inches apart.

«I-I s-s-stum-ble a-a-all t-t-the t-t-t-time», she finished with something that really resemble a squeal before hiding her blushing face back in his shirt.

For the second time, she realized what she was doing a second too late, but she did not get time to embarrass herself even more as Adrien spoke, still not letting her go nor getting up.

«Why are you here?».

«That w-what I'm asking m-myself I-I s-s-shouldn't b-be s-sitting on y-y-you!».

«Actually, I meant why did you go after me?». The question took her by surprise and made her think.

_Did he really just asked why I should care about him when he was in such a mood in class?_

For the first time ever, she asked herself if he was dumb or what.

She decided for "what".

«I just thought you needed help», she shrugged. Both of them failed to notice she wasn't stammering any more. Hers was almost a business voice. «Maybe some talk».

«So why didn't you speak during the lesson?».

«I…». She frowned. «Well, surely you did not look like you wanted me to».

«Surely you _did_ looked like I was going to jump on you at any moment»

Wait. Were they… bantering?

«Well, if you think you're better off alone, then I'll get going». She pushed him away and stood up, silently watching him. «Are you better off alone?».

He glanced at her. Surely he would have liked some company, but was he ready for company? Especially, _her_ company?

«I… need some time to think. Alone». His eyes found hers. «When I will have sorted everything out… maybe I'll use some talk».

«Well, then I hope you will think quickly, because lunchtime's over and class is waiting». She turned and walked away.

_Class is waiting_ . He unconsciously shivered.

«Plagg, have you ever heard the saying "If you think to something all the time, you will get nothing out of it, but if you let your mind be taken by other thoughts, the first answer will come naturally to you"?».

«Many times», replied both Kwamis in unison.

  


«Sweetheart, you're early», her mother said as soon as she arrived home. «School's not supposed to end for other two hours».

«They cancelled the lessons», shrugged Marinette. «I guess that even with Ladybug's magical healing, nothing can heal the shock of having a supervillain attack during class».

«Are you all right?».

«Mama, you asked me yesterday. If I was all right then, how can I be not all right?».

«And… Adrien?». Her mother's voice was concerned.

«He's… I thought he'd confused and scared from what happened, but he just seemed sad. And surely he did not looked confused».

«Is that good?». She almost laughed. Sometimes even the adults had to rely on her insight.

«I don't know for sure but… I think it's better than confused. At least he knows what happened».

«You mean… he remembers what he did?».

Marinette stopped halfway up the stairs and bit her lip. «He did not mention it, but he's too _knowing_ not to know. I mean, having the whole class afraid of him for something he doesn't remember would confuse him, but he looked… I don't know… _knowing_ ».

«Are you sure he's not dangerous?».

«Mama, not you too!».

«Sweetheart, I trust you», replied Sabine. «But I need to know. Do you _really_ think he's harmless?».

She took a deep breath. «I… If I get to talk to him soon, maybe I will be able to help him out of this. If I don't… I think Hawk Moth _could_ akumize him again».

«Please, don't ask me to leave him on his own».

Sabine's eyes fixed in her blue ones. After a long moment, she sighed. «I guess it's like driving. You're safe until the car accident happens. In your case, you're safe until he gets carried away by his emotions».

«Mama…».

«I won't forbid you to help him», continued the woman. «But _please_ , Mari, be careful».

She nodded once and took a step up the stairs before changing her mind and running back to hug her mother.

«Thank you Mama».

  


She was awakened by a tapping sound. She had fallen asleep over her last design sketches, almost half an hour ago. She had wisely decided to change into her pyjama beforehand, so to avoid having to change while sleepy. She stirred, stifling a yawn as she stood up, still arching her back as if to make it snap in two.

The tapping sound repeated, louder this time. She glanced around to see what in the world had awakened her in the dead of night -it was nine pm, actually, but she wasn't pleased just the same-, rubbing her tired eyes. She checked her entire room, but nothing in it could have made the sound – especially not twice.

It repeated again, inducing her to turn to shoot an angry glance at the window.

Where Chat Noir was sitting, waving at her.

_Oh God_ .

«Chat? What are you doing here?».

He smiled at her, then he pointed to his ear -his human ear- and shook his head. Snorting, she moved to the window and opened it, greeting the superhero with a sharp «What do you want?».

He pretended to flinch. «Is visiting a friend to be considered a crime, now, Princess?».

She rolled her eyes. «I'm not a princess, and surely I'm not _your_ princess».

He dropped in the room, taking a look all around. «First, one of the synonymous of "princess" is "noble", and noble can also mean "kind, good and pure hearted"», he pointed out, turning to her again. «And second, you can refuse the nickname, but it's up to me to decide if you're my Princess or not».

He smirked. «Also, I never said you were _my_ Princess, but if you insist…».

«Chat!».

He laughed. «Yes, _Mari_? I didn't know we were close enough to call each other by short name!».

She huffed and scowled at him, yet she felt somehow comforted. At least, he wasn't on the verge of tears like the first time.

«By fact I'm not calling you by short name. I'm calling you by short superhero name».

«No difference», shrugged Chat.

«Big difference», she retorted, crossing her arms.

They stared at each other for a second before bursting into laughters, both equally surprised by the other's identical response.

«So… May I call you Chat, then?», asked Marinette, smirking.

«You can call me anything», he chuckled. «Except everything that involves "stray" or any other insult».

«So stray kitty is not possible?», she pouted.

«Uhm…». He tapped his chin as he hummed thoughtfully. «I guess I can stand it».

«What about the no-stray rule?».

«Well, I think that being called "kitty" makes up for that». He smirked. «Also, the fact I'm a stray could bring to you _adopting_ me… And that is interesting».

She opened her mouth to reply, but a sudden thought struck her. It was a silly thought, but it still found its way to her synapses.

_We don't have spare rooms. He would have to sleep in my room… again._

She recalled how warm his embrace was. She had never slept in someone's arms -of course she hadn't-, but she definitely liked it. At least for the warmth. She remembered how he had held her. Tightly, but always gently, keeping her close without making her uncomfortable. _Very_ close.

She remained like that, mouth open, unfocused eyes and an increasing blush creeping up her cheeks.

Suddenly self-conscious, Chat brought his hand to the back of his neck and smiled embarrassed. «I… I was just joking… Ehm…».

«Stray kitty?», she repeated, fixing her eyes into his.

His embarrass tripled, but he nodded slowly, with a smile that was almost hopeful. «Uh… y-yes?».

She slowly started to smile, bashfully at first but more sincerely as he started to smile too. The blush decreased a bit, just slightly colouring her cheeks.

«Very well… kitty», she chuckled. «I was really looking forward for a visit, even if I can't say I was expecting you tonight».

«That's wonderful, Princess», responded Chat, leaping forwards and sneaking an arm around her waist, pulling her toward her chair. «But I think you should first listen to me for a bit».

«Mmh?». She let him guide her to the chair and sat.

«About Ladybug».

She immediately lost her smile. Her eyebrows furrowed and a look of concern and sadness appeared in her eyes. She bit her lip as she asked «What about her? I… I guess you found another Ladybug… right?».

His gaze pierced her. «How do you know?».

«I… Well… The light…?».

He sighed. «Yes, the light. I should have been expecting that».

«So… you found someone?».

He couldn't tell her straight away. He had to bring her to the answer slowly, because even if she was Ladybug -and so had the right to know-, he had to treat her as a civilian, now.

«Mmh… Yeah, I think I found someone…».

«Is the new Ladybug… a girl?». Now, why in the world had she asked right _that_ question.

He stared at her, eyebrows furrowing in a puzzled expression, before slowly breaking into a grin. «A girl?».

«Y-Yes».

He laughed heartily. «Why are you so interested in the new Ladybug's gender?».

Marinette blushed. Time and again. «Just curiosity».

He sighed and leant against the wall. «Maybe it's a girl», he chuckled softly.

«That's bad…». She caught herself as he raised an eyebrow. «I mean, it would be better for two males to be in the team, so you can understand each other better, or at least I think so…».

«I'm not sure someone will ever be able to understand me like my lady did», he simply stated, completely honest.

«I'm sure someone will», sighed Marinette, lowering her eyes and staring at the floor.

«Do you want to be the lucky one?», he teased her, leaving the wall to approach her. «Mmh?».

She tried to laugh off his advances, but she found out she couldn't. Yes, he was joking and teasing her, but she couldn't get rid of his last sentence.

_I'm not sure someone will ever be able to understand me like my lady_ .

She tried to lean back from Chat as he slowly closed the distance, but she didn't want to appear unkind. He had just been joking. Why was she making such a fuss over it?

«I…».

«So, Mari?».

«Have you been flirting with her just like you did with the old Ladybug, and now you're doing with me?». The question could have been a very embarrassing one, if the voice had been slightly less firm.

«No».

«Seriously?». She gave a nervous laugh. «I can't image you not fawning after the new Ladybug».

His pupils became slits. «Oh yeah?».

Suddenly he appeared _way_ more dangerous than he had ever appeared to her, _way_ more dangerous than any Akuma. She felt a dry lump in her throat as she saw his ears flatten on his head and his tail halt as if preying. «Chat…».

«Did you really think I would treat a new Ladybug like my lady only because she is a superhero? No, my lady was special not because she was a superhero, but because of the person she was», he hissed, stepping neared and almost grazing her with his arm as he leant on her desk. «She was special because she was brave. She was selfless. She was clever. And, yes, I can't say she wasn't amazingly beautiful».

He chuckled before continuing. «You know, I used to be _in love_ with Ladybug».

Marinette gasped as her eyes met his and saw the truth in them.

«She always rejected me, but I _was_ in love with her. I did not idolize her like many others did. They put her on a pedestal to admire her. I would have treated her like the amazing, wonderful, _normal_ person she was».

«You… are in love with Ladybug?».

«No», he smiled sadly. «And yes. I mean, I still love her, but I realized that she is not the only girl on the planet. Maybe I will find someone else».

«You were in love with Ladybug?».

He chuckled. «Why does this interest you so much?».

«I…».

«Maybe for the same reason for which you asked about the new Ladybug?».

«I…».

«Maybe for the same reason your blogger friend is always at my heels to ask me the questions Ladybug wouldn't have answered?».

«I…». He had crossed the distance between them and was now hovering on her.

«Maybe for the very same reason for which you let me in your room?».

She failed to respond. She had never realized how charismatic and _intimidating_ could Chat be. As long as she had been on the receiving end of puns and jokes -and now that she thought about it, he had not uttered a single pun since he entered the room-, she had always seen only the light-hearted part of him. She knew this was just a spark of the real menacing potential of the superhero of Destruction, and suddenly she understood why people spoke so rarely about Chat, even if many were crushing on him.

It wasn't just because it was Ladybug that cleansed the Akumas. It was also because Cataclysm and his black-clad owner were scary.

«Curious about my Lady?». He was giving her an escape way purposefully, she knew it. He had gotten what he wanted and now he was letting her go.

The proud part of her protested at being offered the easy way, but the girl was still grateful to him.

Yet he did not moved, still _inches_ away from her.

«So? Were you curious?». He wanted her to say so.

«Y-Yes, that's it, I was c-curious».

«Then I guess you won't like it when I will tell you I did not choose another Ladybug».

She started to nod, just to satisfy him, when she register the sentence. She darted up, crashing into him and sending them both to the floor, all at the startled yelp of «WHAT!?».

He started to laugh, not even trying to get up, and rolled on his back to look at her through half-lidded eyes. «Nope!».

«WHAT!?».

His laughter faded slowly, letting him stand and compose himself. «There is no new superhero in Paris».

«How…». Realization struck her suddenly, and she glanced at him to confirm her guess. «You're the new Ladybug?».

«Well, I _could_ have lied when I said it was a girl», he smirked. «And, yes, I am the new Ladybug. This just means I did not find another Chosen yet, so I'm using it to purify Akuma and restore damages».

«How can you use it, if you're not the Chosen?».

«Well, Hawk Moth is not the Chosen, too», replied Chat, scratching the back of his head. «Also, I'm using it for good, so it's fine even if I'm not a Chosen».

She sighed. Of course Tikki would have let him use the Miraculous. «That's why your ears are pierced».

«Yep».

«Aren't you afraid to be all on your own?».

«Yep, but I have my Princess smothering my fear».

She was suddenly well aware of his arms as he sneaked them around her waist, drawing her closer. Before she could even protest, her cheek was pressed against the cold leather of his suit. She flinched the contact. His suit was really freezing cold.

Freezing cold?

«Chat? Are you okay?», she asked, her voice concerned. «Why are you as cold as ice?».

He did not make any attempt to avoid her feeling the cold leather, and shrugged. «Outside it's not as cosy and comfortable as here». He was still holding her close.

Unconsciously, he shivered, and Marinette realize he had probably been shivering since the moment he entered, if not since the moment he started to patrol – given that he was out on patrol.

«Chat, you must be freezing», she scolded him. «Why didn't you tell me? I'll go get you something warm».

«Do you have… Ehm… M-Milk?», he asked embarrassed. «Warm milk?».

She looked at him with unbelieving eyes before bursting into laughters. «Milk? What else? A soft pillow and petting?».

His reaction made her fall off in laughters. _He had nodded!_ Still shamefully, but he had nodded.

She giggled a bit more before climbing down the stairs. «Wait here, kitty».

«Marinette!», he called her, making her halt in mid-step. «No more "stray"? You really adopted me!».

She snorted and rolled her eyes, letting a large grin reach her face only after disappearing from his sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT WARNING:  
> my personal life is getting busier. I'm now downloading a program I need to apply for a job, I'm currently writing the fourteenth chapter of a book I'm writing (ugh, repetition) and I also have to babysit my little brother.  
> So this fic is gonna slow down.  
> No more three-days updates (bye-bye, favourite number...). When I finish a chapter, I publish it is the new rule. This can mean one or three or thirty days. I'm sorry, but Life calls.  
> However I'd like to thank all the commenters, because I loved answering their comments!  
> Thanks1


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And for once, we can say: "Chat, you Adrien is showing".  
> The same Adrien who's got Black Chaos's as favourite phone number.  
> The doubtful one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank all the commenters.  
> Just one thing. If someone's really not got time, it's okay, but if he/she is got time, I beg him/her to try to write it in the smoothest English he can muster, because even if my English is good, I'm not a native speaker and I have a really hard time with every slang-using comment.  
> That being said, I'm elated. I'm gonna become comment-addicted.  
> And here's -hic- the chapter!

Marinette came back just a few minutes later, the time for the milk to warm up and for her to fetch a hot chocolate for herself, and she found her room devoid of anything that could even resemble of Chat Noir.

He had gone.

Then he emerged from the shadows of a corner, his usual smirk playing on his lips. «I wasn't expecting you back so soon, Princess».

«Why were you there?», she asked, placing the two steaming mugs on her desk.

«Well, I thought that it wouldn't have been very good for your parents to catch me in your room, at night», he snickered. «So I hid».

«Here's your _milk_ , anyway». She gestured towards his mug, sitting on her chair. «Do you have anything else to tell me?».

«I don't think so», he shrugged, taking a sip of the milk. «Do you?».

«Yes».

«Speak up, then».

«I'd like to ask you…». She stopped and started all anew. «I _beg_ you to make a public statement».

«Mmh?», he hummed, questioningly.

«About Adrien».

He choked on his milk, coughing for several seconds before finally croaking out a bewildered «What!?».

«Please, tell everyone that he is innocent», she continued. «He is a victim of Hawk Moth, not his accomplice!».

«It wouldn't change anything».

«It would!».

«It wouldn't!».

« _It would!_ ».

«IT WOULDN'T!», he shouted, his ears flattening against his head. Marinette shied away from the enraged boy. «People see what they want to see! It has always been like this!».

He let himself fall on the floor, suddenly looking tired and defeated. «I'm not Ladybug».

Marinette was struck by his words. She didn't fully understand what he meant, but she knew they held something bad. «W-What do you mean?».

«They would have listened to her», he sighed. «I alone can't persuade them».

«Why?».

He laughed humourlessly. «Would you rather listen to someone whose magical power solves the situation and heals everyone, or to someone whose magical power is a touch of pure destruction?».

«Chat, this is not true!», she protested. «Paris loves you!».

«No, it doesn't!», he retorted, angry again. «Paris loves Ladybug! I'm just her scary sidekick, a _monster_ she had tamed!».

Shocked silence followed his words.

  


_«So this is what is nagging at you». Plagg._

_«Not now, Plagg…»._

_«Oh yes, right now. Either now, or as soon as you reach home». Small pause. «The second option is available only if now you cool off»._

  


«C-Chat…».

«I'm sorry, Mari», he blurted out. «I know what you're going to say. It's just…».

He took a deep breath. «Ladybug had always been the one to come up with a plan. She had always been the one to actually defeat the Akuma. She had never been frozen in time, or mind-controlled, or _anything_ ». He clenched his hands into fists for a second before loosening them again. «It had always been me to mess things up».

«Chat, there are lots, no _mountains_ , of proofs that she needed you!». She grabbed him by the shoulders. «I… She couldn't have won any of those Akumas without you! Just look at the Ladyblog: there are lots of videos! Just pick one and see for yourself!».

«I did». He freed himself from her grip and walked right to her computer. «May I show you?».

Wordlessly, she set on the device and waited for him to reach the webpage he was searching for.

The Ladyblog.

He chose a post and scrolled down to the comments without even glancing at the video. Finally finding the one he wanted, he just pointed to a four-lines comment.

**Im** **the o** **ln** **y 1 to thin** **k tha Cat Noir is shit? I write my opinion on te so-called superhearo, and I wantd to shar it wit evry1, but I aslo wanted to get replys on this comment. This is the adress to my post:** **https://www.thetruthonladybugandchatnoir.wordpress.com/Is-Chat-Noir-a-pile-of-shit?-I-** **t** **hink-** **h** **e-** **i** **s**

Marinette narrowed her eyes and took a mental note of flaying alive whoever had written the comment under the username of "DarksteelInvincibleKnight". She right-clicked the link and opened it on a new tab, while slyly reaching for her phone. Alya would hear an earful for letting such a jerk write such a comment.

«Look for yourself», said Chat, stepping back and letting her see the screen completely.

_Is Chat Noir a pile of shit? I think he is_

_Just in case you are visiting the blog "The Truth about Ladybug and Chat Noir" for the first time, let me sum everything up for you in a few lines._

_Paris is an extremely lucky city because even if it's plagued by the supervillain Hawk Moth (see section **Enemies** , under the name of **Hawk Moth** ), it is also defended by the duo of the superheroes **Ladybug** and **Chat Noir** , who had been protecting Paris for over a year now._

_However, I have noticed that only one of the two can actually be called a "superhero": Ladybug. She purifies the Akuma and releases wise declarations for media and newspapers, and she's also the one behind Chat Noir. She's his partner and friend, but is this it? Or there is more, a dark side of the black hero that we are not allowed to see?_

_We all know what Cataclysm does. It can get handy, but there's a crucial detail: Lucky Charm literally generates the object that can defeat the Akuma. If the other superhero has such a power, why should Chat Noir have such a less-efficient looking power?_

_And the answer is in his dark side._

_Chat Noir isn't a superhero. He is a villain just like Hawk Moth, perhaps weaker, and that's why his power is creating havoc and devastation. He's kind of a demon, whose purpose was to destroy Paris, if not the world._

_But before he could do it, he had to defeat the competition. In his case, Hawk Moth, who is much stronger than he is. So Chat Noir sealed a deal with Ladybug in order to win over his rival and take his place as supervillain of Paris._

_If we think about it, who is the one who has to plan how to defeat the Akuma? Ladybug, because Chat Noir is a demon._

_Who is the one who actually wins over the Akuma? Ladybug, because Chat Noir is a demon._

_Who is the one who had fallen under the control of not just one, but three different Akumas? Chat Noir, because he has no gain in saving Paris' citizens._

_He wants to kill Hawk Moth, not to fight his Akumas._

_This explains why does he have a destructive power. And why is he the one who always does the least to save the citizens._

_Someone can argue that he saved Ladybug. Of course. She's the only one he cares about: if she dies, who will help him defeat his rival?_

_Please comment this post. My mission is to erase the word "ignorance" from this topic, and so the more understand, the more I'm happy._

  


She didn't know what to say. Oh, she knew really well what to _do_ : she only had to sort out if flaying the author alive and then feeding him to the goats after covering him with salt or if slowly impaling him on a pike and then leave his butchered corpse as a warning for other ignorants little brats.

But it was more important, now, to remove any trace of it from Chat's mind.

So she just took four minutes for herself before turning to talk to Chat. Those four minutes she used to write and send a flaming comment to DarksteelInvincibleKnight who, when he saw it the day after, shivered and ran in his bed for cover, jumping school for two days before being finally able to look in someone else's eyes.

Because Marinette knew how to be evil, when she wanted to. She had just wrote him that she had showed the article to Chat and he had said he would have paid him a visit. It wasn't such a menacing message.

However, there were more important things to do.

«Chat, every single word in that page is shit», she stated, leaving no space for doubt. «And about the author, he's a mountain of shit, a mountain three times the Everest».

He chuckled once, dryly. «That's a lot of shit. Strange, I've never seen it around. Maybe he's not as shitty as you think».

«He is», said Marinette. «However, do you want someone else to confirm it?».

«There's just you, here».

«Hold on for a second». She raised her phone and typed Alya's number. Oh God, the reported was going to have a really bad night, probably haunted by nightmares.

No, Marinette would have never done that. Maybe some steel-infused words would have been enough.

_"Alya Cesaire"._

«Hey, Alya». Her voice was warm, her anger hidden below the surface. «I just wanted to tell you something».

_"Is it about Adrien? Because if it is, I'm gonna hang up"._

«It's about Chat Noir, the Ladyblog and your awful work as moderator».

_"Girl, I know you're mad at me because of Adrien, but it's not an excuse for insulting the work of my life"._

«Oh yes? Visit your blog. Video on Timebreaker. Comment two-three-eight, by DarkstellInvincibleKnight, subject: Chat Noir».

_"Hold on"._

There was a long pause, then…

_"Jerk"._

She had read the comment.

_"Mari, I'm sorry, I missed…"._

«Take a look at his page».

This time, her silence was interrupted by not-so-whispered curses and insults.

_"That asshole. I'm gonna kick his butt out of my blog, I swear..."._

_"Shit"._

_"It's not his only comment"._

«How do you know?».

_"The little asshole subscribed, and I've got a little program a friend of mine made me that can search for all the comments of a user, if I know the username"._

_"This jackass made three-sixty-one comments"._

«Really a good job, Alya». Marinette remembered how Alya had treated Adrien, and her anger steeled her voice. «Do you want to tell me you missed the other three hundreds sixty comments, too?».

_"I'm sorry, Mari, you know I would never let anyone write things like…"._

_"Shit"._

_"His comments got more than ten thousands likes"._

_"I have to make a call"._

«Why?».

_"I want my friend to upgrade the program so it can also finds all the ones who put a like on those shits"._

_"And then I'll kick them all out"._

_"And then I'll make a post where I'll explain why I did it"._

_"And then I'll make another one to tell the truth about Chat Noir"._

The line went dead.

«Convinced?», she said, turning to Chat.

He mumbled something, but it was a weak protest and he knew it.

«Convinced?».

Another mumble.

« _Convinced, Chat Noir?_ ».

«I guess so», he grumbled, taking a sip of milk and so finally emptying the mug.

«What does Paris think of you?».

«Really bad, if he's got a thousand likes».

A few seconds of typing.

«Alya, I want you to tell me how many thumbs down that jerk got».

_"Why?"._

«Just tell me».

After messing a bit more with her program, the reporter answer was clear.

_"Around three-nine-five thousands dislikes"._

Marinette cut the call.

«Told you».

He snorted.

«I want you to say it», she smirked. «Come on».

«I guess you were right».

«Louder».

«I guess you were right».

«Louder».

«I GUESS YOU WERE RIGHT!».

She grinned.

«Sweetheart, are you okay?». Her mother. _Shit_.

She ran to the stairs. «I'm perfectly fine, thanks!», she called back.

Then she felt a cold wind on her back and she knew that Chat had hit the road.

Or rather the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's short.  
> I hope next won't be written after midnight like this one.  
> Again, whoever has something to say, please say it. I love answering comments.  
> And if you notice something off with grammar, events or story, I beg you to report it. Those are the best comments to reply to.  
> The jackass username refers to the card game Magic the Gathering. (again).  
> In the game, the Darksteel is an indestructible steel.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plagg gives up a scolding.  
> Adrien proves again that he can't write in slang, nor he knows the important of brevity.  
> Gabriel Agreste proves he's a bastard.  
> Hawk Moth proves he was really holding a grudge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> public class Truth {  
>  public static void getWhoIsAnAsshole() {  
>  System.out.println("Gabriel Agreste");  
>  }  
> }  
> (yeah, I also love programming, and believe me when I say that I really wrote this program).

«Okay, Plagg», sighed Adrien, collapsing on his desk's chair. «You said we needed to talk».

«It seems you don't need it any more», replied the Kwami, quietly offering a piece of Camembert to Tikki, who firmly refused it. «Blue Hair told you everything you need to know».

«Are you giving up a scolding?», he asked, bewildered. «Plagg, are you okay? Do you need more cheese?».

«More would be appreciated, but I'm perfectly fine and healthy, both physically and psychically», retorted the black god, crossing his paws. «I'm not giving up anything. It's just that Marinette _did_ really say all what was necessary. Now it's up to you to decide if believing her or not».

Adrien sighed, slumping again. «I don't know. I mean, I know she's right, but I can't get the doubt out of my mind…».

«Then you're fretting over bullshit».

Two human and two Kwami eyes shot up on Plagg. «What do you mean?».

«Everyone has doubts. Every time I choose someone to be the next Chat Noir I'm assaulted by the doubt that maybe I chose wrong and I created a villain». The Kwami returned to his wheel of stinky cheese. «Doubts are part of life, especially for you mortals. Your life is so short that you fear to do something wrong and then not have time to fix it. You let the doubts ruin your life».

«But if _I_ do something wrong now, all Paris will suffer», argued Adrien. «And what if I mess up…».

«Ehm-ehm». The Kwami cleared his throat before floating up in the air with an air of importance and solemnly quoted «"We faced countless Akumas before. What makes you think that this one would make you a bad _Chat Noir_?"».

«That's not strictly fair».

«Being the God of Destruction comes with advantages», shrugged Plagg, hovering next to his face. «Just keep in mind that, and you'll be fine».

«But now I don't have Ladybug -Marinette- to help me».

«But you do have two Kwamis to teach you and scold you after you misbehave».

His smirk was met by a glare.

«However, kid, I wanted to talk you about something else, too». He fixed his eyes in the blonde's. «Black Chaos».

Adrien groaned.

«I must say that I'm impressed, and I'm proud of you».

Adrien groaned again, then registered the sentence and choked on thin air, wide-eyed staring at the Kwami. «W-What?».

«I'm proud of you», repeated Plagg. «You beat Hawk Moth, and stopped your evil self from hurting your friends».

«But I did hurt them…». The Kwami waved it aside with a scoff.

«Hurt? Nah. You scared their souls out of them». His eyes narrowed. «And you made them think».

«Is that good or bad?».

«Absolutely bad on short terms». Groan. «But it could make them far wiser than they are now within some time».

«But what about Black Chaos? I mean», he added, anticipating the reply. «What should I do with him… with _me_? I said terrible things while akumized, I can't even forgive myself, how can I expect them to?».

«I have to point out two things», said the Kwami, yawning. It was ten pm, after all. «First, if they think about it, they'll see that Black Chaos said bullshit. Especially about Marinette. Am I right?».

«I guess so». _How many times do I have to say it, tonight?_

«As usual», he gloated. «And second, how can you be mad at yourself for being desperate? I didn't see Alya, or Nino, being so concerned after returning normal. I mean, everything was all right, why should have they worried?».

«I'm not Alya or Nino», he growled, stubbornly.

«Thanks God you're not!», exclaimed Plagg. Then, noticing his glare, he hurried to add: «I mean, they can be okay as people, but there's a reason for why I chose you as my Chosen, you know? I did not chose you just for fun, or because you could afford Camembert».

«Ah, no?».

«Actually, I can feed on almost every kind of cheese. Once I chose an Italian as Chat Noir. He was called Gatto Nero -that means black cat, by the way- and he fed me for ten years only with Gorgonzola».

«What's Gorgozola?», asked Tikki, fearing the answer.

«It's a cheese», gleefully said Plagg. «It's not as good as Camembert, but it has a very strong taste».

«Yeah, it's rotten». At the Kwami's glare, he shrugged. «It's true. They actually let mould grow on it to strengthen the savour. In case you hadn't notice, the green thing on it is mould».

Plagg looked quite green, now, but he managed not to throw up. Even he had limits.

«However, as I was saying, you defeated -no, better, you convinced- your dark side. You made it join you and force Hawk Moth off your body. Do you remember Black Chaos saying anything just before the Akuma flew away?».

«No». His tone was pensive. «It had been quite silent».

«Maybe I'm wrong, but it would be almost the first time», mumbled Plagg. «I think you and Black Chaos had become one person again. Not two different entities working together, but a real person. That is good».

«Do you think this is why he was silent?».

«Ninety percent sure, and ten percent fervently hoping», he confirmed. «But now it's time for you to sleep. You have school, tomorrow».

  


Marinette arrived to school already in a bad mood. In the anger of the outrage at someone insulting her partner -well, ex-partner, actually-, she had forgotten her request to make a statement, and now that she thought about it, he had never replied. So it meant no statement.

Added to this was that her worry for both Adrien and Chat had given her bad and scary dreams all night long. Yet, she had been strangely comforted by the last dream.

A dream where she was leading them out of a dark maze, but they were just one person, continually shifting from Chat to Adrien, until the maze ended and the sudden light had awoken her.

At six am. Just her luck.

When she reached the classroom, however, she had managed to get a ten-minutes delay, something the professor didn't spare to remind her.

But when she turned to take her seat, she froze at the sight of Nino sitting right beside Adrien, the seat she had in mind to take.

«Nino?».

«Miss Dupain-Cheng, please sit».

«What are you doing?».

«Miss Dupain-…».

«Nino?».

Seeing it was useless to shut her up, Madame Bustier gestured the boy to reply. She also tried to add a gesture of "reply quickly so I can start", but by the worried look of his face, it appeared more like a gesture of "quick, reply and tell the truth, or I'll give you the lowest grade you've ever seen".

«Well, I…».

«You what?».

«I think I was wrong», he sighed. «Adrien's innocent and I've been a true jerk».

«We have been assholes», added Alya from a row behind.

«Dumbasses, too», continued Nino. «I mean, Adrien did not stopped to sit by my side when I became the Bubbler, so why should I do it now? Also, Ladybug fixed everything».

Doubtful glare.

«Her healing power also removed any trace of static electricity from Alya's and my bodies».

Slightly less doubtful.

«Even if I'd hoped she wouldn't have restored my desk and chair, so I could have got an excuse not to study».

Faintest hint of the faintest of smiles, but still a hint.

Glare from the professor.

«It's okay». It was Adrien, his voice low but steady. Yet, he didn't raise his head from what he was writing. «It's no big deal».

Doubt came back in Marinette's mind and eyes, but she forced herself to walk right to Alya and take out her stuff.

When she raised her eyes from her bag, not just a shred of paper, but an entire page was waiting for her, while Alya kept her preying eyes fixed on it.

It was from Adrien.

_**I'm sorry for yesterday.** _

_**I don't think I'm ready to talk, but maybe I am to text.** _

_**I'll pass you my number later. If you still want, of course. If you don't, just crumble this now and don't bother reading more.** _

_Bother?_ , she thought, surprised.  _Boy, you are far from bothering me by asking for help. You are worrying me_ .

_**I want you to know that Black Chaos lied about you. About you all, but especially about you. Don't ever think you haven't changed my world. You, Alya and Nino. You were ready to change the world for me, it's just that I never let you see when you had to.** _

_**It's not true that you were distant. You just didn't know. Just like it's not true that Alya did not care about me or that Nino did not try to comfort me. Actually, in that occasion it was me that turned down his apologies.** _

Part of her couldn't believe he was apologizing for something he did and said while enraged _and_ mind-controlled by his dark side. Part of her was angry that she had looked as if he had to apology. Part of her was so very glad that he didn't really think those things.

And part of her was dying to get his number, so to sort this mess out with him.

«Adrien's going to give me his number, so we can text later», she whispered to Alya, who gave her a tired thumbs up.

«What made you two change your mind?».

«We thought about our own Akumization experiences», she answered. «And then we received a message from an unknown number, who said to be Ladybug. She said she was disappointed by how cruelling we were behaving, and asked us what would we have done if our friends had started fearing and despising us after Lady WiFi and Bubbler».

Marinette blinked.

«That's it. We thought and we decided». She sighed. «I'm sorry, Mari».

«You should tell this to Adrien», she snapped. «But how it have been Ladybug's number? I mean, nobody saw Ladybug yesterday, so she can't have used her yo-yo in phone mode. And I doubt she would use her civilian phone. A number can lead to the user».

«Yep, but the number cancelled itself from the memory the moment we read the message», said Alya. «Probably she used Lucky Charm not to be triangulated out».

«Only police can triangulate out a phone, Alya, and I don't think the police would do it for Ladybug».

«I think they would».

«Nonetheless, I seriously doubt…». Then she stopped. _Chat Noir_ was Ladybug, now. Maybe he had done something? «I doubt this matters», she finished quickly. «You should talk to Adrien».

«I already did, just like Nino». She dared a glance at the two boys in the row before hers. They were chatting on some new videogame Nino wanted Adrien to try. The conversation looked a bit forced, but it was a good start. A damn good start. «We arrived to school at seven, today. We couldn't sleep. And Adrien arrived shortly after». She sighed. «It went quite smoothly, I have to say. We said we were sorry and he just said it was okay and he just needed time».

She let out a humourless laugh. «After all, who doesn't need time after being turned into a murderous villain willing to kill his friends?».

«So, what now?».

  


«Hey, Adrien, may we have a word?». Nino put a hand on the blonde's shoulder, preventing him from leaving.

«I guess so…». He had flinched slightly at the unexpected -and maybe even unwanted- contact, but he was pulling off his hand and that was good.

«Would you…». He gave an uncertain look at the girls right behind them. «Would you like to hang out with us, this afternoon? Three forty, Parc du Révolution».

«If you want, of course, we don't want to force you…».

Something in Marinette's mind told her to stop Alya immediately, because by saying they didn't want to force him, it was like implying they were hoping he wouldn't come.

«Alya's j-joking», she said, only the faintest stammering in her voice. «We _do_ w-want to force y-you».

What normally would have been met by a cocked eyebrow and an amused expression was instead met by a furrowing of eyebrows and a slightly scared expression.

«I'm joking, too», she hastily added, knowing that no help was coming from the dumbstruck Alya and Nino. «We would really like you to come because we miss you but we would never force anyone especially our _friends_ ».

All without stammering. Yes, a bit messy, but steady. Wow, she was getting better.

«A-At three?», he asked, still holding back a little. _Of course. As far as he knows, I'm_ not _having private talks with Chat about him_. Sweet irony.

«T-Three forty», she confirmed, nodding.

«I-I… I-I may… I can… s-see if I-I…». His brain finally gave him a whole sentence to breath out. «I-If my father lets me».

«Come on, why shouldn't he? You hung out with us before and you will in future times, why should today be different?». Of course, akumization wasn't "different".

«I… I'll let you know».

And then he walked away.

«You two should go, too», said Marinette. «I'm gonna need some time to prepare».

«What do you have in mind?».

«Just something». She smirked. «I did _not_ trash that dress, you know? Actually, it's partially thanks to you I have it now».

And then she walked away too, leaving Alya with her jaw on the floor, her brain probably refusing to accept the fact that her formerly shy friend was going to wear something she could only describe as God-damnedly _hot_. Maybe even sexy.

And she was _Marinette._

  


«No». Gabriel Agreste's voice was firm, cold and severe. No firmer, colder or more severe than in any other moment, though. «You can't go».

«Father, I owe them», tried to politely protest Adrien. «I almost killed them two days ago. I have to explain myself».

«As much as you can think you need friendships, the truth is that friends are useless, and you are wasting your time with them». He looked down at the boy. «Miss Sancoeur is arranging your new schedule. From now on, you will attend other two courses. But, since I see how my answer is bothering you, I'll let you choose which two among the list Miss Sancoeur wrote for you. You will find it in your room, next to the blue scarf, on the table. Now I have business to attend. Regards, Son». And without another word, he was gone.

Adrien ran in his room, trying to conceal his tears from Nathalie when he met her in a corridor. She had called after him not to run in the house, but the boy hadn't minded. In that particular moment, he wouldn't have given a damn about anything.

He rushed to the table where the list of his next possible courses was. Or rather, the list of his next possible prisons. Knowing his father, it would have meant at least other six hours a week of lessons. As if he hadn't enough already.

What he failed to notice was that he hadn't left the scarf on the table, but in the wardrobe, and yet there it was, mocking him with its mere presence. A gift stolen from a friend who he would have been elated to receive it from, by a man who had never given a damn about his own son.

However, he dutifully read the list, quickly checking out the two he was interested in. One was a martial art course, the other was a medieval fencing course. He didn't know how medieval and modern fencing could be different, being both fencing, but if he was going to be on his own -as Chat- for a while, he needed to be in top shape. If he really had to keep those lessons, at the very least his superhero work would improve.

«Kid, take the ring off, now!». Plagg's voice was commanding, so commanding that he slid the ring off his hand before he could even register the sentence.

When he did, the Kwami was already gone.

And just as he was going to put it on again, he spotted the dark purple butterfly fluttering its way toward him.

The ring fell from his hand. And just as the Akuma disappeared into the scarf -again-, he noticed that his hand was still on it.

_«Black Chaos, it's a pleasure to meet you again»_ .  Hawk Moth's voice was mockingly satisfied.

_«I see you need my help again. What's wrong now? Your father denied you to hang out? Poor boy…»_ . His heartless laughter echoed in Adrien's head, forcing him to double over in pain.

«Get off! I don't want you! I'm stronger than you!».

Hawk Moth's hilarity was cut short in a second. _«You are nothing!»_ , he growled. _«You resisted me for pure luck!»_.

«Holding a grudge, Hawky?». It was madness, teasing his nemesis while in disadvantage, but he couldn't help it.

A flame of pure rage -Hawk Moth's- flared up in his head, tripling the pain. _«YOU WILL OBEY ME!!!»_.

The Akuma became one with the scarf, sending his dark energy through his body. Adrien tried to stop it, but the searing pain in every single cell of his brain prevented him from doing so.

In a matter of seconds, he was Black Chaos again.

But still Hawk Moth seemed to have failed at gaining total control, because the first phrase that exited his lips was:

«Don't worry, Father. Soon you won't have to worry about businesses any more».

  


In his hidden lair, Hawk Moth shivered, because he couldn't hide forever. Gabriel Agreste was as busy as his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Hawk Moth is Gabriel Agreste. I don't give a damn. For what I care, he can die. Twice or thrice, if possible, and painfully. Aaaaaasssssshooooleeeee!!!!!!!!  
> And yes, Black Chaos's back to work!  
> As for Marinette, yes, she decided to put on the dress Adrien bought her. Funny thing, she'll be dark themed just like Black Chaos!  
> Irony? A LOT.  
> I'm thinking on another reference to Magic the Gathering (credits to Wizards of the Coast, as usual) in the next chapter notes, or even in the chapter text body.  
> This had come quickly, but do not expect all future chapters to come so quickly. It had been quite a streak of three in three days, but it had been mere luck.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here Adrien gets in deep shit with his father.  
> And here Gabriel gets in deep shit with his son.  
> Everybody, cover you nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> if you are weak-stomached, this could hurt. I didn't put Graphic Depictions of Violence for nothing.  
> And those are depictions of painful violence.  
> (I changed my mind about the MagictheGathering reference. I don't feel like it)

Marinette, Nino and Alya arrived pretty early at Parc du Révolution, almost half an hour before the actual appointment.

Plenty of time for Marinette to rightfully lash them with harsh words and doubtful glares.

«Are you telling me that a single message from C… Ladybug convinced you more than all what I said?», she hissed venomously. «Seriously? You trust someone you don't even know more than a friend you've known since the start of the school?».

«No, Mari, we would have realized it just the same», interrupted Nino. «It just… speeded things up, you know? After all, Ladybug is the greatest expert of Akumas, after Hawk Moth».

«And Chat Noir».

«When she said there was nothing extraordinary about it, I guess we just stopped being in panic». He coughed embarrassedly. «And without panic… I guess we began to reason again».

«Took your time», she snapped. «You are his best friend, Nino. Why did it take you longer than it took me?».

«Well, you always had a crush on him», shrugged Alya. «I guess that helped. You didn't want to think he is evil».

«He's not. You just said it».

«I did», she confirmed. «When he arrives, we will explain him everything».

«No».

«What?». Both Alya and Nino were taken aback.

«I said you won't explain a thing», she repeated. «He doesn't want to spend an afternoon being remembered what he did. I'm not even sure he _knows_ what he did. We are going to be his friends, now and in the future. As if nothing happened».

«But Chat said that ignoring someone's dark side is bad…».

«Provoking it is much worse», she retorted. «Also, we _are_ going to deal with it, just not now. Today we are just four friends who hang out together».

«It's not that simple, Mari».

«Make it be», she stated, firmly. «Act as usual. If he wants to offer you something, protest weakly but then let him. If he offers to help you with homework, be glad of it. As for me, I'm going to ask him to help me with some Maths and Physics homework».

«You are going to _ask_ for help to _Adrien_?», gaped Alya. «The Adrien you've been drooling after for more than a year now? Without stumbling over your words as always?».

«I know you're just trying not to think about being nice after having basically ditched a friend exactly when he needed you, but shut up nonetheless», snapped Marinette. «There are things more important than my crush on him. His health, for example, is one of these».

Alya and Nino stared at her for a second, giving her plenty of time to realize how much Ladybug she had sounded...

No, she had not to think about that.

And yet her traitorous thoughts drifted exactly in that direction. God, she missed so much being Ladybug, so much that it almost hurt physically. She hadn't cried since Chat's first visit, but it was only because things had happened at crazy speed, bringing her from a date with Adrien to his akumization and last to Chat's own problems. It was incredible how he could doubt himself just like she did when he was such an amazing person. If she had to think of the most amazing person she'd ever met, she would have trouble deciding between Adrien and Chat.

But now that her friends were silent, probably still thinking if hanging out with Adrien had been a good idea or not, she had all the time to think about what happened.

_ Maybe I wasn't such an awful Ladybug _ , she groaned.  _ After all, we  _ did _ beat Hawk Moth every time he sent an Akuma. Oh God, did I do something wrong? _

But even if part of her realized  that she had never been an unworthy Ladybug, another part was still certain she had done the right thing.

And then Chat's word came to her mind, as clear as spring water and twice as cold.

_«Everyone has a dark side»._

_« If this part is not faced, it grows. The more you try to ignore your dark side, the more powerful it becomes»._

She felt as if someone had just dipped her into icing-cold water. She even shivered, although there was barely enough cold for her to wear a coat.

But together with those terrifying words, others surfaced as well.

_«But if the victim's willpower is stronger than Hawk Moth's the Akuma grows more powerful. Actually, much more powerful»_

_«His will was stronger than Hawk Moth. He was doing whatever he wanted, not what he told him to do. That's why Hawk Moth left him. And following the first equation, if his will is so strong, the Akuma becomes very strong as well»._

_«It's Black Chaos that is a part of Adrien»._

Her mind ran those sentences various time, stripping them of any useless information. And then she saw what she had been missing all along.

_«His will was stronger than Hawk Moth»._

His will was stronger than Hawk Moth.

Adrien's will was stronger than Hawk Moth's.

Adrien beat Hawk Moth.

How?

That single word was more than enough to wipe any thought of Ladybug off her mind. She would have to talk to Chat again about that. He was the one who said it, maybe he knew something more than the others.

But her priority, now, was to understand.

  
  


Black Chaos nonchalantly annihilated his room's wall and walked right to the border. After a whole wall had been torn off, his room had a wonderful view of the school and, most important, of Parc du Révolution.

_ «Your friends are there. The ones who hurt you. The ones who blamed you».  _ Hawk Moth's whispers were insistent, but he found that they held no importance for him. Way more than his friends, there was someone else to punish.

«Ten minutes have passed, at maximum, after Father sent me here», he reasoned aloud. «He must still be in the mansion».

_«Your father can't hurt you any more, you said it yourself, don't you remember. Your friends, instead, did a great job in the last two days...»._

« My father doesn't have the power to stop me seeing my friends, Hawky. He has to learn ».

The nickname bothered the supervillain, he knew it.  _«Do you think things'll get better if you hurt your father? The man who pays for everything you have and will have? It's like killing the goose with the golden eggs. It's foolishness»._

«I don't know why now you're so overprotective toward me, Hawky, but I don't give a damn».

_ «You should hold your tongue. It's not appropriated and you...». _ He stopped abruptly.  _ «First, you have to bring me Ladybug and Chat Noir's Miraculouses». _

«Yeah, so you will then remove the Akuma and I will be left with a shitty father and a power-crazy supervillain in command».

_ «Don't ever call me that again, A dr ... Black Chaos» _ , mentally hissed Hawk Moth.  _ «From now on, you're on your own. Just remember that if you try to disobey me, I will make you pay». _

Their telepathic connection was severed.

Plagg's words appeared in his mind, as clear as glass.

_«His Miraculous can't go on forever without recharging. And he's still human. Whoever he is under that mask, he still needs to eat and sleep. And probably to keep up the façade of a normal civilian life»._

He snickered. He was ready to bet that Hawk Moth had something to do in the meanwhile, and he had let him go only because he couldn't risk to ruin any  façade  he had to keep up.

«And now that we are alone, let's get some work done».

Deep inside him, Adrien did not even bothered to answer. He couldn't, not yet. He had to regain control over his mind with time.

If he was lucky, before his father was killed he would have been in control again.

If he wasn't... Ladybug's healing magic would bring him back, but surely he wouldn't be happy about it.

Eight minutes  later , Black Chaos spotted a tall figure hurrying toward the car parked in front of the house.

« Here I am, Father »,  the Akuma cackled loudly, before taking several steps back. Then, just as Adrien had begun to hope he wouldn't kill his Father, after all, he ran at full speed toward the forty meters chasm before him, leaping high in the air and cackling like a madman.

He landed right before Gabriel Agreste who, from a pale shade of white, went to a dead-like shade of snowy white.

« Hello, Father ».

  
  


Just as she felt the answer was near, a tremendous noise thundered in the air, making them all yelp, startled. She looked around for an Akuma -usually exploding or crushing noises were signs of an attack-, but she could only see scared people.

« Mari... ».

« Not now, Alya, something... ».

« Look up ».

Irritated by her friend stubbornness, she raised her eyes, only to freeze in terror.

Adrien's mansion was clearly in sight from the park, more than sixty meters tall and as large as the entire neighbourhood. Also clearly in sight was the brand-new hole in what she knew was Adrien's bedroom.

And standing right in the improvised balcony, a solitary black figure was laughing at full lungs, as if something really funny had just happened.

She did not waste time thinking about what could have happened. She just rushed at full speed toward the mansion, Alya and Nino at her heels.

« Why are you coming? ».

« I'm not Lady WiFi, he's not the Bubbler and Adrien's not Black Chaos »,  retorted Alya.  « Also, if we want to have a chance of knowing what the hell is going on and what had made him go crazy again, we have to go ».

« You could get killed ».

« If he wants us, we could get killed just the same »,  she shrugged.  « Besides, now we know that Ladybug can heal us if we get annihilated ».

« I don't think being vaporized feels good ».

« Annihilated. It's far worse »,  corrected Nino, who had Adrien teaching him Physics since the start of the school and knew the difference.  « And I don't think so, either. But if my guess is right, we aren't his target any more ».

« Which guess? ».

Nino didn't answer immediately, his eyes fixed on the black figure now jumping out of the destroyed wall.

« His father »,  he said finally.  « It all started with his father, did you notice? Since I've met Adrien I've been discovering more and more things about him that would make you shiver, Mari. Do you know he often speaks to Adrien as if he was a stranger? It all started with hi, with his not being a father, not even being a decent person, actually. I think he denied him to come ».

« Why would he do that? ».

« Why would someone with a heart bury his own son in so many classes and courses that he can't even hang out? Why would someone with a heart steal your gift to pretend it's his own? ».

Marinette gasped.  « How do you know? Did you told him? ».

« Alya told me, but I didn't tell Adrien. His father is such an asshole I didn't want to ruin his only happy memory of him ».  He scowled.  « But I think he figured out, eventually. Why would have the scarf been the akumized object, otherwise? ».

He was right. She hadn't noticed. Maybe she could start to forgive them for being ignorant little brats.

But those thoughts were blown off her mind as she saw not just the front wall, but the entire  _mansion_ crumpled on itself and crash to the ground with a thundering noise.

Black Chaos had killed his father.

  
  


Black Chaos hummed merrily as he grabbed the man who had ruined his life by the throat and sent  twenty thousands volts straight to his nervous system, who immediately overloaded and cut off every connection with the brain, avoiding  it to feel the atrocious pain .

However, the electricity didn't stop at his head, but travelled in all his body, frying every nerve to the point of melting and scorched the skin to an oaken shade of brown. His eyes instantly turned into transparent fluid dotted with crimson blood. His body was shaken by uncontrollable convulsions. Every single hair in his body was reduced to  ashes.

Gabriel Agreste  stiffened in less than a second.

Black Chaos scoffed as he threw aside the unrecognisable corpse of  his father . Turning to the mansion, he let a  bitter grimace reach his face.

He had so many bad memories of that house that he would be  dusk before  he could list them all. That house was so cold and empty that held nothing for him.

He walked across the large hall until he was right in the middle.

« This will take a bit of an effort »,  he mumbled.

Adrien did not reply. He was devastated by his father's horrible demise, and yet he couldn't help feeling a strange sense of relief.  He was hugely ashamed by this relief, and yet it didn't go away: h e was no more around to destroy him.

Black Chaos raised his arms and activated his power, concentrating on the whole hall. The rest would have crumbled by itself and he would have been able to attract and annihilate the falling pieces.

As he predicted, the whole house shook as large chunks of the hall tore themselves from the walls and flew toward the black hole.

  
  


Even if it can be hard to believe, Hawk Moth last thought wasn't of vengeance. Or of disappointment for not having gotten Ladybug's and Chat Noir's Miraculouses.

It was of intense fear, mixed with a hint of shame for having wetted himself just before  falling , in front of his son and the rest of the world.

It didn't occurred to him  the irony  that this time, the duo of superheroes would save him as well as all the other citizens.

Unconsciousness seized him in a second.

And yet, he was still alive. Mortally injured, but still alive. To his great misfortune, this only avoided Black Chaos to turn back into Adrien.

  
  


Marinette and her friends reached the mansion just as the last pieces of the roof were annihilated by Black Chaos.

They all vomited  in horror and disgust as soon as they saw the steaming corpse of Gabriel Agreste,  abandoned like a carcass in front of the crumbled building.

S aid building hadn't been completely destroyed, however, because there was still the large stairs that were once the end of the hall. A door -and so the relative room- had been left intact, and was now hanging on its hinges, left ajar by the actual occupant of the room.

They were awaited.

Alya, who recovered first from the shock of the burned body ran at Mr Agreste's side and, lacking of any other surface, she put her own recording phone to check the man's breath. The glass went opaque.

He was still alive.

« He lives! »,  exclaimed the reporter, earning the attention of everyone.  « We must help him! ».

« There's nothing we can do! »,  replied Nino, frowning.  « Except... going inside ».

« No, not you »,  argued Marinette.  « I'll go. He accepted to text me instead of talk with me, so he is starting to trust me. I'm the safest, here ».

« He could kill you, Mari »,  protested Alya.

«Ladybug will restore everything, Alya, even me and Mr Agreste».

«But...».

«She's right, Alya, she's the safest», said Nino.  « Even if I hate having to let her go, we could only worsen the situation. And it's already bad by itself ».

Marinette nodded at him once to thank him, and then ran to the waiting door. When she reached it, she came to a sudden halt and glanced back to his friends. Nino gave her a shaking thumbs up. No braver than before, she took a deep breath, then knocked at the door.

« Come in, and be my guest »,  came Black Chaos's reply.  « If I'm not mistaken,  you are sweet, kind Marinette ».

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, Gabriel Agreste can die in every way and I wouldn't care just the same. A man who ruins his son's life by being so blind to his needs shouldn't be father.  
> I brought his character to an extreme (in the show he does care a tiny bit about his son). There's an actual reason, don't worry.  
> As for Adrien's relief to his death, it's partly what I would have felt. It's two years since I last spoke to my biological father (my mother's partner is a wonderful man and I'm more than happy to call him father). When at last I told my family I didn't want to have anything to do with him any more, I felt horrible because it felt wrong to hate my own father, but I couldn't help feeling relieved. My version of Adrien's cold mansion was my father's house. A house but not a home.  
> I really hope to get comments on this, although maybe I should apologize for the cruelness of describing Mr Agreste's semi-demise. Even if I think that is what happens to a body being struck by such a strong electricity.  
> I'm actually surprised. Just as I say that probably I'll have to slow down with updates, a new surge of ideas makes me write all evenings for hours, and gets me to update four chapters in a row. I think it's because of the comments. I'm simply dying to read what people thinks of my job. At first I actually feared that they would all have been like "This is shit", "It holds no sense", "Cut it off", "I'm gonna use printed pages of this as toilet tissue" and things like that. Instead I received some of the best comments about things I did I've ever received.  
> Especially, I have to thank whoever "o" is. Since he/she's got no Archive account, I don't know a thing about him/her. However, his/her comments had been quite helpful and encouraging. Thanks!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette versus Black Chaos.  
> Who will come out on top?  
> (Answer: nobody).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter I put a LOT of programming stuff. Please don't shout at me. I love programming and it was so very easy for me to write it, but someone who doesn't know what I'm talking about could find it boring.  
> Fortunately, there's nothing really important in it.

Saying that Marinette was scared would have been, at the same time, a gross understatement and a big mistake.

She was terrorized.

She was extremely pissed off at Hawk Moth for akumizing a boy who had just gone through so much.

She was angry with Alya and Nino for not helping Adrien immediately.

She was enraged with Hawk Moth because she knew that Adrien would have never forgiven himself for killing his own father.

As her hand pushed open the door, her brain was already planning what to do after Black Chaos's defeat – Chat would arrive soon, she told herself.

She already had in mind a few things. She had to prevent him from killing himself. And since his father's surveillance wasn't enough, she would have to do it on her own. Maybe she could adopt him, she told herself.

It never occurred to her that she was clumsy, messy, shy Marinette, and that clumsy, messy, shy Marinette would have just fainted at the idea of adopting  _Adrien Agreste_ . And even if the thought had passed through her brain, she would have just pushed it aside for Adrien's sake.

Had Tikki been there instead of buried under the remains of Adrien's desk, trying to prevent Plagg from killing himself (he was a god, so he couldn't  suicide just by suffocating himself, but he tried nonetheless), she would have remarked "I told you, Marinette. You are Ladybug in and out of the mask".

But Tikki wasn't there. Black Chaos was there.

« Welcome, Marinette »,  he greeted her from the chair he'd been sitting on.  « Please, take a sit ».

« Adrien, you beat him before, you can do it again »,  she said, completely ignoring the Akuma.  « I believe in you ».

« He can hear you, he can see you, he can smell you, he  _can't_ tell you »,  sang Black Chaos, then gestured toward one of the chairs.  « I remember telling you to sit. You wouldn't like me to tell you a third time, nor  me to force you to sit ».

She sat.  « Why aren't you killing me, Black Chaos? ».

« You don't look scared »,  he grumbled, his pout invisible under the dark mask.  « Last time you were terrified ».

« Because last time I didn't know what to do ».

« And now you know? ».

« Yes, I do »,  she replied with force.  « Now I bring you out of here, to safety. Then we wait for C... Ladybug to fix everything. Then I'll try to get Mr Agreste out of your life ».

« How? ».

« I'm telling you only if you come with me ».

« You are forgetting that I'm Black Chaos, not your friend, and I won't come ».

She laughed, taking him off guard.  « Black Chaos is a part of Adrien. Nobody's perfect, and I can assure you that this is a very small flaw if it's paired with Adrien's kindness ».

S he felt herself blush. Okay, maybe she was a mix of Ladybug and Marinette, after all, just like Adrien was a mix of Adrien and Black Chaos.

Actually, Adrien was a mix of Adrien, Black Chaos and Chat Noir, but she couldn't know.

« What should that mean? ».

« That if you're Adrien, then I can bring Adrien away because he's my friend, then I can bring  _you_ away from this mess ».  She smirked, her cheeks still crimson.  « It's like an equation. If x equals to nine, and y equals to x, then y equals to nine ».

She knew that Adrien would have liked such a mathematical comparison. And the best part is that she actually understood what she'd just said.

However, Black Chaos wanted to pass a comment.  « Then it's more like in logistic. If A returns true to the condition of you bringing him away, and BC is identical to A, then BC returns true to that same condition ».

H e had lost her at the word logistic, but she had another trick up in her sleeve.  « Or in programming. If the class Adrien's got the boolean constant letMarinetteDragMeAway to true, then the subclass Black Chaos is got that very same boolean constant to true ».

H e pouted again, but she couldn't see him. He had understood and he was going to challenge her on that subject. Beating her in Maths or Physics was far too easy.

« But if the interface AdrienPersonality is got the boolean-returning method letsMarinette(), then it's up to its implementers to define it, because an interface can't define non-static methods. So the class Adrien and the class Black Chaos, who both implements it, could return different boolean values ».

« Yes, but the method is static because everyone of Adrien's personality shares his kindness and I'm a friend of all Adrien, so the method's static. And as static, he can be defined in the interface's class file ».

« A subclass can re-define its superclass's variables ».

« Not constants because they're marked as static and  _final_ , so after being initialized they can't be assigned other values ».

« No one said it was a constant ».

« I said it was a constant ».

The Akuma stared at her for quite a few seconds, his blank black mask not showing any of the underlying emotions. Then he burst into honest laughters.

« Adrien's was right, you really are amazing »,  he said, surprising her.  « However, a subclass can just use the signature  _@Override_ and re-define the superclass methods ».

« And since I'm the programmer, I could just erase the override and tell you not to try it again ».

« But since I'm the program, I could insert a bug to destroy data files, and corrupt Adrien.class file, modifying its constants ».

« Yet again, there's nothing a program can do that a programmer can't undo. I would fix the bug and meanwhile kick your butt at Mecha Strike ».

« Mecha Strike is not real life, and you can't kick my butt in real life ».  He smirked.  « Now, can you? ».

She thought about it for a second. She gave up being Ladybug just five days before, so she wasn't out of training. And beating down Black Chaos was much easier than beating down Adrien.

Also, he asked for it. It was a game, for him.

« I can »,  she said, standing up.  « And I will ».

He just cackled out loud, standing as well and lazily walking toward her.

« No powers, Blacky ».

« No powers ».

« Are you sure you can avoid using them? ».

« I am ».

« Can you control them? ».

« I can ».  Then, with an afterthought, he wickedly added:  « _And I will_ ».

She didn't laugh.

Black Chaos fell back on a fighting stance. It was so very similar to Chat's. For a second, he looked like he was going to attack, but then he froze.

  


_ «Black Chaos» _ , calmly, almost merrily stated Adrien from the corner of his mind.  _ «Just keep in mind one thing» _ .

_«What?»._

_ «If I lose her, you will regret coming to this world» _ .

Black Chaos had no doubt Adrien would have been able to keep his promise.

  


His stillness lasted for just one second, and then he leapt to attack Marinette. He couldn't know she had been Ladybug, but she could swear he was treating her like a worthy opponent. No playing, no tricks, no teasing.

« So, Little Blue? Are you going to attack me or not? ».

Okay, maybe he was teasing her.

« I'm sorry Blacky, but I like to see the faces I punch, and I can't see yours ».

« Unfortunately, it doesn't come off »,  he shrugged.  « But I bet your face can ».

She shivered. She had to remember she wasn't playing with a friend, but fighting an Akuma. For a second, she let a single thought comfort her.

_ Chat will be proud of me _ .

Then she remembered what she did to Chat in the first place, and all her glee was gone.

She dodged another assault, but he was faster than she was. Adrien was a fencer, after all, and he had even attended martial arts' courses. She had been a superhero, yes, but he was  _ trained _ to fight and kill.

Thinking of Adrien as of a soldier trained to kill made her shiver once again.  _ No, Adrien would use his skills only for good. To defend someone, for example _ .

Her thoughtfulness was rewarded by a well placed kick at her stomach, that sent her rolling on the floor. Before she could get up, Black Chaos was already over her.

« Game over, Sweetie »,  he said, readying a punch for her. She had no doubt that akumization had given him enough force to crack her skull like an eggshell.

And so she was utterly surprised when he punched himself in the face so hard to send himself rolling on the floor. She sat upright, watching wide-eyed as the boy slowly raised on his feet and grabbed the black scarf he was wearing. The strips of dark cloth that hung from his shoulders were dusty from the fall, but the rest of him was flawlessly black.

Without even bothering to remove it, he ripped the scarf, swiftly catching the Akuma in his own hand.

« I'm sorry, Marinette, but I guess you already guessed it »,  Adrien said, himself once again, turning to face her. However, he did not make any step toward her.  « You have to go. Now. Tell Alya and Nino I'm gonna be fine. I have to do a couple of things ».

« You aren't going anywhere without me »,  she stated, raising as well.  « Hawk Moth is probably furious now, and I think he could try to attack you ».

Since he had returned to his true aspect, too, she could see the surprise in his eyes.  « What? Did you think I would leave you alone just because you are in danger? ».

A gain, had Tikki been there, she would have said "Marinette, I told you...". Well, she knew what she would have told her.

« But I tried to kill you... ».

« Hawk Moth's fault ».

« I let myself get angry... ».

« I get angry a couple of times a day »,  she shrugged.

« _I killed my father!_ ».

She sighed, stepping forwards, but he retreated swiftly.  « I'm a murderer, Mari, how can you be okay with this? ».

« Had you been a murderer, then I wouldn't have been okay with it »,  she replied with force.  « But it's Hawk Moth the murderer. You are a victim just like me ».

« I... ».

« Adrien, you said you weren't ready to talk about it, and I don't think you are now, not after what just happened »,  she said.  « Just come with me ».

« I... think I need some time... alone ».

« I can't let you ».

« I promise, I won't try to kill myself ».

She flinched. Hearing it from Black Chaos was one thing. Hearing Adrien speaking of it as if it was normal reassuring people he wouldn't try suicide was a different matter altogether.

« Adrien... ».

« Please. I promise ».

She looked at him. She had needed time, too, after abandoning Tikki and Chat.  « Conceded. How much time? ».

« A few hours. I think  Ladybug and Chat Noir will want to talk with me, alone, just like Chat Noir did after I was akumized for the first time ».

  


He hated to lie to Marinette, but he had to retrieve Ladybug's Miraculous and fix everything. Especially his father, Nathalie and the Gorilla. The last two had been in the building during its destruction, so they were probably dead, too.

And then the butterfly in his fist disintegrated.

  


Outside, Alya quietly looked at Nino and shook her head.

He hugged her tight. Even if Mr Agreste was the cause for Adrien's problems, a death was a death, and they were just sixteen.

  


« W-What happened? »,  asked Marinette, staring at the dust that was once the Akuma.  « What did you do? ».

« Nothing! »,  he exclaimed, stepping back from the black powder.  « I swear! ».

Silence enveloped them for a handful of minutes, then Marinette sighed.

« I will leave you, then. Come to my house as soon as you can after talking with Chat Noir... and Ladybug ».

  


« Who is... oh ».  Tom Dupain-Cheng's voice dropped dead.  « Ah, uh, it's you, uh, Adrien ».

« Marinette wanted to see me »,  he said, his eyes finding an extreme interest in his own shoes.  « If I can, of course... ».

« No, no! ».  Realizing what he said, Tom hurried to complete the sentence.  « No, it's obvious you can. Mari told us ».  He gingerly stepped aside, letting him in.

«Mari is upstairs. Do you want me to call her?».

«I'll go by myself», he replied.  « Thank you, Mr Dupain-Cheng ».

Normally, Tom would have responded to call him just by name, but that wasn't normal.

Adrien climbed up the stairs and took a deep breath, then knocked at her door.

« Oh, A-Adrien! I-I d-didn't expect you s-so s-soon! ».  Marinette's voice came from behind the door.  « C-Come in ».

He obliged, then closing the door behind him.  « How did you know it was me? ».

She blushed just a tint.  « W-Well, my parents don't knock, a-and I was expecting you, so... ».

S he shrugged off the embarrassment.  « However we need to talk ».

« I have to tell you something, first ».

« What? ».

« Do you remember you said you had to get my father out of my life? Well, there's no more need for it ».  His green eyes finally met her blue ones.  « He disinherited me. In a few days, I won't be his son any more ».

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can guess, Gabriel didn't take well to be killed by his own son enhanced with his own magic.  
> Yes, the Akuma died because Hawk Moth died. But now he's back.  
> And now Adrien's homeless. How will a rich boy like him handle that?  
> From what I know, it's not possible to do what Gabriel did. You can't just kick your son out of your house before he gets out on his own. However, he's rich and influent, and surely having been killed can play in his favour before the judges.  
> (it's still something illegal, impossible and horrible to do, beware).


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette proves to be the programmer and to be able to stop the terminate() method of Adrien.class

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A programming-oriented summary. For the ones who don't know, terminate a class or activity means stop all its functions and shut it down, forcefully if it's necessary.  
> Since nobody commented anything about my talking freely about things like suicide, then I think I won't put any other WARNING in my notes, like I did with Gabriel Agreste's death. I think the tags of this fic speak for themselves.  
> WARNING (okay, maybe I'll warn from time to time): this is really short and ends with a cliffhanger. Since I won't be able to update until Monday, don't read if you are weak-hearted. Not until next chapter is updated, at least.

Marinette froze. «W-What?».

«He disinherited me», repeated Adrien, looking no less tired than God after the creation of the world. «And he's going to start a legal act to erase our family bound. I don't know what he's gonna do, but he said in a few days I would have to leave or to be treated like an intruder».

«He...». Then she burst. « _He can't do this!_ ».

«Turns out he can», said Adrien, tearing his gaze away from her and fixing it out of the window. There was so much sadness in his voice, so much hurt and so very much loneliness.

Her heart broke into two. She had already said she was surprised Adrien actually resisted so long against Hawk Moth, but now she had the proof. If the boy in front of her wasn't the most lonely and broken boy she'd ever seen, then no one was. She had no idea of how could Adrien handle something like that. She knew she couldn't handle knowing how he had felt all along.

So she did the only thing that seemed rational to her. She hugged him tightly.

He flinched at the contact, trying to step back, but she didn't let go of him. He started to tremble and then she realized he probably wasn't in the right status to accept a hug so easily. He had killed his father, and he had been horrified by that. How could she have thought he would have let her _hug_ him?

And then a detail came to her mind.

« How did your father know it was you? And how could he remember what happened? I thought every one killed by an Akuma wouldn't remember anything of their death... ».

« He asked. And he has subscribed to the Ladyblog »,  he replied, still shaking visibly in her arms.  « And the news didn't leave much to  imagination ».

« Are Chat Noir and Ladybug going to make a statement about it? This is the first... ».  She bit her tongue.

«...the first time someone gets akumized twice», he finished sadly.  « They're not going to make a statement ».

« What? Why? ».  Oh, Chat was going to pray he had a good reason.  « They always released interviews and declarations, why shouldn't they do it now? ».

  


_ « Because he is too selfless to even think of using his secret identity to help himself, and he doesn't realize that if he behaves like two different people in every other way, then he should remember that Chat Noir  _ would _ help Adrien Agreste, had they been two different people » _ ,  thought Plagg, who had been comforted by Tikki and had helped her to comfort Adrien just a few hours before.

  


« Well, it's not like they said they wouldn't »,  replied Adrien, finally having Marinette release the embrace and relaxing.  « They did not mention anything about statements ».

Her eyes narrowed.  « They should do something! ».

« They have more important things to do ».

« Wrong »,  she snapped, pissed off by Adrien's umpteenth self-deprecating thought.  « There's nothing more important for them to do. This is something completely new, and you need help ».

« They have to think about Paris's citizens, first ».

« You are one of Paris's citizens, Adrien »,  she argued . « Adrien, you need... »

« _ I don't need help! _ »,  he shouted, frustrated.  « I don't need your help, I don't need Alya's and Nino's help, and surely I don't need Ladybug's and Chat Noir's help! ».

Immediately, the trapdoor opened to reveal Marinette's parents, both with concerned and slightly frightened looks on their faces.

« Is... everything okay? »,  asked Tom, glancing from a scowling Adrien to a frowning Marinette.  « Should we... worry? ».

« No »,  stated Adrien.  « You shouldn't. I'm leaving ».

« Adrien... »,  started Marinette, but he had already shot past her parents -who retracted visibly from him- and disappeared down the stairs.

She tried to run after him, but unfortunately her parents were quite in the way, and she arrived just in time to see the front door closing behind the boy.

Not caring about her parents, who were shouting her to come back, she shot out of the door, running after the blonde who already had a good head start. Fortunately, no one else was scared by him -he terrified only the targets of his akumization: for the others he was just another Akuma-, and so he was slightly slowed down. However, so was she.

Marinette had no idea for how long they ran, but soon sunset kicked in, and slowly the streets emptied. She was almost out of breath, and the decreasing light wasn't helping her in any way. At last, she could barely glimpse a flash of blonde hair turning into a dark alley.

She knew that part of the city -they almost made a circle-, and knew it was a dead end, so she slowed down to catch her breath. She would have needed it later, to talk Adrien out of whatever he was going to do.

But first she wanted to know how he would behave alone. Would he start crying? Or breaking things?

_ Well, he can't exactly go anywhere now _ , she thought. Very slowly, she approached the corner and sneaked a glance behind it.

Adrien was standing in the middle of the alley, panting heavily and irregularly for the long run, muttering something she couldn't hear.

  


« I'm fine, Plagg, stay there, I'm fine ».  He couldn't even convince himself, how could he convince his Kwami?

«You're not fine at all», growled Plagg.  « What you are is that you are going back and listen to Blue Hair! She is much wiser than you think ».

« I know »,  he groaned.  « That is why I can't go back ».

« Because you don't want to hear the truth? ».

« Because I don't want her to leave me too »,  he snapped, on the very verge of tears.  « Oh, God, look at me. Murderer, Akuma, hated by my friends, and now even egoist. It seems I can't get anything right ».

« You are  _ not _ a murderer. Hawk Moth is ».

« I was controlling Black Chaos, not Hawk Moth »,  he slumped against a wall.  « I killed  _ my father _ ».

« He is alive, because you brought him back, Adrien ».  Tikki's voice joined Plagg's in the argument.  « You did the right thing » .

« I can't go on like this »,  he wailed, not aware of two eyes watching him.  « I simply can't.  It's too much. It  _ hurts _ ».

« I know,  _ we  _ know, but we also know that the only solution to it is facing it, not running ».  Plagg had become way more helpful since his first akumization.  « Marinette wants to help you. Let her help you. We had a deal: you help her as Chat and let her help you as Adrien. It's time for you to let her help you ».

« She already did way more than I could have asked for ».

« Kid, I'm sure Marinette's problems aren't tiny, but I know that yours can't be solved in a matter of days ».  For a second, he was back being the whiny tiny pest who had bothered him all the time since he first became Chat Noir.  « You need time. Hell, I was planning to sort out two or three things with you, but time is needed for all of them! ».

Tikki nodded even though he couldn't see her.  « Adrien, it could take you weeks to work this out. You need all the help you can get ».

« Why? ».

The question surprised the two Kwamis. There was a reason for being helped?

« What's that supposed to mean? ».

« Why do I have to be helped? Why can't I make it on my own? ».  He almost broke a sob, but he restrained himself.  « _ Why can't I? WHY AM I NEVER GOOD ENOUGH!? _ ».  He took his head in his hands.

He wanted to cry. Oh, man, he wanted to cry so badly.

But he couldn't.

He wasn't allowed to cry.

He wasn't allowed to vent.

He wasn't allowed to show negative emotions.

He wasn't allowed to live his life like a true person.

He wasn't allowed not to be a perfect model son.

But his father never forbade him to kill himself.

He knew the feeling far too well. His world crumbling, expectations far too high to be upheld, disappointment hidden in everyone's features, failure in every of his actions.  There was a way, after all, different from talking.

After all, even if somebody had blamed him for killing himself, he wouldn't care. It was one of the advantages of death: everything became frivolously empty. And in death, there were no expectations, no cold fathers and, over all, there was his mother. He did not remember much of her, but surely he did remember she was better than his father. Why had she married him was a mystery to him, but she had.

_Why it had to be me?_

_Why couldn't it be someone -anyone- else?_

_Why did I have to suffer so much?_

_Why can't I just let it out?_

_Why can't I let someone near me without hurting them?_

_Why did I have to be akumized?_

_What did I do to deserve this?_

_Why can't this just stop?_

« WHY HAD IT TO BE ME!? »,  he shouted, punching the wall with all his strength, that wasn't much, since he had ran for a long time.

In a surge of anger, frustration, desperation and pain, he dived his hand in his jacket to retrieve the only thing that could give him rest.

  


Marinette tried to slow her breath down as much as possible not to alert Adrien.

She also leant against the wall, because she thought her legs couldn't have kept her up any more.

Adrien wasn't through it yet, she knew it, but this? It was far worse than she had imagined. Even her nightmares hadn't been so bad.

Adrien was so obsessed by perfection he didn't even allowed himself to cry. Or rather the thought of having to be perfect was so ingrained in his mind -ingrained by his father, no doubt about it- that he couldn't even think of the possibility that he didn't  _ have _ to be perfect.

Adrien was in serious danger of depression.

Hell, that was wrong: Adrien already was hair-deep in depression. He was in danger of  _ suicide _ .

It  w ould  have  been his sixth attempt.

She c ouldn't bear the thought. But as she hinted to move toward him, he pulled something out of his shirt.

A long, sharp stiletto, with a dark green handle and a thin hilt. How did he get it, she didn't know. Her brain went dead the moment she saw the dagger.

And it still was dead as her body acted by his own will, dashing forwards to stop the knife that in a second would have sunk in Adrien's leg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm evil, I know it. I also kept this short because I think I will post the next chapter soon.  
> Just to inform you all, Marinette was 6.4 meters away from Adrien. Her speed was 5.5 m/s. The speed of Adrien's hand -currently trying to stab his leg in the artery- was 2.8 m/s. The point of the knife was 45 cm away from his leg, and around 52 cm away from the artery. An arterial haemorrhage can kill in a couple of minutes. Even in emergency cases, an ambulance can't arrive before five minutes. A stiletto is a long thin dagger made for penetration: favourite weapon of assassin, its name comes from Italian and is strangely similar to the Italian word "stile" (style), probably because stilettos were then introduced into noble fashion, and so were "stylish". (in just a few words -or swords, given the subject-, a stiletto can pass through skin and flesh and reach the artery). So Marinette needs 1.63 (periodical 63) seconds just to reach Adrien. Adrien needs around 0.16 seconds to reach the skin of his leg, or around 0.18 to reach the artery.  
> However, Adrien first drew his hand a bit higher (so to give more strength to the blow), and so we can add a rough second to his times. This means 1.63 for Marinette and 1.16-1.18 for Adrien.  
> If we subtract them, we will see that Adrien arrives 0.47-0.45 seconds before Marinette.  
> Another theory about the stiletto. "Stiletto" is, literally, the diminutive form of "stile" (style), so it means "stile piccolo" (little style). In Italian, "stile" can, sometimes, be used as the English "kind". So it could mean "little kind of knife" (we are speaking of knives). This is an explanation based more on Italian grammar than Italian history, but it could be true from what I know.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We will see if Marinette can defy the laws of physics to reach Adrien

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This contains really depressed thoughts, thoughts that shouldn't ABSOLUTELY be thought.  
> Adrien has a really big problem and he can't just accept help.

Alya sat on her bed in silence. She had been sitting on her bed in silence since she returned from the Agreste Mansion.

She didn't even say hello to her parents and went directly to her bedroom. When they came to check on her, she remained in complete silence. After they had gone, she had taken her laptop and had written a post for the Ladyblog. Even if she was in shock, her duty as blogger, reporter _and_ informant was too important to be left aside.

She had known that Nino was feeling exactly the same, and so she hadn't been surprised when he showed up at her door, just as silent as she was, and took a seat beside her on the bed. They hadn't uttered a single word.

They had expected Chat to come to talk to them, explain why he hadn't been able to fight the Akuma. Either him, or Ladybug, but since Chat had already come once he was more likely to come. They had been mildly surprised when dusk had set in without any sign of the black superhero, but none of them had spoken.

Nino had silently agreed to stay over. She had gestured toward him, then toward the bed and then toward the setting sun. He had nodded. They had returned staring at the flaming sunset without even seeing it.

They were both seeing shreds of their pasts.

Alya was feeling again Lady WiFi's suit against her skin. I was the only thing of her akumization she remembered. She had thrown her phone on the far end of the room hours before. She recalled waking up and seeing Ladybug and Chat Noir bumping fists to celebrate the victory after everything had gone back to normal. She recalled the shame she had felt back then, how horrible it felt to be told to have become a monster and have terrorized all Paris without even remembering of it.

Nino wasn't feeling different. He recalled his brief conversation with Gabriel Agreste -oh God, he had thought that man was cold, but now he could swear he was more similar to an Akuma than to a human- after which he got akumized. It was easy to imagine how hard it could be to actually _live_ with that man. He recalled waking up on the Eiffel Tower, and only later he was told what happened. And just like Alya, he perfectly recalled the shame. He hadn't been able to look his parents in the eyes for a couple of days.

Both of them had dreaded one thing most of all. And now that thing had proven to be possible.

At first, Adrien had been akumized because... Well, they didn't really know why did he get akumized, but he did. Apparently, because of them and of his father and his obsession for perfection. He had become a terrifying monster ready to fry them like he later did with his father.

They didn't know his motivations for his second time, either, but it wasn't difficult to imagine it. Gabriel Agreste as target, plus the fact that he didn't attack Marinette straight away meant his friends weren't his target any more. Evidently his father had done something that upset Adrien so much to make an Akuma find its way to him, like Nino had hypothesised.

Mr Agreste's death was still clear in their minds. Many days would have passed before they could return to sleep properly, without nightmares filled with the stench of carbonized flesh and the image of Agreste's liquefied eyes.

But even more than anything else, a single thought was recurrent.

_It's possible._

Becoming an Akuma twice was possible.

They weren't safe any more.

  


Gabriel Agreste was pacing up and down his hidden lair restlessly. He wasn't transformed, and a little Kwami was hovering next to him, following his steps and quietly waiting for him to sit.

«I've done what you told me, Master».

«I know».

«I won't be able to akumize anyone else for a while».

«Schedule's busy».

«I lost control over Adrien».

«I'm disappointed, but I guess I should have expected it after the first time».

«Ladybug and Chat Noir didn't even show up».

«That's strange, but Ladybug's light came, so maybe they wanted to see if Black Chaos would lose against Adrien, that is exactly what happened».

«Was this really necessary, Master? Akumizing Adrien?».

The Master glared. «Yes, it was. Remember, you are my servant, and you won't disobey me».

«Y-Yes Master».

«My mission is to retrieve the Miraculouses, and you are my instrument».

«Yes Master».

«I don't care if someone gets hurt in the process».

«But Adrien...».

«Shut up!», he ordered. «I haven't forced my will on you only to have you whine and complain at all times. Adrien is Adrien, and yes, his life is expendable».

Gabriel Agreste stopped in his track at his Master's harsh voice. Nooroo was mad and evil, but he was also powerful. He couldn't defeat him in a clash of wills.

«Y-Yes, Master», he said, bitterly. «M-My son i-is e-exp-expendable».

«But», conceded the Kwami. «As soon as I will be free from the Miraculous, you can have your son back».

Gabriel wanted to scream at him, to tell him that he had already ruined, no shattered, his bond with his son beyond any repair.

When he had stolen the Butterfly Miraculous, he was only thinking to the power he could gain with it. Surely he didn't think he was throwing himself in a prison and snapping the key in half.

Nooroo's will was far stronger than his own. He was an Akuma without any butterfly. At all times.

  


Alya and Nino were too shocked and confused and dead-brained to care about formalities like not sleeping together. They drifted off slowly, first Nino, who was gently laid on the bed by Alya herself, and then Alya, who had placed herself at his side, intertwining her hand with his.

There was nothing romantic in the gesture. It was purely out of fear.

Both of them hoped that Hawk Moth couldn't akumized someone just for bad dreams, because otherwise they would have been his next preys.

  


For Marinette, time seemed to slow down. Every millisecond took ages to pass, while she rushed to Adrien. She was so slow. Everything seemed to hinder her. The ground filled with junk and trash, her unlaced shoes, even the air seemed to thicken just to stop her from reaching the boy in time.

Before she could even cover half the distance between them, he had already raised his hand and was ready to sink the stiletto in his artery, a mortal wound no hurriedly made bandage had hope to stop. She could already see him, slumped against the wall, a pool of blood spreading out from the severed vein, spilling out of the cut, where the dagger was still deeply stuck.

He seemed to caught a movement with his the corner of his eye, because he tilted his head up for the briefest of seconds, his eyes widening impossibly, surprised and terror written in them. Terror she would stop him, and then judge him.

She would do only one of those things. The entire world could have exploded in that very second, and she would still have cared only to remove the knife from his hands and throw it as far as possible.

She cursed herself for letting him go. She cursed herself for not having done more for him. She cursed herself for all the months she had been blind to his problems.

She cursed herself for being so damn slow.

However, the surprise factor made her crash into him -she wasn't exactly in complete control of her movements-, bang their heads together and push his armed hand down before he could lower it of even just a millimetre. His grip was strong, however, and the force of the impact still made the knife cut through skin and slice at the flesh beneath.

Leaving a long cut starting at her waist and ending halfway his hip.

She snatched the stiletto out of his hands and, with a force she didn't know to possess, snapped its blade into two, then hurling the two pieces down the alley, where they landed on a pile of trash and disappeared into it. Completely not caring about her wound, nor his, she hugged him tightly.

  


Adrien flinched as the pain shot through his nerves, but the fear of Marinette's reaction outmatched it of so very much. When she threw the dagger away with a disgusted look on her face, he was sure it was the end.

Then she hugged him.

«Cry», she commanded him, her voice on the verge of tears too.

He wasn't allowed to cry.

He wasn't allowed.

He wasn't.

He...

He burst into tears on her shoulder, his thin frame shook by all the sobs he had to restrain during all those years. It all came out, demanding its toll on him, but Marinette's simple presence was warding him from all the pain those years held. It still hurt so much it was almost unbearable.

Almost.

That was the difference. Before, it was just unbearable.

He didn't say a word, just buried his face in her neck and let it all out.

He still didn't know if she was going to help him, if she had forgiven him for what he had done, or what did she think about him. He knew _he_ hadn't forgiven himself. _He_ didn't deserve to be helped.

But he also couldn't make himself stop. After all the years he had craved to be able to finally cry, she was letting him without judging him. Not yet, at least. But the future was future.

He had stopped worrying about the future years before. The future could only be like the present. It could only be cold. Lonely. Hurtful. Sad.

He had learned that the future held no good for him, and that he had to find it in the present.

He knew he should have pushed her away and resumed running, maybe running to the Agreste Mansion that was, legally, still his home, where she wouldn't have been able to follow him. He knew he shouldn't have started to cry, or to show any kind of bad emotions. He knew she was going to judge him after that. He knew he would lose the only person he still had in a matter of seconds.

But it was a matter of seconds. He had learned to ignore the future, and in that moment even a few seconds were too far away. He had always acted thinking of the present. And the present was that for the first time since his mother's death, he was allowed to break down.

He didn't let her go.

But then she sobbed in his arms, beginning to cry as well.

She was scared by him.

Just like everyone else.

She didn't want to be there. She was Ladybug, she had to stop Akuma attacks and he was the most probable next Akuma. She was there because it was her job to protect Paris from every threat, especially Hawk Moth and his Akumas. He was one of those Akumas. He could still feel his dark side writhing inside of him, trying to struggle out and he knew she would have been his first target. Just like she knew. She had come to risk her life trying to prevent Akuma attacks.

She wasn't there for him.

He pushed her away, staggering on his feet. His right hip was bleeding copiously, warm blood spilling out of the deep wound she had involuntarily provoked as she saved him from a lethal haemorrhage. She was bleeding, too. Just as deep as his, a twin wound stretched from her stomach down her left hip, before stopping abruptly.

No, not twin. _Complementary_.

She had hurt herself to save him. To save Paris's demon.

_The answer is in his dark side._

The post of the commenter came back in his mind. He was Chat Noir. If Black Chaos was his dark side, he was also Chat Noir's.

_If x equals to nine, and y equals to x, then y equals to nine._

How long would it be before Black Chaos took control over Chat as well? A day? A week? Or maybe mere hours?

He pushed Marinette away, not wanting to hurt her even more. He felt one of the Kwamis -Plagg, given the moving thing had tail and ears- travel up to his neck. He didn't care. As long as he could run from Marinette, everything else was okay.

«I'm sorry, kid», he said, pressing his paw in his neck.

Being a god came with advantages. One of those was to know perfectly where to hit a human.

Adrien collapsed without a sound, losing consciousness in a split second.

  


She couldn't bear it any more. After everything he had been through, the thought of his death was _so_ unfair. Why did _he_ have to do something? It was the people who had hurt him in the first place the ones who should have done something.

She was the one who should have done something.

And yet there she was, slowly losing her battle against her tears. She was crying because of what Adrien had to suffer. She hated herself for it. _He_ was the one who had suffered, how did she dare suffer?

He stiffened in her arms, and then tried to push her away.

She wanted to speak, to say something -anything- to stop him, but her voice was blocked in her throat. After what she had done to him, how could she demand him to trust her? He had already shown he didn't want to be hugged. He had already shown he didn't want help because he felt like he didn't deserve help.

He stood up and took a few steps away.

Then he lost consciousness.

Finally finding her voice again to scream, she leapt at his side, terrified by what could have happened.

His breath was as regular as it could be after running and crying. He was alive, but unconscious.

_It must have been the shock_ , she reasoned, surprising even herself by still being able to reason.

As she slowly dragged him back to the bakery, she didn't feel the feather-light touch on her hand, nor the tiny electric feeling that shot through her arm.

  


«The connection is established», stated Plagg. «Are you ready for your first telepathic conversation with your Chosen?».

Tikki couldn't see in the dark without using her magic, and she really didn't feel like it. «I am, but I don't think Marinette is».

«How long will you wait?».

«As long as it's necessary», she replied.

Then she sighed. «I just hope it won't be long».

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit longer than the last one, because I planned to update it on Monday, but I finished it right now and so I post it.  
> Also, Plagg can do more than just whine around.  
> I told you Gabriel's evil for a reason.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien breaks. Not literally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out my home router still works, so I can update this now.

Sabine and Tom Dupain-Cheng were good people.

Of course, they were scared by Adrien, but it was a weak fear. It couldn't completely shatter the image of Adrien they had. They knew what happened, partly from the Ladyblog -they subscribed just like half of Paris-, partly from the news, and partly from Marinette. Hearing it from their daughter had been awful, seeing her big blue eyes filled with tears she didn't feel in right to release had hurt them deeply.

And it made them start to question themselves. They trusted Marinette, they had always trusted her and they would always trust her. If she thought that Adrien was innocent, with what right could they claim otherwise? She had been there when they hadn't, she had known him while they hadn't and she had reached out for him when everybody else hadn't.

She had told them of Alya and Nino. Of their initial shock. Of their hurtful accuses. Of their sudden realisation. And of their horror when she had come back from the ruins of Agreste Mansion, both of them crouched near the still steaming corpse of Gabriel Agreste. And then of their fear when she told them what happened.

They had overheard their conversation the day after Black Chaos's first apparition. They had heard Alya and Nino's confession. They understood why the two kids were so scared, also because they didn't feel much different.

Marinette had told them of what happened inside the ruins of Adrien's house. They had been surprised by the exchange of comparisons, especially because they knew that their daughter wasn't a fan of Maths. They had held their breaths when she told them of the fight, and they gasped in unison at the point where Adrien freed himself from the Akuma.

They had believed every single word. Marinette acted way too strange to be lying. She was serious, hurt surely but serious, and there was a force and a determination under her tears that shook them. Their little daughter held much more than the world was allowed to see.

They were proud she hadn't given up on Adrien, and even if they were utterly worried about her, they knew she was doing the right thing. They knew she would have done it just the same, had they forbidden her to. And they knew she would only suffer more, hadn't she done it.

When they had heard Marinette and Adrien's conversation earlier that evening, they had been shocked by Adrien's voice way more than his arguments. They were good at recognizing underlying emotions -they had to read their daughter merry expression every day to know if that despicable Chole Burgeois had picked on her again-, but no expert was needed with Adrien.

Hurt.

Desperation.

Loneliness.

Sorrow.

Sadness.

And a desperate request for help. In every single one of his words, it was carved as if by a knife. Every single one of his words was a plea for help. He was begging her to negate what he was saying, to say that he was wrong, that he deserved to be helped and loved and cared about. Had he been crying, it couldn't have been more clear.

They had called Alya's and Nino's parents, to tell them that their children probably needed time, but they had kept the calls brief. They needed time, too.

They had been thinking for over an hour when finally Tom stood up and sighed deeply, ready to speak his mind and try to find a solution to the horrible situation they -they, their daughter and Adrien- were in.

«I think we should consider the idea Marinette had», he said quickly, before losing the courage.

Sabine stared in silence. Silence was unusual in the Dupain-Cheng house, as baking and being a cheerful family used to be quite noisy, but now it filled the room, leaving no space for anything else expect an answer. Either yes or no, the difference between courage and cowardice.

«It is a pretty much extreme solution», she finally replied, choosing the narrow path of neutrality. «I'm sure Marinette means only the best, but it does have consequences and we must be ready to accept them».

Tom nodded, slowly losing all his remaining boldness in favour of powerlessness. He sat again, his shoulders hunching slightly. His eyes travelled across the room, recalling the many happy moments they had lived there.

He remembered how cold Adrien's house was. He probably had never had a happy moment in it after his mother death. What for them was normality, for him was an unreachable dream, a dream that lured him nearer and nearer madness until it pushed him over the edge.

No, they wouldn't be doing it for Marinette. They had to do it for Adrien, because he had lived in unfairness all his life, and it was about time someone kicked that unfairness out of the window and replaced it with a family and warmth.

He wasn't Marinette's father for nothing, after all.

He stood up again.

«We managed to grow a girl as wonderful as Marinette, I think we can manage anything this could mean», he said. This time, he didn't lose courage. It was still there, completely undeterred by the silence in the room, or by the earlier events. «Also, even if we can't say we are rich, we can surely say we aren't _poor_ ».

He had covered one of the points, the most practical one.

«Marinette would have wanted this», he added. «She proposed it by herself».

«But she wasn't sure of it», argued Sabine. «If she wasn't sure, how could _we_ be sure?».

«We will discuss this with Marinette, certainly», he replied. «But before we can discuss this with her, we must be ready for whatever answer we will get».

Sabine sighed. «You know that when she'll be back she'll devastated. Everything she knew about Adrien was a lie. She has been torn apart by his refuse for her help».

«I know», he said, putting a comforting hand on her tiny shoulder. «But if he accepts, she'll be so very happy».

«What if he doesn't?».

«Well...». It was the only point unstable in his whole plan. And it was so damn unstable. «I guess it can't go worse than this, right?».

Then, from the front door came a knock, followed by a call: «Mama! Papa! Help me».

Marinette.

«It's Adrien! He's hurt!».

It can always get worse.

  


«I tried, I really tried, but I couldn't... I made him cut his side... I should have been faster... He tried to run again... I think he went in coma... Oh my God, it's all my fault...».

To stop the continuous flow of sobs from the girl, Sabine placed a hand on her shoulder. «No, Mari, you did what you could. You couldn't have been faster, and even if you could have been, regretting your past mistakes will only make things worse». She bit her lip to decide if saying the next sentence or not. «It's what happened to Adrien», she finally said.

The change was immediate. Passing from tears to anger, jumping all the intermediate steps, Marinette was quick to reply. «Mama! It's not his fault! How can you blame him for having a devil instead of a father and having friends who turn their back on you when you need? How can you blame him for being helpless? _How can you blame him for having had a horrible life all along?_ We can't even imagine how it must have felt!».

Normally, such a snappy response would not have pleased the Dupain-Chengs, but now was exactly what they wanted. They wanted their daughter to come back from the world of self-deprecating, a world that could only bring sorrow and Akumas.

«Marinette... we thought about what you said when you came back».

«What?», she mumbled. «I said many things»

He told her, surprising her but in a good way, and bringing grateful tears in her eyes. Maybe she could do something for him, after all.

  


_«Adrien, no!». Black Chaos laughed and sent a powerful electric bolt through Alya, concentrating it until the poor girl literally exploded for the internal pressure._

_Wiping the blood away from his eyes, he turned to the other two teenagers in the room. «Wanna compare this to the method of a class, Mari?», he mocked the smaller girl, a wicked smile on his lips._

_«Adrien, please, this isn't you, this is Black Chaos, you have to fight him!»._

_He cackled maniacally. «You had to defeat Black Chaos when he was still just my dark side, Mari. You had your chance». He smirked. «Now Black Chaos and I are one person._ I _am Adrien,_ I _am Black Chaos»._

_«Adrien wouldn't do this!», she argued, crouching away from him._

_«Do you think so? He would». He laughed as he threw the Akuma out of his body, returning to his normal aspect. «You turned him -me- into a monster! You did! And now watch what you've done»._

_He grabbed Nino, who had been so shocked by Alya's death to freeze in the middle of the room, and lifted him in the air, holding him by the neck. He seemed to return to the world of living just in time to leave it again._

_He tightened his grip on his neck, squeezing the air out of his lungs and life out of him. He kicked and writhed, but Black Chaos was far too strong for him, even if he wasn't akumized. Slowly, he stilled and his arms hung dead by his sides. Throwing his body aside, he turned to Marinette._

_Her blue eyes were wide in shock and terror. She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came from it._

_«Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...»_

  


«...oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!». Adrien bolted in sitting position, waking up from his worst nightmare ever.

In a second, Marinette was by his side, sitting on the edge of her bed. She seemed to hint a hug, but then she decided for just grabbing him by the shoulders.

«Adrien, it was a dream, it was just a dream», she reassured him, but the terror in his eyes didn't fade. If possible, it increased. He tried to free himself for her grip, but finally she had had enough of being pushed away by someone who needed help so desperately and denied help to himself because his _fucking asshole_ of a father had taught him so with his coldness and distance.

She threw caution out of the window and hugged him again, this time with the unmovable decision not to let him go. Not in a second, not in a minute, not ever until he had calmed down for _real_ , not just pretended to, and possibly vented something out.

He drew a sharp intake of breath when her arms locked behind him, flinching and desperately trying to get away from her, but she was way stronger than she looked -she was Ladybug, after all-, and he still hadn't enough strength to beat her. He began to tremble, but her grip just tightened, his face buried in the crook of her neck.

«No... let me... go... no...», he started to writhe in order to loosen her grip and flee, but there was no way he could do it without an external help. «No... no... _please..._ ».

It wasn't fair. He was _pleading_ her not to help him. He was trying to return to his normal sorrow. All this because he thought he didn't deserve to receive help. All this because the _monster_ called Gabriel Agreste had instilled in him the obsession for perfection.

«Shut up», she snapped. «You need help and I _want_ to help you. I want to help you now and I want to help you in the future. I wish so badly to have helped you before».

«Marinette...».

«Shut up», she repeated. «Past is past, and I can't change the past, but I _do_ can change the future and the present. I can and I want to. I don't want you to suffer one more day, I don't want you to suffer at all. I want to help you and I _will_ help you». He tried to slip away but she just pushed him back on the bed, pinning him down. He had still to regain strength, and it was hours since he last ate, so she held him down with relative ease. But even if she could stop his movements, she couldn't stop his words.

«No... please, no... go away... leave me alone... please...», he murmured, his voice desperate. «No, please... please let me go... it hurts... please, it hurts...».

He still wasn't crying.

«Adrien, you're not with your father any more. You are with me. Please, _please_ , let me help you. I can't help you if you don't let me». She loosened her grip just enough to look in his eyes. So green, and so broken. «If it hurts, let me smother the pain. Please».

He shook his head, even if a sob had already shaken his thin frame. He tensed up to avoid any other unwanted shows of emotions, but his sorrow had turned into physical pain and was tearing him from the inside, loudly demanding to exit. He wanted to crouch, to roll up in fetal position, but he couldn't. «I can't. I can't. I can't. I...».

  


A second sob trespassed the barrier of tension in his body and found its way to his throat. He wanted to cry so badly, and yet he couldn't cry because he just couldn't. It was so unfair. He wanted to cry so badly...

But after all, Marinette hadn't judged him. Not yet, but she had looked sincere when she had said she wanted to help him.

She had gone after him twice now, offering him her help.

She had faced Black Chaos for him. It had been thanks to her that he had been able to fight off his dark side. Without her, he would never have been able to win over the Akuma in him.

Maybe she really wanted to help him. She was Ladybug, after all...

No. _Ladybug_ was Marinette. She had been Marinette all along. _Marinette_ was brave. _Marinette_ was selfless. _Marinette_ was kind. _Marinette_ was a hero. She was all those things with or without the Miraculous. Ladybug was just a mask to let her be the one she truly was.

Just like Chat Noir was just the name he used when he was really himself. Well, maybe not really himself, maybe he was a bit too cheeky and jokey and unserious, but surely he was more Chat Noir than Adrien.

He was completely Chat Noir. He was partly Adrien. He was a tiny bit of Black Chaos. A tiny bit.

_A tiny bit_ .

Black Chaos couldn't win over him, because he wasn't him. He wasn't a monster.

Maybe he could use some tears, after all.

Maybe he could use some comfort.

Maybe he could hug her so tightly  to squeeze air out of both of them's lungs.

Maybe he could keep her there for a bit longer.

Maybe a bit more.

And a bit more.

And more.

Maybe he could finally cry.

He broke.

  


As Adrine began to cry, Marinette relaxed a tiny bit. It had been difficult, more on a psychical level than a physical one, but difficult nonetheless.

But she had done it.

He had started to cry.

It was a start, at last.

She would have made sure he could get used to her closeness, because he really needed it.

And she needed to help him.

  


They were awakened by Marinette's parents, both of them with a gentle smile tinged with a tear of worry.

«It's time to go to school», bashfully said Tom, knowing that school wasn't so important when they had to fix a life. But normality would have helped Adrien. «And well, we thought since you weren't going to get up...».

«Thank you, Papa. Thank you, Mama», beamed Marinette. There was a large wet spot on her right shoulder, were Adrien had cried the night before, when he had waked up at three. Four hours before. «Is breakfast ready?».

«Yes, sweetheart», replied her mother, any sign of worry vanished from both of their smiles. «Is waiting for you, and if you hurry it will still be warm when you arrive».

«We woke you up a bit earlier because we have to get going. The offices will open in an hour and we need to get there soon», added Tom, trying to pass it as normal for bakers to leave in the early morning -when the clients would be more numerous- to go to public offices, but Marinette knew and Adrien didn't care. «Mari, you know where the keys are. Take them with you, today».

She nodded, climbing off her bed -and off Adrien- and heading for the kitchen. She stopped halfway and went back, took his arm and gently dragged him with her.

As soon as they entered the kitchen, she thrust a home-made _pain au chocolate_ in his hands. «Take this. Papa's croissants are the best in the world».

He was looking like a cat among tigers: really out of place, and a not-so-little-bit uncomfortable. Taking the croissant with a "thank you", he just stood there, in the middle of the kitchen, not hinting to sit or to taking a bite of the _pain au chocolate_.

«Come on, Adrien, take a seat», said Marinette, placing a cartoon of milk and one of orange juice on the table. «We still have an hour before school starts».

He obliged mechanically. He would have taken the chair farthest from her, but unfortunately there were just two, side by side, and it would have been unkind and rude to move it away. So he slowly lowered himself on the chair, eyeing if Marinette was coming closer.

She gave him all the time he needed to sit, then sat at his side, pretending not to have seen him flinch. «Would you like to know why my parents, who are bakers, needs to go to the public offices so early and, especially, _today_?».

«I... guess they have their business, whom I'm not allowed to know without their permission».

«I have their permission to tell you. Also, it was my idea in the first place, so...». She bit her own croissant, gesturing him to taste his. He obliged, barely noticing its wonderful savour, just to satisfy her. Had he to sum his recent life up -recent as "since his mother death"-, it would have been that: "just to satisfy others".

«I know it can be a bit blunt to say like this...», she said after gulping down a mouthful of croissant. «But you deserve to know, since it will influence you too».

«What?».

«We are going to adopt you».

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No white gloves for the weak-hearted.  
> Where did Marinette's shyness end up? Simple. She knows he's deep in trouble, so she need maximum focus. She decided that thinking of him as her crush would have been unfair (jeez, this word is all over this fic), like abusing of his moment of weakness. Also, she needs to know if the boy she had fallen in love with is really Adrien or not.  
> Short terms, she needs to fall in love again, because Adrien turned out to be a different person. (oh, he is still kind and all, but he's got some tiny problems...)  
> And we all know that she can act pretty much not-shy with others than Adrien.  
> I was thinking to make next chapter three pages of white spaces (or tabulations), with some dots here and there, with the summary: "Adrien's thoughts after the word 'adopt'". But then I decided against it. It could have been funny, and so lightened the atmosphere, but it would have been out of place.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien's reactions.  
> Will they be good or bad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains reactions that could be considered out of character. I already warn everyone that I don't see them as out of place.

That single statement actually threatened Adrien's life way more than his previous suicidal attempt. It made him choke on the croissant, that had stopped in his throat as she had uttered the fateful word, preventing him from breathing. To be such innocent-looking food, _pain au chocolate_ were extremely dangerous.

But most of the threat was that he didn't even think about trying to cough to clear his throat from the obstruction. His mind was desperately trying to wrap all that up, but it was failing miserably. And it wasn't just because he had very little air left in his lungs.

He managed to finally swallow and free his respiratory conducts only when he convinced himself he had heard it wrong.

«What?». Because she couldn't have said...

«We are going to adopt you». Okay, she had said it.

And this time he had nothing in his throat to try to suffocate himself.

The mere thought of it was absurd. Adopting him wasn't just helping him. It was something _huge_. It was giving him a family. It was taking care of him. It was _caring_ about him. It was finally realizing every dream he had had in the last years. Every one of them, because in his new family there would have been Ladybug, and that covered the remaining tenth of his dreams.

It couldn't be true.

After all in his life had gone so horribly _wrong_ , it couldn't be true. It couldn't be real. He had to be dreaming again, but he knew dreams far too well -they were his only happy moments apart from the ones with his friends or Ladybug, after all- and that wasn't a dream.

She had no idea of what she was going to try.

Or maybe she had?

After a life that was more like a curse than a gift, how could something so good be real? It wasn't possible. She had to be joking. Or maybe she was mocking him because she hated him for real...

No.

Marinette wouldn't have done that. Even if he still did not trust her, he did know her well enough to tell.

She meant it truly.

He began to cry.

  


She waited his response in tense silence, knowing that it would have changed both their lives to a point of no return. After he had cleared his throat, he hadn't done anything but staring at her wide-eyed, barely remembering to breathe.

She had waited a minute. And then another. She was starting to wonder if she had done the right thing. After all, doing the right thing doesn't stun someone like that, right?

And then he rolled up in fetal position, his croissant abandoned on the table, and started to sob uncontrollably.

«Adrien!», she exclaimed, jumping on her feet and reaching his side in a second. Also because the chair already were side by side. «What's wrong?».

No answer came from the trembling boy, whose sobs had increased in intensity and were now shaking his whole body. His face was firmly pressed against his legs, hidden from her sight, and his hands were crossed over his chest, embracing himself in a defensive gesture.

«Adrien, what's wrong?», she repeated, her worry increasing alongside his sobs. «Please, Adrien, talk to me, _please_ ».

Still silence. He didn't move from his position, if possible bringing his legs even nearer his body. His sobs continued to increase, but now that they were more audible she could recognize that they were different from his previous sobs. Those were lighter. Happy, even.

Then he shot out of his stillness and captured her in the tightest crushing hug she had ever experienced.

He was crying in relief. Gratefulness, even.

«It's okay, don't worry, it's okay», she reassured him, using the same words her mother had always used with her. «I'm here, I'm here for you, I got you...».

«Why?». The question made its way out of his silence and his sobs.

«Why... what?».

«Why do you do this?». He raised his head, and she saw that his tears had already drawn a path on his cheeks. «Why are you so kind? Why are you helping me? _What did I do to deserve your help?_ ».

«Adrien...». She was at loss of words. He had no fault: how could he think to have to do something in order to be helped? Nothing made sense. «You don't have to do anything to _deserve_ my help. I... I _want_ to help you... Why do _you_ think you don't deserve it?».

For the briefest second, her eyes found his, before he could bury his face back in his legs, releasing her from the hug. But it was too late, because that second had been enough for her to see the truth.

«Him... _he_ did this». Her voice was so filled with anger and spite that he flinched, even if he knew not to be the target of her rage. «He did all of this... _Your father_ did this...».

He shook his head in the umpteenth attempt to deny. «No... It's my fault... I wasn't enough... I should have done better... I should have been better... I...».

«Adrien, you already said that you don't know what is enough. For your father you were never enough». A sob escaped him as he embraced himself as if in pain, that wasn't far from the truth anyway. «You are enough! Whatever you do, or you will do, it _is_ enough! You can't be not enough because whatever you do is enough! You _are_ enough _for me_!».

He continued to shake his head, stronger this time. «No... no... stop... please, stop...».

«Adrien...».

«SHUT UP!», he screamed, leaping off his chair. «SHUT UP! IT HURTS! STOP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU! STOP!». He tried to get away, but she was already blocking the way to the door, so he just decided to run in a corner and sit there, his arms around his legs and his head buried against them, hoping she would leave him alone.

Hopeless hope.

«Adrien, I want to help you, please let me help you». She tried to keep her voice soft and reassuring, but instead it came out sad and on the verge of breaking. «What did I do? Please, tell me».

He couldn't ignore her. Even if he refused her offer to adopt him, he still would have to see her every day in class. And there was no doubt she would have chased him every day before and after class. Not seeing any other escape, he had to walk the only possible path: tell the truth.

He wasn't sure if he could do it.

«Cold... empty... all along...», he muttered, his words partially muffled by his jeans. «You... different... warmth... love... never had... too much... hurts...».

She didn't need a genius to get what he meant.

After all his life spent in his father's coldness and emptiness, in his continuous absence and in his obsession for his son's perfection, he had grown accustomed to it. For him, it was normal. But then he had become an Akuma, and all the secrets of his dark -dark not as "evil", but as "lived in darkness", and so horrible- life had been laid for everyone to see. In a matter of minutes, everyone he had always tried to keep away from the painful truth knew. But since Ladybug nor Chat Noir showed up, the first reaction of everyone was of fear and panic, that turned into violence.

When he had revealed his pain to the world for the first time, the world had kicked him unconscious. It had stuck with him, a dark reminder not to let anyone see his true emotions, the emotions under his perfect smile and bright green eyes. And it wasn't something so easy to get rid of.

Then she had tried to help him. Of all the things she could have done, for him it had seemed the worst. After a life of unfairness, he had just convinced himself that unfairness was normality. But when she had shown him the love and care everyone except him had always received, she had also shown him how much devoid of those love and care his life had been. Part of him was still trying to hold on his old habits. Part of it was simply horrified by what his old habits meant, and from what they had originated.

Maybe she was going too fast. He hadn't even got time to proceed the consequences of his first akumization that he had been akumized again and had been offered to be adopted. No one could take all that in at a time. That was what he needed: time. Time to think, to talk about it, maybe to cry a bit more and vent... She had so many things he could break to vent.

Maybe she was going too fast, but right now she couldn't see waiting as an option. Her only option was to help him, now and in every way she could. Also not an option was doing nothing.

«I got you Adrien, and I won't leave you. You have my word. I'm here for you».

His sobs slowly decreased until they were just occasional shivers. He was panting heavily, but at least he had let her lean his head against her. After what felt ages, he finally raised his head to say something.

«I...».

A very loud alarm made them both jump, startled, and shut him up. It's time to go to school, said Marinette's phone from his position of the table. And his voice was a continuous beep, the same one Marinette also used to wake herself up in the morning.

  


When they arrived to school, a bad surprise was waiting for them. Marinette was thinking on taking the seat next to Adrien's, so to keep him near, but she saw it was already occupied. And not by Nino.

By Chloe.

Nino was silently sitting at Marinette's usual seat, at Alya's side, in the second row. Sabrina was alone in the first left row, looking quite uncomfortable, probably not following Chloe under strict orders of the latter.

«What are you doing there, Chloe?». Her voice wasn't steel, but it still held force. And the glare she shot the blonde was no weaker. «That isn't your seat».

«It's not yours, either, Dupain-Cheng», she scoffed arrogantly. «Lahiffe left it empty and so I thought I could sit here. After all, Adrikins has been akumized because of you, Lahiffe and Cesaire. His so-called _friends_. It's time his only real friend takes her rightful place at his side. No more stupid DJs or clumsy seamstresses for him».

Nino glared, too, at the insult. «Stupid, eh? Tell me, Chloe, where were _you_? At daddy's?».

«Shut up, Lahiffe», retorted Chloe, profiting of the professor's absence. «He already told you what he thinks about you. You've hurt him. You are not worth to sit by my Adrikins's side».

«Adrien doesn't really think those things, Chloe, and you know it!», argued Marinette. Adrien was completely still at her side. He still hadn't recovered from what had happened, but he was doing his best to, especially he was doing his best not to cry while doing so.

«I was really wishing you'd speak, Dupain-Cheng», smirked the blonde, wickedly. «Since Lahiffe is at your place, I guess you would have taken his near Adrien».

The bluenette just stared, tensing up. Part of her had intuited what she was going to say, but her rational mind hadn't caught up with her insight yet.

«Let me quote». She cleared her throat theatrically. «"You were just the façade of a friend. You never tried to help _me_. You thought I was just fine. You did not care enough to see what there was under _my_ façade"».

Marinette was shocked. «I... I... I didn't... I wanted...».

«It seems, Dupain-Cheng, that _I'm_ a better friend than you are», she snickered. «You can take my place near Sabrina. Today _I_ sit with Adrien».

Marinette didn't know what to say.

Nino didn't know what to say.

Alya didn't know what to say.

Adrien knew what to say.

  


After all he had been through, Marinette had helped him in every way she could. She had changed his and her world to help him. Hadn't she given up on being Ladybug, he was sure she would have released much more than one interview to declare him innocent. She had wanted -she _still_ wanted, despite everything he had done- to help him.

He wasn't going to do it for himself. He wasn't going to fight for himself. He was going to do it for Marinette, because it was damn about time he began to repay her for what she had done. It was damn about time for him to respect the deal he had made with Plagg to let her help him and help her.

He just had to let himself be a bit Chat to respect the deal.

Chat Noir was scary. Chat Noir was intimidating. Chat Noir was charismatic. Chat Noir was strong. Chat Noir hadn't Adrien's problems to take care of. Chat Noir could do everything Adrien couldn't. Chat Noir could banter, argue and shout. Chat Noir could explode.

And it was explosion time. Chat Noir was perfectly what he needed.

«Black Chaos said horrible things I didn't like to hear again, and they were all lies. I do care about my friends, and even if I've done terrible things that deny me the right to call them friends any more, I won't stand by while someone dares to insult them», he hissed. Had he been transformed, his eyes would have been slits so narrow to be barely visible. «If she wants to, Marinette will sit beside me today. If she doesn't, then I'll sit alone. Let me remind you who was the one to run after me two days ago: Marinette. Let me remind you who faced Black Chaos after he'd destroyed my house: Marinette. Let me remind you who comforted me while everyone else wasn't giving a damn: Marinette. So get out of that seat and let her take it».

Marinette was shocked by his sudden change of aptitude, but evidently she took it as a good sign because he could see the faint hint of a tiny smile tugging up the corner of her lips.

Chloe was way more shocked. She jumped out of her seat to pleadingly grab his arm. «But Adrikins, I'm...».

He was barely listening. His mind was already telling him what to do, and was also showing him the various ways of how to do it.

_Do not let her hurt Marinette._

_Vent._

_Preferably, do both._

Get her away from Marinette and vent, at the same time. There was an option to achieve both goals in only one action and a few words. They weren't the best action nor the best words, but they had to be enough.

Enough. Again that word.

He wasn't used to it. Vent wasn't something he did very often. Particularly, he had never done it _that_ way, so he really didn't know where to start.

Plagg told him, snickering a few wicked comments as a surplus.

He thought he would have needed to draw a breath, but it wasn't the case. He gathered all his pain, all his anger and all his immense loneliness together, momentarily closing his eyes to prepare himself.

«Get. Off. Me», he said. It was a warning, a warning veiling the danger.

She didn't move. «Adrikins, I'm...».

«FUCK OFF, FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!», he yelled, shoving her hard enough to send her stumbling against her desk, but fortunately not falling. «GET FUCKING OFF ME!!! GET FUCKING OFF MARINETTE!!! GET FUCKING OFF EVERYONE!!! I DON'T NEED YOU TO WHINE AROUND ABOUT ME BEING YOUR "ADRIKINS"!!! I DON'T NEED YOU TO PICK ON THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD REALLY HELPED ME!!! I DON'T FUCKING NEED ANYONE TO DEPEND ON ME!!!».

Everyone was shocked. Shocked at the least, everyone was beyond any description of shock.

«I'VE HAD FUCKING PEOPLE FUCKING DEPENDING ON ME OR FUCKING DEMANDING FROM ME ALL MY LIFE!!! THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT!!!». For someone with no experience, he was doing a great job. «WHAT I WANT, AND I NEED, NOW IS SOMEONE TO HELP ME!!! I WANT SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME!!! I DON'T WANT A FUCKING SOMEONE TO LOAD ME WITH EVEN MORE FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY!!!».

And here he was.

The truth.

He had spilled it all.

For a second, it felt so extremely good to have relieved his heart from such a burden.

Then he realized he had said it in front of all the ones he had tried to protect from it, and all his relief evaporated into nothing.

Reality came crushing down on him.

He felt his stomach recoil.

His heart seemed to stop beating.

He could swear he would go in coma.

Every muscle in his body tensed up.

Marinette had smothered the loneliness.

After he had let out all his anger, he had only sorrow left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a real villain.  
> To someone his reaction can appear out of character and out of place.  
> Actually, I had a similar reaction after a conversation with my parents. They were trying to encourage me to go on and try again. I had had problems with something I was working on. I had problems for two months. I just exploded and told them that I was sick of wasting hours trying to get it right, I was sick of not being good at anything, I was sick of never getting anything right. After that conversation, I went to my room and cried.  
> An hour later, my mother came to sort things out with me. Now I'm fine, but I can swear back then it hurt so much I was really in pain physically.  
> A person can take only so much before exploding. Adrien had taken for years in silence. After his composure had leaked with Marinette when he started crying, the leak had let it all out when he had to fight for her. Remember he is selfless.  
> No more explaining. I think the reaction is right. They are kids: that's exactly the point. Usually kids are more affected by situations and response with surges of emotions.  
> By the way, I hope I won't have to use any more rude words. I actually don't like them (I never use them, not even to vent), plus in my house they are strictly forbidden, so I really don't have a great experience with them. Anyway, I know most people do use them, especially when venting.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations...  
> Bad ones.  
> And they are over the edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are a nice person that thinks that the people are always good, then don't read.  
> If you can accept your dark side, then go on.  
> Either case, hold your breath.

The class fell in a silence so thick it could be cut by a knife. It was a tense silence, filled with anxiousness and expectation. Everyone was waiting for Adrien to speak again, maybe to explain what he'd meant or maybe just to take it all back.

Chloe hadn't straightened herself yet, like everyone else staring wide-eyed at the boy, probably not even believing him or thinking Marinette had ordered him to say so, by the outraged look of her face.

Alya and Nino wore identical expressions. Both were quite surprised and taken aback by his words, and yet there was one thought that was nagging at them. A thought that demanded sincere apologies and support, something neither of them felt like giving at the moment. Alya began scribbling some messy notes for the Ladyblog, while Nino put on his earphones and set the volume at his maximum level.

Adrien was staring at the floor, not daring to move nor to do any other action that could have broken the spell that kept the class from killing him. Killing him with words, with judgements, with expectations, with _demands_. He had done the only thing he had not to do at any cost. He had done it nonchalantly, just because he was trying to vent, and he had done it in front of everyone. For everyone to judge by themselves. And the worst part was that he couldn't explain. He couldn't tell them the whole truth, just that tiny bit. And it was an easily misunderstandable tiny bit.

Marinette was way more shocked by the fact he'd said it than by his actual words. She had already guessed it -no, she had already read it in his soul-, but she would have never thought he would have said it in front of everyone, the ones who attacked him, like nothing, _just to defend her from a stupid sentence from Chloe_. Oh, Chloe's words had hurt, but she would have been able to withstand them, at least for his sake. But the way he had lashed out for her... it made no sense. He didn't want to let her near him, why should he defend her?

Unless...

Unless he had somehow saved some decency from his father and made it grow by himself. Unless he had always treated others so kindly because it was how he had always hoped to be treated. Unless he was a golden soul imprisoned in a dark labyrinth.

She remembered her dream. She had saved him in the dream, guiding him out of the maze. She had saved both him and Chat. Maybe there was some connection between Chat's and Adrien's problems.

Then she remembered a detail of her dream she hadn't noticed before.

Chat had _let_ her lead him, telling her where to go. He could see in the dark. He had her saving him and Adrien. Thanks to him, she saved him and Adrien. It held no sense, but rarely dreams held sense.

She knew what to do.

Adrien was a golden soul in a dark maze. To guide him out of it, she had to know the way. She had to have Chat telling her. He would agree, also because she wouldn't leave him much choice: either help, or out of the window.

She had always believed in nitid dreams. The messy, unfocused dreams she normally had weren't worth it, but the few clear ones always held a deeper meaning.

_How could Chat guide me? Or enable me to guide Adrien?_

The answer was so simple. But it held so much weight that she paled when she reached it.

_He could make me Ladybug again_ .

As Ladybug, she could make public statements -she hadn't forgiven Chat for not doing it-, she could have been there to save him from akumization, and she could have been a symbol of hope. But to have Ladybug back, she had first to be Ladybug.

She had renounced the right to wear the earrings because she didn't felt herself to be enough. Now she had to wear them again. And she couldn't afford not being enough, because she alone knew how deep Adrien's problems were, and only she could have made the difference. Chat could stop his search.

The problem was: how to convince him to give the earrings to her? He didn't know she was Ladybug.

Telling him? He wouldn't believe it.

Writing him? He would hide in the shadows, wait for her and then refuse to give her the Miraculous after seeing who she was.

Proving him? How? Just, how?

She had to work something out.

She felt her knees go weak. She had renounced to Ladybug because she wasn't good enough to be Paris's heroine, but now she had to become her again in order to help Adrien. She felt her confidence leave her.

She couldn't do it. She wasn't good enough. Ladybug was so far more than Marinette that she had no chance of reaching her level.

Her only chance was to have Chat make a public declaration about Adrien's akumizations, but it seemed like the black-clad superhero had been avoiding the subject. If only he could come... But that was unlikely, as it would have been the third consecutive day.

The professor chose that moment to enter the classroom, and immediately shut up every whisper and sent both Marinette and Adrien (although she ordered Marinette and _asked_ Adrien) to their seats. Chole had had the good sense to sit at her usual place before the woman's eyes could see her, but she didn't spare Marinette and Adrien of continual glares, since they were too far away for words.

Adrien didn't speak for the rest of the class.

  


«I think this is the right moment to talk to her», commented Plagg.

«Are you joking?», replied Tikki. «She would freak out in the middle of the class!».

«Adrien didn't freak out».

«Adrien was -is- in shock», snorted the pink Kwami. «And I bet he's used to you jumping out of nothing and scaring his soul out of him».

«I never did that».

«Three Chat Noirs ago, your Chosen was hospitalized for two weeks for an heart attack you gave him».

Plagg pouted.

  


The peace didn't last long. As soon as the bell rang a new wave of whispers ran across the class. However, before anyone could voice their thoughts, five people moved.

Marinette and Adrien stood up in unison, both clearly wanting to head out of the school for the lunch break. They had packed their things during the last lesson -Literature- and were ready to leave before anyone had even closed their books.

Seeing, sensing and partially anticipating their movement, Chloe stood up as well, blocking their way with narrow eyes. As she opened her mouth to speak -and probably say something not quite nice-, Nino and Alya leapt out of their seats, almost colliding with Chloe while heading out of the class, quickly apologizing to the blonde before disappearing out of the room.

Marinette narrowed her eyes. _Those two cowards_ , she hissed. _What's wrong with you? Fear Chloe will attack you too?_

She grabbed Adrien's arm -he flinched at the contact- and dragged him out as fast as she could. However, since he wasn't even trying to keep up with her, she was noticeably slowed down, and that resulted in Chloe blocking her way again, right at the school exit.

«What have you done, Marinette?», she hissed angrily. The fact she hadn't even bothered to use the surname announced storms. «What have you done to him?».

«What do you mean? I've helped him!». Her reply was just as angry as the question. «I've done what everyone should have done, I've understood him and helped him!».

«The Adrien I know would never have lashed out like that», remarked Chloe, her eyes narrowing as well. «What have you done to him?».

«The Adrien you know would have lashed out like that because it's exactly what he did just a few hours ago», retorted Marinette. «I've done nothing but helped him. What have _you_ done to him?».

«You always wanted to turn him against me! You were jealous of me!», shouted the blonde, completely ignoring her question. «You made everyone look insensible because you wanted to have him all for yourself!».

«That's not true! I've helped him!». Chloe's words would have bounced off her like nothing, hadn't she herself thought that many times herself. «I wasn't jealous! How can you say that?!».

«We all know you have a crush on him!», screamed Chloe, tears starting to form in her eyes. «You were jealous because I have been his friend for longer than you have!».

Marinette froze. She felt Adrien stiffening at her side, drawing his hand back from hers. She let herself be overcome by the desperation before going back to be herself again. It hadn't been the best way for Adrien to learn it, but she couldn't change the past, and she had always thought she would never have been able to tell him directly. She would have to talk it out with him, later.

«I wasn't jealous of you!», she argued, knowing that denying her first statement would have been useless. «And the fact that you did nothing to help him just proves that I have no reason to be jealous of someone who leaves her friends in trouble when they need her!».

The final drop.

Chloe stared at her for a couple of seconds, shocked and hurt, and then ran away, already bursting into tears. Marinette felt horrible for doing such a thing to another person, but she had other issues to work on.

For example, the fact that at her side Adrien was still as a statue, albino-pale and wide-eyed. She could clearly see he was trembling. She bit her lip, waiting for him to say something. He didn't.

«I... I g-guess we s-should go, now», she said eventually.

Definitely not the best way to find out.

  


Adrien's brain couldn't manage to work. The situation was so utterly devoid of any sense that he just couldn't have his brain process it before a good minute. And when his mind finally wrapped it all up and analysed it, what came out was so ironically and wickedly twisted that he would have laugh, hadn't he been disgusted by the sheer irony of the situation.

Apparently, Marinette had had a crush on him. She was Ladybug. The girl he had liked for over a year now had had a crush on him. They had never found it out. They had lost the chance of probably having a happy relationship. He knew both of them weren't ready for a that, now.

Finally, after a good half of an hour, when they had already made it home, he spoke, startling Marinette.

He began to laugh.

It wasn't a happy laugh. It was nothing of any positive emotion. It was humourless, broken, dark and layered with folly. It was the laugh of a madman, of someone who had just found out that his horrible life _could_ , after all, get even worse.

Marinette looked at him, her eyes wide in shock and horror. She had seen the spark of madness in Adrien's eyes, then.

«You know which is the funniest part, Mari?», he snickered, falling in another fit of howling laughters as she regarded him fearfully. She hadn't missed the fact that he was out of his mind.

That now, his mind, was in Black Chaos's evil hands.

«The funniest part is that _I_ am _Chat Noir_ », he continued, taking huge pleasure at her initial scepticism, slowly replaced by surprise and shock as she joined the dots, and then by horror.

Then, to his even greater amusement, she began to laugh as well, her laughter as mad and broken as his. For a handful of seconds, they remained like that, madly laughing in her room, before both of them stopped dead.

«Why didn't you ask me to prove I'm Chat Noir?», inquired Black Chaos. «You could have asked me to show you my Kwami, Bugaboo».

She opened her mouth to respond, but she instead said a question. «Bugaboo?».

He chuckled a bit more. _Oh, right, she doesn't know... let's fix this_. «Why, you think I don't know you're Ladybug?».

She glared. «How do you know? Tikki told you?».

«Nah», he replied, throwing himself on the bed. «She's too attached to formalities. I figured it out on my own. You know, I am not blind. I could see your earrings every day».

«Why this does not upset me?», she asked, giggling wickedly.

«Back to my question, why didn't you ask me to prove myself?», continued Black Chaos, grinning like a skull. «Maybe because Chat is so very... _attractive_?».

Normally, she would have groaned and rolled her eyes, but that wasn't normally. Her mind had been claimed by an unknown and unnamed entity that was controlling her. An entity Hawk Moth would have been pleased to give a name to.

Her dark side had finally shown itself.

«Like a black hole», she shot back, both of them falling back into broken laughters until two somethings shot out of Adrien's shirt -one pink and the other black-, hovering in the air between them.

«Stop! Stop now!», said Tikki, even arriving to slap both of them hard. «Stop!».

«Get off them, you monsters!», Plagg helped her, clearly speaking directly to their dark sides. «They are under _our_ protection!».

Black Chaos snorted and pushed the Kwamis out of the way. «You know, Mari... or whatever your name will be... you should really meet a guy I know».

«Is his name Hawk Moth?».

«Stop it! Get off them!».

«It is», he continued, oblivious to the two tiny gods in the room. «You would absolutely love him. He's _sooo_ generous. You know, he gave me so very much power, enough to blast my whole mansion into pieces, and then wanted nothing in return».

«Do tell».

«Well, he wanted something, actually», Black Chaos admitted with a small grimace. «But he doesn't ask _that_ hard. You were a Miraculous owner just like me, so you should be able to tell him to get lost».

«Interesting», remarked the girl. «Do you know where does he live?».

«I fear not», he sighed theatrically. «But if you stay like this for a while, he may try to catch up. You know, he's a lovely person. He hates to leave people on their own...».

«That! Is! Enough!», shouted Plagg, glancing at Tikki before taking her hand and pointing his other paw at Black Chaos. «Time to sleep, Akumas».

«I'm sorry, Marinette», sighed Tikki in a small voice, pointing her own hand at the blunette.

Bolts of bicoloured -pink and black- light erupted from their hands, hitting the two teenagers square in the chest and knocking them out cold.

«Oh my God», sobbed Tikki. «It wasn't supposed to end like this».

«I don't want to hear another expectation for at least a week», growled Plagg. «God, why did we put ourselves in so much trouble?».

«They were Chosens, Chaton».

«I know, I know», he snapped. «But this? Hadn't we acted, Marinette would have been akumized! Just like Adrien!».

«I guess we will have to talk a lot, after they wake up».

«A really big lot».

  


When they woke up, quite a bit later, they were feeling very dizzy, but both of them remembered the previous events and shot into awareness faster than they ever did before.

They were both where they had fallen. Plagg and Tikki still hovered in the space between them, talking in whispers and occasionally glancing at them. When they saw they were awake, they stopped their conversation and turned, Plagg to Marinette and Tikki to Adrien.

«We have to talk», they said in unison. «Now».

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo... I'm evil. I should be the villain, here.  
> I expect a mountain of negative comments on that. Not that they will make me change my mind. I think adding some more trouble to their already troubled minds is realistic. Have you ever passed a stage of your life completely buried with burden? I did. Three God damned years, with exactly zero friends to talk to and the aptitude of a Dark Lord (my mother's nickname for me, back then). I lived. We'll see if they can too.  
> However, this is my fic and my fic will come out unscathed from all the negative feedback. If I'll get any comment, of course. Why should I get comments? My work isn't that important... It's just a fanfiction after all.   
> The line between madness and evilness is extremely thin. Often, being evil implies being mad, and often being mad makes you act evil.  
> Simple, right?  
> This does not mean Adrien and Marinette are evil. Just their dark sides.  
> Okay. Next chapter, either conversation or a bit of Alya and Nino (their ship is called DJWiFi, right? Or maybe DjFi? Or DjWi? Oh God, I can't keep up with all the ships names...).


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very few Alya and Nino. Very much talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you remember me saying I had problems with my computer for a program? Well, problem solved. The same problem that gave me two crisis. The same problem that lasted four God damned months. It's finally solved. Thanks God... well, actually Thanks Dad, but that's being picky.  
> Enjoy the chapter... if you can enjoy angst.  
> PS: I'm not a native English speaker (I already said that many times), so I have a question. Is "angst" short for something or is it just a word? My native language doesn't have four-consecutive-consonants words in it, so I'm kinda new to them...

Alya and Nino were back in her bedroom, and this time the silence between them was tense, ready to be broken, but even if Alya was the one to actually open her mouth first, no sound came from her. Nino watched her attempts to speak for a few seconds before sighing, and so shattering the silence with that deafening noise.

«I guess we should talk to him», he said, his voice as tired as it could possibly ever be.

«I guess», she replied dully.

«To Adrien», he specified.

«To Adrien».

«About his akumization».

«His akumization».

«And the fact it happened twice now».

She flinched in response. «Can't we... wait a bit more?».

Nino was taken aback by that, and also slightly disappointed. She was the crazy reported who had gotten in serious trouble more than once before because she had always jumped into whatever Akuma attack she had had time to reach, and yet she was stepping back from facing her fears to help a friend.

«Alya...».

«It's not what you think, Nino, I'm not afraid». He raised an eyebrow. «Okay, I'm afraid, but that's not why I want to wait».

«Why, then?», asked the boy. «Give me a valid answer, and I will consider it».

«Adrien is not fine at all», she stated the obvious. «But it's not his physical health we should worry about... it's his mind».

«That's why we...».

«God, Nino, can't you get it!?», she shouted, suddenly enraged. «We are terrified by something he _has_ experienced first handed! And the first time, it was _our_ fault! Do you really think we would do any good!?».

Although the sight of a pissed Alya was terrifying and petrified most people, Nino was unimpressed. He had witnessed some of her outbursts, and at the moment he was just as pissed as she was. «Yes, I do! Marinette is doing something for him, y'know? If she can, why can't we?».

«Nino, you don't understand what you are saying... Adrien doesn't want help! Marinette is _forcing_ him to accept her help!».

«If it is help, it doesn't matter how you do it!».

«I does, for Christ's sake!», she yelled at him. «Marinette is just worsening the situation!».

«How are we supposed to act, then? Should we let him _die_ before we start doing something?! Do you want him to try and kill himself? He can do that, y'know?! Five fucking attempts! Five! What tells you isn't not going for a sixth?».

She paled. «We must give him time... he's a normal person, he can't just bottle this up...».

«He bottled up for years, Alya», said Nino, and his voice had a dangerous edge. «It's about damn time someone tells him to stop bottling up and start bottling out. I think what he did back in class was a good thing. At least, he vented».

  


Adrien and Marinette just sat, one across the other, far too shocked by the latest revelations.

«So, to sum this mess up, he's Adrien, you're Marinette, he's also Chat Noir and you're also Ladybug», began Plagg. «He's also a walking mess of social problems and you are a walking mess of insecurity problems».

The two teens said nothing, their gazes lost in nothing. Until...

«I don't believe it», said Marinette. «I don't, and I can't. This can't be true. It's too... too fitting and yet too unrealistic to be true. It's too unfair to be true».

«Life isn't fair», grumbled Adrien, his eyes still looking out of the window.

«It isn't», agreed Plagg. «But now it's time for you two to get on with this».

«He can't be Chat Noir», she said simply. «It's simply absurd».

«I...», Adrien began, but he was interrupted by his Kwami.

«Let me explain this part», he said. «Adrien has always kept his civilian and superhero personas strictly separated. No Adrien would have slipped into Chat and no Chat would have slipped into Adrien. This has lead, through time, to something awfully close to a double personality syndrome. As Adrien, he can have his problems, but as Chat he doesn't. He's simply another person».

«Plagg...».

«Shut up. If you think about it, however, you can see some common traits in both his personalities. His kindness, his selflessness, his charisma...».

«...his being a failure...».

«I told you to shut up, Adrien, don't make me stun you again», menaced the small Kwami. Adrien was unimpressed, but closed his mouth nonetheless. «Plus the obvious physical analogies. His sudden departures and returns, and so on...».

«It simply can't be true».

«Why can't it?».

« _Because it would be so unfair!_ », she shouted. «I had a crush on Adrien. Chat Noir had a crush on Ladybug. Did we really pass a _year_ tiptoeing around each other, _loving_ each other, without even knowing of it?».

«Yeah, it was pretty amusing the way you two clueless idiots acted», chuckled Plagg.

«It isn't funny! It's not funny at all!», yelled Marinette. Fortunately, her parents were still out. «We could have been together and avoided all this! All this could have just not existed, had we known about it! Do you think we liked being rejected all along!?».

For a second, Plagg looked sad. «No, you didn't», he said, briefly glancing at Tikki before shaking his head and returning to the task at hand.

«Many Ladybug and Chat Noir found out the other's identity only after his death», he stated. «Consider yourself lucky for discovering it when you still have time».

« _Time_? Time for _what_?».

«Well, you two _are_ in love...».

Adrien couldn't help it. He stomped his foot and snapped. «Do you think it's funny?! We are _not_ in the right condition for a relationship! We are _not_ in the right condition for revealing! We are _not_ in the right condition for Kwami talk!».

«There's no such thing as right condition, kid», replied the Kwami. «You two have enough willpower to beat Hawk Moth -at least you do, Adrien-, that is more than enough to accept this. Why can't you just accept it?».

Adrien lowered his head. He could lie to the entire world, but not to Plagg. «It is too good».

The Kwami nodded. The boy had passed through so much that he just couldn't believe something good was ahead.

«It would make the past too unfair to be true».

He nodded again. Marinette had always been so unsecure that she had never tried to win Adrien's heart _seriously_ , and now she was being told that she already had his heart, even if she didn't know.

«Once I had an Italian Chosen, too», said Tikki. «He taught me a saying: _"Chi non fa, non falla"_. It means that if you do nothing, then you can't get something wrong. It also implies that if you did something wrong, then it was because you did something. And doing something is always better than doing nothing».

She smiled weakly. «Now, since you two jumped school this afternoon, and you haven't gotten anything to eat since breakfast, why don't I bake something?».

«Are you thinking what I am?», asked Plagg, mischief in his eyes.

« _Tiramisu_ », she nodded.

«I _adore_ you».

«It's a dessert, not a cheese».

Plagg smirked. «I know. I had an Italian Chosen, too, you know? He was awful at cooking, but his father was great. And he could bake _tiramisu_ , too».

His smirk widened. «And, just to let you know, I can feed on everything. Camembert is what restores my energy, not what keeps me alive».

«You're a god, nothing _keeps_ you alive other than yourself».

«You know what I meant».

«I...». Tikki stopped as she saw that both Adrien and Marinette had fallen back into motionless and emotionless shock. She sighed. «I think we should calm those two first».

«How?», snorted Plagg. «They need time».

«Time we don't have».

«You were the one who wanted to bake».

«I wanted to bake, and meanwhile talk».

«How do you suggest to make those two relax?».

«I have an idea».

She hovered right in front of Adrien, looking thoughtful for a second. _«Adrien»_ , she said telepathically. _«Which has been the best moment of your life?»_.

He shook himself from his trance to think briefly about it. «I...».

_«In your mind, do not speak»_ . She knew it was basically impossible to lie with thoughts. Adrien was more than capable to try and tell a lie, if she didn't prevent him from doing so.

_«I... I think when Marinette forgave me for the chewing gum accident and... and she became my friend. My first friend»_ , he replied, slumping even more.  _«It's pathetic, right?»_ .

_«I find it poetic and romantic»_ , winked the Kwami, leaving him dumbstruck before turning to Marinette.

«Marinette, you don't know, but Plagg and I established a telepathic connection with you and Adrien. I can so speak to your mind, and you can reply».

The blunette looked sceptical. «How?», she said, temporarily abandoning her misery.

_«Like this»_ , responded Tikki,  taking her aback .  _«But now I have a question. You will just have to think the answer to make me see it»_ .

«O-Okay?».

_«Which has been the best moment of your life?»_ . It was a hard question. There had been many happy moments in her life. Which one was the best? Family visiting? Birthdays? Becoming Ladybug?  _Don't think about Ladybug!_ Or...

_«When Adrien gave me his umbrella»_ , she thought, and it was the truth.  _«The day I fell in love with him. Oh God, I'm a mess»_ .

Tikki smiled warmly.  _«Nah. You're just in love»_ .

Her eyes widened. «Wait a second... I-If he loved L-Ladybug... A-And  _I_ was L-La-Ladybug...  _he loved me?_ ».

Tikki opened her mouth to answer, but Plagg was faster. «He did, girl. You don't know how many hours he passed thinking about you». He scoffed. «He even wrote you short poems, though he always tore them to pieces after writing them».

«I guess he feared you would have mocked him», commented Tikki.

«N-No», replied Adrien, raising his head of even just an inch. «He w-was a pest, b-but he always w-wanted t-to help m-me... he wouldn't have l-laugh...».

There was an awkward pause. Tikki was regarding Plagg with surprise, while the embarrassed black Kwami tried not to meet her gaze. Adrien let his head fall again, groaning.

«What's the point in all this?», he asked. «It's clear we're two wrecked wrecks of people. What's the point in trying to help us?».

«We aren't fit for the Miraculouses», echoed Marinette. She was pale, and her teeth were sinking in her lip. «Why don't you... find other Chosens?».

Tikki looked at her for a very long time, while Plagg stared at Adrien. Then they both spoke their mind in unison, resulting in a mess of inaudible words. They stopped and Plagg gestured her to go first.

«One year ago, Marinette, you were _sure_ you weren't the Chosen. Time had proved you wrong. Now we're back to that, and it seems you have never been over it. But since you won't listen to me, ask Adrien. Ask Chat Noir. Ask your _Chaton_. Isn't he you best friend?».

She lowered her eyes. «I'm a mess», she repeated. She was stubborn, but even so her voice came out low, ashamed and scared. Fragile and vulnerable. Exactly what she shouldn't have been.

«No». This was Adrien. He had raised his head and there was a new fire in his eyes. The same fire that had lightened her own that morning, when she had defended him from his own accusations. «No, you aren't. You completely aren't a mess. To the cost of repeating myself, _you are amazing, Marinette_! What I said to Chloe I meant! Who else had looked out for me?».

She slumped, or at least tried, because in a second he was in front of her, cupping her cheek with his hand and making her look at him. «Who, Mari? Did Alya? Did Nino? _Did anyone?_ ».

She wanted so really bad to look away from his eyes. So green, and so filled with faith. Faith she couldn't take any more.

«Y-You a-a-are w-wrong... I-I...». She yelped as he crushed her in a hug. He had evidently copied her actions, from making her look at him to the embrace, but it didn't matter. She was in the arms of the boy she'd loved for over a year now, and she wasn't ready for him loving her. Why did Fate treat he so bad?

She began to cry, at first trying to push him away but then completely leaning against him. He trusted her. There was something else she needed? Hardly. Except, maybe, a direct confirmation.

«D-Do y-you... t-trust m-me?».

«I'd trust you with my life. I'd trust you with _everything_. I'd trust you with what I treasure most of all», he said, tightening the embrace as if afraid she might have escaped.

«W-What?».

«Your life».

Tikki let out a content sigh. He was _sooo_ poetic and romantic, even after all he had to endure. Plagg glanced at her and stifled a scoff. It wasn't wise to ruin her contemplative moments.

«Now, now», he said, breaking the atmosphere of the room. «Since you trust Marinette so much, why don't _you_ ask _her_? If you really are as bad as you think».

He broke the hug and backed off quickly, reaching the safety of a good meter distance from the others. Biting his lip Marinette-fashionly, he glanced at the girl. «She's far too kind to tell the truth», he stated. Yet, in his voice there was a crack, that leaked sadness and grief. That leaked how sick he was of never being comforted.

«It has been my fault. I have been the one to do all that. I've let everyone down», he muttered, his voice threatening to break in mid-sentence. «I should have done better than this».

«This isn't true, Adrien». Marinette's voice was back to serious and soft at the same time. «You've done many things to be proud of, and just because someone tells you you're not good doesn't mean you should listen to them». She listened for a second to Plagg, who was talking to her mind, informing her of a few facts she was quick to process.

And when she did, compassion spilled from her heart in a giant wave that trampled every one of her troubles. «You think it's your fault if she's dead».

He didn't respond, but it was clear she had hit home.

«Adrien, no force of this planet can stop death. Not even Plagg and Tikki. Otherwise, I guess they would still be owned by the first Ladybug and Chat Noir, don't you think?». She hinted a smile, but it fell quickly from her face, replaced by a frown. «It wasn't your fault. Nobody ever accused you of not saving your mother, then why should you?».

His frame was shaken by a sob, and Marinette readily enveloped him in an embrace, just like he had done with her. He tried to speak several times, but the tears in his eyes prevented him from uttering even just a single word. He cried for almost half an hour, before finally raising his head and looking at her.

«C-Can I-I r-r-really ju-just... l-let go?».

She nodded against his hair, and he went back to crying.

The two Kwamis looked at their Chosens with a smug expression on their faces. Or rather, on Plagg's. Tikki was smiling, endeared by their capability of pushing aside their own problems to solve the other's. Their capability of calming each other.

«I guess now it's really time to sweeten the situation, don't you think?», she chirped happily.

«I do», immediately replied Plagg, who had been waiting for her offer since she first mentioned it.

«Wait a second», said Marinette. «Something does not fit the picture».

The two gods tensed up. Their godly sixth sense was warning them.

«If you are Chat Noir, and you have the earrings, who sent the message to Alya and Nino?», she inquired, glaring at the Kwamis. «He wouldn't have done it».

«What message?», mumbled Adrien, his eyes still wet but wary.

«Alya and Nino said they received a message from Ladybug that scolded them for their lack of good sense». Before he could say anything, she added «And I completely agree with it. But if you didn't send it, who did?».

In the following silence, Plagg bashfully raised a hand.

«Sent, and spiked», he confessed.

Tikki began to laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something is starting to fix.  
> Something is going to fix.  
> Something will fix.  
> It's such a pity I'm such a liar.


	20. Tiramisu Recipe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiramisu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't really a chapter.

_Tiramisu recipe for six to eight servings, by G. Ouissememoir_

_Ingredients_

  1. _6 eggs._
  2. _Sugar (about five tablespoons worth of sugar)._
  3. _350-400 g of Savoiardi (sponge fingers, comes in 400 g pack at Lidl and Aldi stores)._
  4. _200-250 g of Nutella TM (can also be 300 or 350 g)._
  5. _500 g of Mascarpone cheese._
  6. _150 ml of coffee._
  7. _300 ml of milk._
  8. _Cocoa pow der._



_ Separate the albumens from the  yolks, careful not to let any of the yolk into the albumens, in two different bowls. If some yolk ends up in the albumens, they are to trash. A single drop doesn't ruin them, but three or four can. _

_ A dd the sugar to the yolks (if possible, covering them completely) and mix it until they because a smooth cream. Then add the Mascarpone and mix until they are once again homogeneous. _

_Whip (with hand whip or electric whip) the albumen until they became white and snow-like. Continue whipping for two to five more minutes to ensure of their status, then add a third of the whipped albumen to the cream. Mix with the whip (using an up-down wheel motion) until homogeneity. Add a second third and repeat the process, before adding the final third and amalgamating it as well._

_ After having washed the albumen bowl, put the Nutella TM in it, adding a fourth of the Mascarpone cream to it. Mix until you get a smooth brown cream, softer than the original Nutella TM but more solid than the other cream. _

_Now you just have to assemble the dessert._

_Add the coffee to the milk (you can do it in three times, adding a third of each, but the result is the same), together with a small teaspoonful of cocoa powder. Amalgamate it._

_ Dip a Savoiardo (sponge finger) into the mixture and then place it in the container in which you will be making your tiramisu. Repeat this process until you made a layer of Savoiardi on the whole bottom of the container.  Pay attention to lay all Savoiardi in the same direction, otherwise the layer could not be stable enough to support the weight of the dessert . (note on the container: plastic is fine, like a Tupperware). _

_Pour half of the Mascarpone cream in the container, smoothing it until it covers all the Savoiardi. The first layer of your tiramisu has been done._

_ Repeat the Savoiardi dip-and-place operation, this time changing the their direction so to form a grid with the biscuits below. Place the Nutella TM cream in it and smooth it like before. _

_Repeat a third time (if you are running out of coffee and milk mixture, add some more, always keeping the proportion 1 to 3), again inverting the order of the Savoiardi, and cover them with the remaining Mascarpone cream._

_You can eat it now, or after a night in the fridge. If you do keep it to cool a night, you can then consume it within two days. If you don't, you have to eat it all in one day._

_ Whichever option you choose, remember  to spread a light layer of cocoa powder on the tiramisu before serving. _

_ Et voil à, your dessert is ready. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't strictly a chapter. It's more just the recipe, as you can notice. I wanted to keep it separated from the rest.  
> The recipe is real, even if G. Ouissememoir has been made up from scratch by me. A random French cook who posted the recipe. (the tiramisu is an Italian dessert, but it made much more sense for him to be French, since the story takes place in France).  
> I know the recipe because I can bake an exceptional tiramisu. If you want to try, just download the recipe... ehm, chapter, and try it. Home made tiramisu is far better than the supermarket's one.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another talking chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The summary doesn't mean this chapter can talk, it means it has a lot of talking in it. Don't be displeased if it won't entertain you with a conversation about his dreams and projects for the future.

«You think this is a good idea?», asked Nino, glancing around nervously. «I don't think it's the right moment to...».

«You were the one who absolutely wanted to do something about it», said Alya, huffing. «Knowledge, Nino, is what we can do».

«Yeah but... his father?». He looked worried beyond description. «You have never seen him, Alya... he's made of ice. What are you gonna tell him? To fuck off?».

«Almost», she shrugged, and then grinned at his shocked expression. «Don't worry. If he's really ice, then we have to face him with fire. With emotions. Force him on our level».

«Force him to have our asses kicked out of his house».

«Don't be so pessimistic. He can be not nice, but he's polite. A cold politeness, but politeness nonetheless». She took a deep breath a rang the doorbell. «We just have to be brave for a quarter of hour».

«I don't know if I can».

But there was no stepping back, now, because in a few minutes they would have faced Gabriel Agreste, a man who was as rich as he was cold. And intimidating, too. Nino remembered his fear from the day he became the Bubbler.

Also because said man appeared at the front door and marched all the way to them.

«W-What?», Nino had time to stutter before they were coldly invited inside.

«I remember you, young man. A year ago you came to tell me how I should treat my son». He paused shortly to glance at Alya. «And this must be Miss Alya Cesaire. I wonder where is Adrien's third acquaintance, Miss Dupain-Cheng».

«I... I d-don't know... sir». Nino remembered the appellative just in time to sound polite. «I... haven't seen her s-since the end of t-the school».

He hummed thoughtfully. «I see. Why have you come? Adrien is not here».

Alya and Nino exchanged a glance. «He's... not?».

«No», coldly confirmed Mr Agreste, continuing to walk toward the mansion. «Yesterday, he didn't return».

«But...». Alya's voice almost trailed off under Gabriel's piercing gaze. «B-But then where i-is he?».

«I don't know», admitted the man. «Why don't you ask your friends? I'm sure you will receive more answers than from me».

«But... he's your son!», exclaimed Nino, completely forgetting the appellative. «How can you not know?».

For an instant, Gabriel's unreadable expression cracked. Sadness, worry and desperation surfaced in his eyes, and he tore his gaze from them to look at the cloudy sky. Then the second passed and he was cold again. «In case you haven't been informed, Adrien is no more my son. I erased our bond after he... purposefully... killed me».

«WHAT!?», yelled the teenagers in unison, both really tempted to jump at the man's throat and tear him into pieces. «YOU DID WHAT!?».

«I do read your blog, Miss Cesaire», he coldly informed them. «Didn't you said that Adrien fought off the Akuma?». A single spark of pride flashed in his eyes. «That he beat Hawk Moth? Then it was _his_ doing, not Hawk Moth's».

Alya opened her mouth to protest, but then closed it. He wasn't wrong, she had written that Adrien had defeated the Akuma, but she had meant it to be good, she had meant that Adrien was the hero of the situation. Not the villain. She had written what had driven Gabriel to push him out of his family, as if he hadn't lost enough by himself. Nino was looking at her, horrified.

«Also, why didn't Ladybug or Chat Noir acted?», he continued, mercilessly. «What was different? Maybe he did something so bad that he _deserved_ what has happened to him».

Both teenagers forgot their shock in a second, filling up with anger and outrage. Alya wanted to speak, but Nino was faster, stepping in front of Mr Agreste with crossed arms and glaring at him. «How can you say something like that?! Adrien didn't deserve what has happened to him! He doesn't! It wasn't his fault! He's being accused for something he had no control about, for something _others_ had control about and yet they did nothing! The same others that now are blaming him!».

Somehow, he managed to smother his anger long enough to reason. «Since you can't tell us where is him, I guess we have nothing left to talk about», he spat, turning and marching out of the courtyard with Alya.

  


Behind them, Gabriel was fighting a hard battle against Nooroo, the Butterfly Kwami, to regain control of his body.

And his stronger argument was:

_«He won! My son won!»_ .

  


«So... do we have the ingredients?», asked Tikki, looking at the table in front of her. «All of them? Plagg, back off from the sugar. You know you get hyperactive».

The black Kwami grumbled a protest and let go of the jar of sugar. «I guess I do», he admitted begrudgingly. «And I guess we have all the ingredients».

«Okay», she said, turning to the two humans, both curled up in their chairs. «You two, come here and help me. I'm not quite the size to bake with those utensils».

They didn't move.

«Come on, help me», she repeated, again without response. «I thought we had solved that problem».

«Nah», said Plagg, bringing her a spoon. «They still need time. A lot of time... or maybe not so much... but they won't exit their catatonic status for a while».

«Plagg...».

She was left open-mouthed as the tiny god of Destruction grabbed Marinette's right ear and pulled her out of her chair. As Adrien stood up to stop him -and probably scold him too-, he wickedly snickered and sent the girl crashing into him, with a force much superior to his apparent small size. Almost on instinct, he caught her but, almost as habit, he lost his balance and fell on the kitchen's floor.

«Are you okay?», he asked her, not worried as much as annoyed. By Plagg. «He's not bad... but sometimes he's a jerk».

«I'm fine... thank you», she nodded slowly. However, Plagg's plan wasn't just having a laugh at their expenses, but also shortening the time they would have needed to get to the "right condition". Especially because he wanted his dessert.

Like he had planned, they didn't move.

Tikki silently hovered next to him, amusement written all over her face. «So, after all, you do remember the lessons I gave you».

Hadn't he been pitch black, he would have turned crimson. «I-I... Actually...».

«What, are you saying you've got a heart under all that whining and complaining?», she teased him. Well, Creation didn't mean Goodness. «Are you saying that, after all, you _do_ like when our Chosens are in love?».

He muttered a curse about his usual bad luck, but Tikki wasn't done. «Don't call in luck. You use bad luck, you aren't unlucky by yourself. Answer my question. _Do you like seeing them together?_ ».

He averted his gaze from hers. «Mmh mmh mmh».

«Speak in one of the languages I know, please».

«Maymmh mmh mmh».

« _Plagg_...».

«Maybe I do», he finally admitted, his voice so small to be almost inaudible.

Yet he was surprised when she didn't laugh, but smiled warmly. «I knew you've got a big heart, _Chaton_ ».

«This is _Marinette's_ surname for _Adrien_ ».

«And so?».

«Nothing», he shrugged. «Which one do you prefer: My Lady, Princess, Bugaboo or Buginette?».

And then she laughed.

«Marinette...». Adrien's voice was heard again, and promptly interrupted.

«Not yet», replied Marinette.

«I don't know what you thought I was going to say... I wanted to ask you... if... if you'd be okay... you know... with helping Tikki with the cake?».

A small pause. «Another minute».

«Don't worry about time», he reassured her. He too wanted to just stay like that and let all his problems float away, but he knew that after a revelation like the one they had just passed, they needed not to think too much about it. Like a dam: if you overload it, you have to discharge the excess, but if you discharge it too fast, the dam crashes. Their mental health was the dam, overloaded with the revelation and their problems.

Ten minutes later, they finally got up and began preparing the dessert, careful to follow the right steps from the recipe Tikki had downloaded with Marinette's problems.

«Marinette?».

«Mmh?».

«I... I mean...». He stopped and sighed. «I suggest you to have a talk with Tikki. You both had been upset when you renounced to be Ladybug».

She bit back the tears. «Y-Yeah... I... I'm s-sorry, I...».

«You don't have to be sorry», he immediately said. «You had your problems. No one can ask you to fulfil such a duty when you already have to deal with your problems».

«You continued to be Chat Noir, though...».

«You didn't fully understand what Plagg said». Adrien sighed again. «I gave up on dealing with my problems years ago, Marinette. I just couldn't do anything about them. As Chat Noir, I have a freedom I've never experienced as Adrien. I would never renounce to my alter ego».

«Expect in case you'd die», he then added.

They stood in silence for a couple of minutes, not noticing that their Kwami were both gone.

«Adrien?».

«Yes?».

«Do you think we will ever get out of this mess?».

Small pause.

«No», he finally said, slumping. «Until now life has just kept getting worse. I don't think this will ever change for me. For you, though... Maybe you can».

«Either we come out together, or I won't leave you alone». She shivered. «You've been alone for too long».

There was another pause.

«Thank you, Marinette».

«Thank you, too, Adrien».

«Now, I know it still feels strange to talk about the Miraculouses, but where are our Kwamis?».

  


Plagg _did_ try really hard not to end up alone with Tikki, because he knew her well enough to know that she was going to prepare all sorts of plans to get Adrien and Marinette together. And not just "close".

However, the pink Kwami was used to his hiding skills, and turned out to be, as always, a great huntress. She found him under Marinette's bed, rolled up to pass as dust and dirt. She recognized him instantly, and comfortably settled beside him.

«So, Plagg... What do you suggest?».

«Stay here, don't breathe, don't move, don't think and pretend to be dead», he retorted.

«Don't be grumpy. You gave me some of the best counsels I've ever heard».

«Why don't you help them baking?», he mumbled. «I'm not a love counsellor».

«Come on, I'm just trying to make them happy».

«They are fairly happy by themselves».

Awkward silence.

«Okay, no, that was a lie, they're not happy by themselves, but should I do about it?».

«I don't know... You could have them go to the park together... Or you could have them go to buy an ice cream together...».

«Not convincing me».

Tikki smirked wickedly, playing her last and best card. She had used it only a few times before. «I bet I can get them to kiss before you do», she stated matter-of-factly.

He jumped up, outraged. «What!? What do you bet!? Are you ready to lose!?».

Her smirk turned into a grin. He had always been competitive. «Whatever you want».

«Whatever?».

«Whatever?».

«Whatever whatever?».

«Whatever whatever».

«Deal».

She smirked again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Again... It's difficult to write when the few hours you slept tonight had been haunted by terrifying nightmares...  
> I'm in trouble with Marinette's Akuma name. Any suggestion? I thought of Ladynoir... but it wouldn't fit the atmosphere...


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here everyone is really in deep shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is short. You can see I'm updating this on 14th, but actually for me it's still 13th night, so go easy on me. I just wanted to write this before dying in my bed.  
> Oh, and I got Marinette's Akuma name.  
> A small warning for self-harm.

They had finished preparing the _tiramisu_ and had put it in the fridge, deciding to leave it there for later. And then they had parted, Adrien to rest a bit while Marinette went to talk to her Kwami. Unluckily for her, however, talking to just one of the Kwamis turned out not to be an option, as Plagg gave no sign of leaving when she asked him to, and Tikki didn't kick him out, so she assumed her Kwami wanted him there.

«Tikki... I think we... we should talk», she said, ashamedly looking at her shoes. «I... I wanted to say... to say that I'm... I'm sorry... I'm sorry for what I... for what I did».

Immediately before he could utter a sound, Tikki clasped her hand over Plagg's mouth. «Don't worry, Marinette, it's fine. Also, you have suffered enough and recognized your mistake».

«Yeah», she sighed sadly. «It seems I can't get anything right, huh?».

«Marinette...».

«I mean», she continued, her eyes lost. «I failed to recognize my own partner in the boy I've been in love with since forever. I failed to be Ladybug. I failed to prevent Adrien from being akumized. I...».

«Either you are a hypocrite, or you're the most clueless girl in the world», spat Plagg, freeing himself from Tikki's grasp. «One, I was actually _my_ fault if Adrien got akumized in the first place, and so I guess it's my fault also if he got akumized again. Two, magic prevent you two from being recognized easily. Oh, if someone tries really hard, he could figure you out, but not if they are unobservant. Three, you can't fail to be Ladybug. I mean, your training isn't over yet. Don't you know that your Miraculous still has some tricks up its sleeve? Didn't Tikki tell you?».

Evidently Tikki hadn't told her, because her look was blank.

«You are a fine Ladybug. I won't say you are the best, because the first Ladybug was also a wizard, and so she was kinda advantaged, but you surely are good at it». He scoffed. «Why do you kids have to always have this self-esteem problems?».

«What do you mean?».

«Later».

«Well, then», she agreed, her eyes narrowing, «Back to the part where you say it had been your fault. Explain. And quickly».

«I... well...». Plagg was uncomfortable under her gaze, something that didn't happen often. «I... kinda scolded him... for something he didn't do... just to get him to understand that he had to be even more of a superhero because you weren't there any more...». His voice grew small under her enraged glare.

«Did you tell him he wasn't _enough_? You, the sentient being he probably trusts most?». Her voice was so very near yelling. «What else? Did you mocked him about how his love for the amazing Ladybug had turned out to be love for the clumsy Marinette?».

She had meant it as a threat, not as a real question, but then he bit his lip and nodded. «Kind of... I guess I kinda told him that he was idolizing Ladybug and asked him if now he would have idolized you too...».

She began to see red. «And is there anything else I need to know about how people mistreated him before I start murdering someone?», she asked icily.

Plagg and Tikki weren't used to lie, especially on important matters other than their Chosens' identities, so they chose to tell the truth.

«Well... there's his phone you should have a look at».

She narrowed her eyes, but waited for him to fetch the device and unlock the screen before snatching it out of his paws. He then hovered next to her, taking a deep breath before addressing her to the right places.

One was a text document. The other...

« _He subscribed to that asshole blog?_ », she hissed so venomously that both Kwamis shivered. «And why no one stopped him?».

Ashamed silence followed. With a scoff, she cancelled the subscription, and opened the text document.

She read the title and went white. And when she scrolled down, reading a few lines here and there and so confirming her fear, she could have sworn she was on the verge of fainting.

It was basically a diary.

His diary.

«My computer», she said, fetching a cable and connecting the two devices, promptly copying the file in her desktop. «I have to read».

«Marinette, don't do this», said a soft voice from behind her. But incredibly, it was Plagg. «It's not a good reading. You already know that stuff. It can only make you feel even worse».

She continued, undeterred. She was stubborn, and surely she was strong enough to endure it. She had to know what Adrien had endured.

As it turned out, she wasn't strong enough. In her defence, no one would have been strong enough to read it all in one swoop.

Her vision began to blur at his mother's death. She began to cry when he started to wound himself. Cuts she had never seen, and that now she felt on her heart too. She broke at his first suicidal attempt, but she managed to go on. She should have stopped there.

Because what came after was way worse.

The first part had been an emotional mess. Adrien had written while crying or hurting, and so his pain had transpired into the writing. But the second part was emotionless. He reported of facts that made her wince in horror with the same tone he would use to state the obvious. It was the seemingly clear writing of a madman lost in his grief, or the apparent sanity of someone who had just lost everything, and simply couldn't accept it yet.

She finished the diary in three hours, three hours of pure pain. She was shaking uncontrollably, sobbing her soul off against her legs. Plagg was right: it only made her feel worse.

  


«Hurry, Nooroo, I think this is a good chance», Hawk Moth urged him forwards, storming in the observatory. «She seems to be quite upset».

Nooroo frowned slightly. Hadn't he told him there was a possible victim, the man would have been as ignorant as the observatory walls, but having another chance of breaking out of his Miraculous prison was too good to be lost.

«Don't fret», he said soberly. «We have time».

«But if she calms...».

«I will pretend you aren't urging me like this only because you think she can actually try to do something to help your son while akumized», snorted Nooroo.

Gabriel Agreste grimaced. «While I _am_ at your service, Master, I do still own my thoughts».

The Kwami scoffed his agreement while the man transformed.

  


She had only one idea on how to get rid of those horrible thoughts. She knew that it wasn't the right thing to do, but she couldn't care less. Adrien's _entire life_ hadn't been the right life to live, but he had had to live it nonetheless. Right and wrong were hardly applicable to the situation. Normal and awfully twistedly horribly unfair had replaced them.

She knew she would regret it later, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She didn't know when she had exited the house without being seen by anyone. She didn't know where she had wandered. She didn't know why she had done it.

Until she found herself in a small alley, her hand clutching the green handle of what was once a knife. She brought it home silently, not wanting to let anyone see it, and cleaned it thoroughly until it shone brightly.

Then she took a deep breath, more to steady herself than to calm down, and pressed the sharp broken blade against the skin of her left shoulder, drawing a droplet of blood. Hissing a curse against all the ones who had made Adrien miserable, including her own insecurity, and then she dragged the shard of metal across her neckline. Blinking rapidly for the pain -it wasn't a very deep wound, however-, she removed her shirt and positioned the knife exactly over her heart.

Oh no, not so fast. She still had to help Adrien. Also, she didn't know if she had the courage to actually stab herself like that. So she just dragged the stiletto across her chest and down to her stomach, until it met the healing wound that she procured herself when she saved him from himself.

This time, the pain was way more. She clenched her jaw, stifling whatever sound was coming up her throat. With a shaking hand, she brought the knife back up, ready to trace a twin wound, but something made her change her mind and scream terrified.

A small black fluttering dreadful scary Akuma butterfly that entered the knife without a second thought.

  


_«Hello, Crimson Lady. I am Hawk Moth»._

_«Everyone is so unfair. Your friend deserve way more than what Life had given to him. He deserves what_ you _can give to him»._

_«Because you are better than the others, and this is yours chance to prove it»._

_«But... nothing comes with nothing. The price of Adrien's happiness is that you take me Ladybug's and Chat Noir's Miraculouses»._

_«But before you can help you friend, you will need three things»._

The transformation was slow. The first thing she realized to be wearing was a red skin-tight suit like her old one, but with no dots or mask.

_«First, you need armour to protect yourself from your insecurity. You need to be confident if you want to have a chance of beating those two b... kids»._ Was Hawk Moth trying not to be rude?

Black energy flowed through her and former said armour. Bracers and armguards, gauntlets, shoulderguards, a scale plate, jambs and greaves together with armoured boots. It didn't cover every inch of her, but it was enough.

_«Second, you'll need a weapon. May your determination be it»_ .

The handle of the stiletto was overloaded by black energy, and what came out was scarier than the scariest horror film she had every watched. She was now gripping a long sword, with a black hilt and a crimson blade. Like blood. She didn't know, but technically she was wielding a so-called bastard sword, or one and-a-half-hands sword. The word bastard had been introduced as the sword was a cross-bred between a one handed sword and a two handed one.

_«And third... power»._

Physically, nothing changed. But she knew that something had changed. She was sure.

«And now let's take care of a few things», she grinned, jumping out of the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is bad... but it's normal for a fanfiction rated M and tagged with Angst and Heavy Angst to be bad.  
> About Marinette's self-harm actions... It's actually from someone with experience. I did hurt myself, and I did do it with a stiletto, although I never went to far and now I only have a few darker lines of skin on my arms and one on my chest.  
> Seriously, my mind is okay. I just didn't want to vent on my already pissed parents. I did it just once. IT hurt even less than punching the wall...  
> And, about the Akuma's armoury and weaponry, I speak from experience, too. I've attended courses of sword fighting. (hear me: sword fighting, not modern fencing). I just thought a bit more details could work.  
> Now I'll probably train a bit and then fly to bed.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cat fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, let's say the truth.  
> I'm a sucker for happy endings. This is not an happy ending, it's not even an ending, but I wanted to say it.  
> I write of angst because after things go bad, it's so wonderful when they start to go good again!  
> Oh, but this is the chapter of Crimson Lady's fight. Oh. Maybe such a confession is out of place...  
> Well, let's make another confession...

When she found them, Alya and Nino where marching right toward her house. She saw them while jumping over the roofs, something she was so used to do thanks to her former being Ladybug, and decided to start with them. Or even better, she decided to use them.

As she landed in front of them, her black armour not sparkling a bit in the dying light of the sunset, and addressed Alya a wicked smirk.

«Oh oh, look who I found. The Ladyblogger no less», she chuckled evilly. «It seems I have something I have to do for which I need your service, Alya».

Since she wasn't wearing any mask or helmet, the two immediately recognized her. But if it helped them to see that it was one of their best friends, they didn't show it one bit. Instead, they chose to freeze for a couple of seconds before turning to run headlong up the street, screaming terrified.

Cackling at their naiveness, Crimson Lady had to jump only twice before landing in front of them again. «Running, eh? It won't help you, though... Alya, give me your phone». When the brunette didn't move from her paralysis, she grew impatient. «Give me you phone, or you'll be the first to have the honour to be impaled by my sword!».

Shaking visibly, Alya handed out the device, unlocking it for good measure, and staring fearfully while she tapped it furiously. «M-Ma-Marinette? W-What h-happened?».

She scoffed. «I'm no more Marinette. Marinette is a stupid clumsy girl who can't even help Adrien. I am Crimson Lady, and I will finally punish all the one who hurt him». She seemed to finally reach her destination on the phone, because a small smirk tugged up the corner of her mouth. «Oh, here it is».

«W-What ha-happened?», asked again Alya, wiping tears of fright off her eyes. «W-What...».

«Don't pretend you don't know!», she snapped, glaring at her. «You are responsible just like the others! You hurt him! You hurt him with your blindness and your uncaring behaviour!».

«Marinette, I...». Alya's voice turned into a scream as Marinette leapt forwards and slashed a long cut on her shoulder.

«Shut up, or I will have to shut you up», she growled. «I'm sure Ladybug and Chat Noir are on their way here, so stay silent while I get rid of them and don't make me get angrier than now».

«I...».

With a single, fluid movement, Crimson Lady spun and beheaded Nino. He had hurt Adrien, too, and he was way less important to Ladybug and Chat Noir. Their biggest fan in danger? Way more stimulating.

She just grinned at Alya's horrified screams, screams that only suggested that she had done right. Alya was starting to pay for what she did to Adrien. She update the new post on the Ladyblog, where she said that hadn't Chat Noir and Ladybug shown in twenty minutes, Alya would die.

Behind her, the brunette had stopped screaming. When she turned, she saw her kneeling beside the headless body of her friend, her jeans soaking up with blood. It was a pleasant sight...

  


_«No! You monster, not Nino!». Marinette was out of herself in anger and pain. «Not Nino, no!»._

_«He deserve it», shot back her dark side. «He deserved every bit of it»._

_«YOU KILLED HIM!!!», she yelled. «HE WAS MY FRIEND!!!»._

_«A friend that turned his back on you when you wanted to help Adrien, a friend who turned his back on Adrien himself even after he saw how miserable he was?». Scoff. «I don't see a friend»._

_«YOU KILLED HIM!!!», Marinette continued to shout, pushing harder against her enemy. «I'LL KILL YOU!!!»._

_«Unlikely», chuckled Crimson Lady. «You are clumsy, shy, stumbling, messy Marinette. How can you defeat me?»._

_One single sentence came to Marinette's mind. A statement that could mean the different between victory and loss._

_«Adrien's will was stronger than Hawk Moth's». The very same fact she had realized just before Black Chaos's second appearance. A fact that now held way more weight than before. She would have to use it in order to save all the ones she could save._

_«Adrien's will was stronger than Hawk Moth's»._

_«Adrien's will was stronger than Hawk Moth's»._

_«Adrien's will was stronger than Hawk Moth's»._

_«My will will be stronger than Hawk Moth's»._

  


...although it distracted her from the black-clad form that jumped down a building and landed right beside her. Before she could do anything, his staff hit her back hard, making her stumble. But when she turned, she was delighted by the expression of pure horror on Chat's face.

«M-Marinette?».

«Not quite», she snickered, swinging her own sword to catch him, but he was a fencer -after all- and he did nothing more than stepping aside.

«Give me that sword», he ordered, yet a soft but scared undertone leaked in his voice. «I don't want to hurt you».

She knew that if he had taken her sword, her akumization would be over. She couldn't risk to fight with it, so she just put it away on her back, in a scabbard she didn't even know she had, and smirked. It was time to use her powers, after all.

«I am not Marinette. I am Crimson Lady». She flicked her hand and there was a brief flash of red light. When it disappeared, she was holding something terribly close to a spear. «You didn't make a statement to help Adrien, now did you? I think it's time for you to pay...».

«A-Adrien?», he stammered. «W-What does this means?».

«Everyone has been so cruel with him», she hissed as she tried to impale him. «This has to end. And I will be the one to end this. Finally, he will discover love and care with me».

  


_«Kid, be careful, this is just as powerful as Black Chaos!». Plagg's voice echoed in his head. «She is Ladybug! Your Akumas are strong because_ you _are strong!»._

_«Plagg's right, Adrien! Your Akumas are similar yet opposite to your superhero personas!». It was Tikki this time. «Think! Black Chaos was dressed in black like Chat Noir, and his power was terribly similar to Cataclysm. Also, his suit covered even your face, making your identity unrecognisable, while as Chat you always wanted to reveal yourself!»._

_«Crimson Lady is red and black», noted Adrien. Oh God, he had understood pretty well. But the implications were really awful. «She just conjured a spear as if using Lucky Charm... and her suit leaves her face uncovered... Oh God, I'm fighting Ladybug, I'm fighting_ My Lady _!»._

_«Adrien, as long as you have both Miraculouses our telepathic connection bonds you to Marinette», said Tikki. «Marinette, not Crimson Lady. You have to help her!»._

_«But... what if she can't do it?», asked Adrien. «I... I can't fight her... I can't hurt her...»._

_«It's time to find out how much do you trust her, kid». Plagg's voice came annoyingly clear._

  


He brought his staff down on her spear, not happy to see that it did nothing more than bounce off. Quickly retreating, he took a deep breath before jumping a few feet away on a rooftop.

_«Marinette!»_ , he called with all his strength, hoping she could hear him.  _«Please, answer me!»_ .

He heard a gasp on the other "end", and took it as a good sign.  _«Marinette, you have to throw the Akuma away from you!»_ .

Silence. Then...

A sob.

_«I can't»_ , she sobbed while her body attacked him.  _«I can't. She's too strong... I can't...»_ .

_«You can!»_ , retorted Adrien, making a quick escape up a roof.  _«I know you can»_ .

_«How can you be so sure? I... I failed you... I failed everyone»_ .

_«How could you fail me? You could never fail me, Marinette»_ . Adrien was enraged with himself for letting her think like that. She had always been amazing, how could she just not see it?  _«At the cost of being accused of copying you words, you_ are _enough for_ me _! Nothing you can do will fail me. Nothing»_ .

_«I can't win against Hawk Moth»_ .

_«I trust you»_ , he said simply, ducking to avoid a javelin thrown at him. Crimson Lady's ability to create objects was starting to threaten him.

_«I can't do it»_ .

He knew what he had to say. He knew what effect it would have on her. He knew what was the price to pay, and it was a price of happiness, a happiness he probably wasn't ready to accept. He knew that there would be consequences. He knew that that single statement could break the girl's heart beyond reparations, if bad formulated. He knew  that it would change their lives, even if he didn't know if in a bad way or not. He knew so many things.

He knew he couldn't fight his Lady.

_«I... I love you, Mari»_ .

  


Hawk Moth had his eyes closed. He was communicating to Crimson Lady, telling her the weak spots of Chat's fighting style. Thanks to his keen eye and his Kwami's memory, he had built a perfect model of the feline superhero's battle movements. Of course he also had memorized every detail of Ladybug, but she wasn't there. And without her, having Crimson Lady beat Chat Noir would finally be possible. Unless, of course, he decided to use Cataclysm directly on the victim -Hawk Moth doubted it-, because that way even the powerful villain had no idea of what would have happened. His Kwami had said that many things could have happened when Cataclysm was used on a living sentient being, but he hadn't bothered to tell him the details.

However, just as he sent the command to attack, the connection to Crimson Lady brought him a message from the Akuma. Or rather, from the one he thought be the Akuma, but the message spoke books about the sender.

It wasn't a pleasant message altogether. Added to this there was the fact that even if he was evil, Gabriel Agreste was polite and hated rudeness. The message was nothing short of outrageous, with a stinging remark that made him scowl.

Just as he prepared to reply, the connection was severed. Cursing -even if always keeping his voice at a decent volume and avoiding being racist, sexist or discriminant in every possible way-, he dropped his transformation. He couldn't help a tiny smirk when Nooroo collapsed on the floor, since he hadn't bothered to take him in his hands.

«That unrespectful girl», he growled, storming out of the observatory, his Kwami still hissing curses about his behaviour behind him. Without looking, Gabriel gestured him to hide and continued his walk home. However, he couldn't get the outrageous message out of his mind.

_«You're growing old, Hawk Moth»_ , the message had said.  _«But fuck off just the same»_ .

  


Marinette fell on her knees on the roof, the Akuma trying to escape but absent-mindedly captured in Chat's fist as he run at her side.

«Mari are you...». He noticed he was still shirtless. «...o-okay?», he finished, almost squealing.

Completely not caring about her current state of clothing, nor about the intense pain and desperation he had felt just a few seconds before, she just grabbed his neck and kissed him. As Marinette and as Ladybug, for Adrien and Chat Noir.

She kissed _him_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What??? Does this chapter actually... end well??? How outrageous! It can't end well! Oh, way...  
> ... I wrote this.  
> Okay, then it's fantastic. Simply endearing. Lovely. Absolutely.  
> Judge by yourselves.  
> It's short because I know that in five minutes my parents will call me downstairs to help with the baby...


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A real mess. This is what they are.

Why did she do it was clear in her mind. She did it because she really felt it. Because she really did love him. It was why did she do it _now_ that was escaping her. Why, of all times, had she to kiss him _now_ was something she just couldn't wrap her mind around. Yes, nobody could see them -luckily-, but there were lives to be saved. There was Nino's life to be saved.

It was that thought, and only that thought, that eventually made her break the kiss. It had just been a kiss on the lips, it hadn't even heated up, and yet it meant so very much to her. Even if she knew it had been completely the wrong time to do it, she also fervently hoped that it meant something to him too.

And when he dragged her back she had the confirmations she was looking for. It _had_ meant a lot for him. Just like the first, their second kiss was beyond chastity, it was purity, and yet it was so very pleasant. Not physically pleasant -it was just skin contact, right?-, but it was pleasant, it was heavenly, knowing that he loved her in the way she loved him.

Earlier that day she had thought that she wasn't in the right mental status to have a relationship with Adrien... with Chat Noir... with _anyone_. But now she wasn't so sure of it any more. Because it felt so very good to just kiss him, warmed by his body against hers, letting their past flow over them and _not caring a bit about it_.

She pulled back again, trying to make him understand, but then he met his eyes. For once, they weren't filled with self-blame, sadness and hurt like they had been in the past few days. For once, they were lively, shining brightly in the light of the setting sun, even more sparkling that they had ever been.

She saw him smile and imagined she had to have that very same expression in her face and eyes. And she couldn't find herself surprised by it. Yes, she had a rough past and everything, but she wasn't alone. Yes, as soon as they had climbed down from the roof she would have to deal with Alya and Nino, and it wasn't a happy thought, but right now she was with Adrien, with Chat, with her partner and friend and crush, and he was happy she was there.

All what she had read in his diary came rushing back, trying to destroy, to shatter the moment, but it made her more determined, firmer in her intentions. He would never be alone again. If she could, in any way, make him feel better, if she could in any way help him, she would have done it. No matter what it had to be. She would go to Hell and back for him, and she knew he would do the same.

«Nino, he...». Her voice stopped him right before he could kiss her again. He wiped sweat off his forehead and called off the transformation. He was still new to de-transforming in front of her, but he had to hurry, to get Nino back. He knew he could do it: after all, other Akumas had done similar things. But he still didn't like the thought of his best friend... ehm-ehm, maybe former best friend, laying dead -beheaded- back on the ground, another former friend of his crying at his side.

He gave her one last peck on the lips, then he called on the transformation and purified the Akuma. Since the healing light could only be created by Lucky Charm, he hurried to oblige, shrugging imperceptibly when a simple red card with a big question mark on it appeared out of thin air. Without even bothering to search other objects he could use with it, he threw it in the sky at the shout of "Miraculous Ladybug!", activating the second part of Ladybug's special power.

As millions of small ladybugs -for a total of over three tonnes of insects- swarmed over them, Adrien dropped his second transformation, swiftly catching Tikki with one hand. In the other, he was still holding Plagg. He gently tucked them both in his shirt, where they found cookies and Camembert. In different pockets, of course.

«Eat fast, Plagg», he commanded. «I think we have to talk with Alya and Nino about what happened».

Even though his Kwami was an awfully quick eater, Adrien still took the time to kiss Marinette once more. There was nothing wrong with in it, after all, and he really enjoyed her presence. He hugged her tighter and leant in for the fifth kiss of the day, but just as his lips ghosted over hers, a tiny annoying pestering annoying voice chimed in.

«I'm ready, if you can stop this, we can go». Plagg. Of course. «You know, I have better things to do than...».

He stopped abruptly as a small pink Kwami called Tikki dived in his pocket, crashing into him and covering his mouth with a tiny hand. Adrien was still going to pull back, but then he felt two slender arms locking behind his neck, and every thought of leaving left him. He brought his own hands up to her hair, happy that he didn't even have to uncomb her pigtails because she still wasn't wearing them, returning to lean in as soon as he got the hint. That was immediately.

However, they weren't the only ones kissing. Not just in the whole city, not just in a sixty meters diameter. They were kissing, this time just a tiny bit more passionately, on the roof of a house. But the award for the strangest place where to kiss didn't go to them. Alya and Nino weren't exactly kissing, just hugging _very_ tightly, and even if they had been kissing they wouldn't have won the award just the same.

The award went to the two kissing inside a pocket of Adrien's shirt, two Kwamis whose names were Tikki and Plagg.

  


«You okay?», asked Chat, after having lent his shirt -or rather Adrien's shirt- to Marinette and having transformed back into superpowered hero to climb down from the roof. Not Alya nor Nino answered immediately. Instead, they opted to just nod tiredly.

«Do you... want to talk?», he asked again. «I... I think maybe we should...».

«No», said Nino. «No, we... we will head home now». Alya nodded her agreement and the two of them scrambled on their feet. Without a word or a farewell, they took off, going in the exact opposite direction as Marinette's house.

His gaze followed them for a long time before he heard a quiet sob at his side. Turning, he saw that Marinette wasn't done crying, she was just doing it more subtly and silently. He swept her up in bridal style and jumped over the nearest rooftop, heading for her house. «Let's get you home, now».

Only when they reached her bedroom she stopped crying. And only because she was instantly enveloped in the warmest hug she had ever experienced. Adrien had dropped his transformation as soon as they were out of sight and had snaked his arms around her to keep her from running away from him like he'd done with her. He had learnt from his mistakes.

«Don't cry, Mari», he cradled her gently, as if he feared she might have broken in his arms. «You are not at fault».

«I became an Akuma...», she sobbed in his chest trying to shrink as much as she could, shrink away from the world. «I did... I, _Ladybug_ , became... I...».

She was cut off as he gently laid her on the bed, continuing to hug her tightly. It was after dusk, and he knew she would have fallen asleep soon. Yet, this did not stop him from replying.

«I think you became an Akuma for the sweetest reason _ever_ », he whispered softly, burying his nose in her hair. «I even feel a bit jealous».

Even if it wasn't the right time for jokes, she actually giggled. He, Adrien Agreste, envying her, Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Then the thought shifted. He, Chat Noir, envying her, Ladybug.

And shifted again. _Is Chat Noir a pile of shit? I think he is_.

There was still something they had to talk about.

«Adrien?».

«Why did you subscribed to that blog?».

«Which blog?».

«You know perfectly well which one». From crying to scolding. Well, it was already something.

«I guess I just found it... interesting».

«Adrien, look at me, because my next words are _deadly_ serious», she ordered, and he obliged, almost kissing her in the movement because of their closeness. «If you will ever have even just a look at something written by that jerk, I swear one of you two will die. And I'm not speaking about you».

He smiled. She was so cute. No, not just cute: she was adorable. He had always thought that Marinette was a girl who could make many heads turn, but as head over heels he was for Ladybug that he didn't pay _that_ kind of attention to her. Oh God, he had been so stupid. But maybe there was a way out of it.

«Mari?», he murmured as he looked into those blue eyes that could go from sad to angry to protective to determined in a matter of seconds, those blue eyes he had been in love all along without even knowing to who they truly belonged.

«Yes?».

«Your eyes are so beautiful I think I could drown in them. I surely get lost», he said without thinking, and probably it was better he wasn't thinking, otherwise he would have stopped as soon as he would have seen Marinette's face going from her usual paleness to a bright shade of red. «Your hair is like the flight of ravens, who grazes whatever is in their path with feather light touches. Your skin is perfect in its imperfection. Your freckles are one of the cutest thing I'd ever seen in my life, and I can assure you all the others belongs to you, too, and you are the most gorgeous part of my life, the most heavenly angel who had come to bring light to me and my dark path».

Now she was sure someone could have cooked roast on her cheeks.

«Your touch burns like fire on my skin, I just _crave_ your vicinity, I can't let go of you because I'm too addicted to you now. I can't resist you», he continued, his face still inches apart from hers, his eyes lost in contemplation of her, an adoring light in them. «Your lips are so soft that I can't stop thinking about them... about you... not even now that I'm so close... because I want to be closer. You tasted so sweet and I'm not ready to let go of you, not yet. Not before I can savour that wonder again».

And with those words, that had made her blush to the point of being able to incinerate anything that would come in contact with her cheeks, he leant in for the last six centimetres and kissed her passionately, his right hand leaving her back to gently cup her cheek. He had said the truth, he wasn't ready to let her go yet, and he wasn't going to release her before being ready.

Silently hovering in the middle of the room, Tikki elbowed her black companion and snickered. «You still have a long way to go before matching Adrien, you know?».

  


«Oh, come on, pick up». When no one was nearby, Chloe's words while waiting for a call were identical to everyone else's. It was such a pity no one ever heard Chloe speak normally, because maybe that way someone could even start to like her. «Come on...».

_"Si?"_ . Finally a voice responded her hopes. Caught in mid-sentence, Chloe first removed any sign of normality from her voice and returned to her arrogant self, and then replied.

« _Ciao_ , Leonard, _sono Chloe_ , I need a favour».

_"It's Leonardo, Chloe, but nevermind. What kind of favour?"_ .

«I want your opinion on a video I've just sent you». She grinned as she spoke. A video. _The_ video. The video of Marinette's akumization.

_"Uhm... merda!"_ . He interrupted for a moment to spit a row of curses in Italian before speaking to her again.  _"When this happened? He was in Napoli just four days ago!"_ .

«Who are you referring to?», smirked Chloe, even if she already knew the answer. She just had to press on to make sure her goal could be reached soon.

_"Scorpione"_ .

«Uhm, isn't it the name of a notorious criminal who is active in Italy?».

_"It is. When did this happened? It can't be possible, Scorpione has no interest in changing nation. But here people are speaking in French, so it can't be Italy... how did you get this?"_

«It's not important. Fortunately, Ladybug saved the day and everything calmed down. But since Scorpione isn't an Akuma, I guess he's still around». Time to set her plan into motion. «I'd like you to ask your friend into television to ask a Paris colleague of his to broadcast this. It's important for people to know about an infamous... thief? Murderer?... who had just settled in their city».

_"It will have to wait a few days, I can't make my friend_ order _someone else to broadcast. They are the ones who talk, not the ones who decide. What they're told to say, they say"_ .

«I'm sure you will find a way», she nonchalantly waved his protests aside. «It's important for everyone».

_"I'll try. I'm gonna call him immediately"_ .

Chloe smiled. In addition to the normal pleasure of making other do as she said, there was also the satisfaction of finally crushing her opposition, Marinette, the only one who would stand against her and the only one between her and Adrien.

It didn't come to her mind that maybe the real Scorpione wouldn't have liked to be copied and that by doing so she could have just put Marinette's, hers and many other's lives in danger. And even if the thought had grazed the corner of her mind, she wouldn't have paid much attention to it.

  


On the other line of the phone, Chloe's friend was playing and replaying the video non-stop, scratching his chin. He was really different from his blonde friend: tall, brown haired and eyed, their main difference his mild character. He almost never shouted, was always polite, treated everyone with kindness and could even be sweet.

All this did not stop him from murmuring well-chosen curses in his native language. Every time, he stopped the recording at Crimson Lady's first appearance, where he could see perfectly well her armour and sword.

« _Sembra ci sia veramente una mia copia_ », he grumbled softly. Then, with a sigh, he adjusted his brass diadem. It was a nervous habit for him, born by the necessity to prove himself it was still there, it hadn't disappeared in the eight seconds since he had last touched it.

He dived his hand in his pocket and drew a small creature with a stinger, small pincers instead of hands and scales all over the tiny body. «Viooex, _dobbiamo andare a Parigi_ ».

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can imagine, Viooex is a Kwami. Leonardo just said "It seems there really is a copy of me" and then "Viooex, we must go to Paris".  
> Viooex name is with two "o" because, if you think about it, every other Kwami has two equal letters like that. Ti **kk** i, Pla **gg** , Wey **zz** , N **oo** r **oo**... The list is long.  
>  I don't think Scorpione will make his appearance soon. He's not the main villain, after all.  
> That's why I didn't -and I won't- tag an OriginalCharacter for this work.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, My Lady.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda an epilogue.

Marinette and Adrien were fast asleep when the Dupain-Chengs returned home. They had been in various offices, had driven across all Paris, and finally, after twelve hours of paper work, they were home.

They immediately noticed that something was wrong. Or rather, that something was unusual. First, Marinette's shirt still abandoned in the kitchen. Second, there was a new dessert in the fridge, and they didn't bake it. Third, Adrien and Marinette were sleeping together, she still in his shirt, in her bed, that screamed "something happened!".

Being the loving parents they were, they jumped to the most obvious conclusion. Their daughter had finally confessed her love for him to the model, and he had responded. So they didn't wake them up, and hurried to have a little chat in their room.

«This could be problematic», said Sabine. «If we are about to adopt Adrien, they can't have a relationship, as it would be considered incest».

«True, but after all the papers we've seen, I think we could handle something more», mumbled Tom, scratching his head. «And it would solve the problem just the same».

«You are not thinking...».

«I am».

«They are not even eighteen!».

«I don't want to ruin my daughter's relationship with the boy she likes», replied Tom. «If it works, why not do it?».

«Oh, come on, do you really think this could help?».

«Yes».

«How?».

«Well, Adrien Agreste has to respond to his father's orders, but...». He smirked. «Adrien Dupain-Cheng doesn't».

«He would still be sixteen, and so his father...».

«I think we can arrange with him something to transfer his father's responsibility onto us», he shushed her. «After all, Marinette always dreamed of marrying him, right?».

«We don't even know if he would accept the adoption».

«It seems he did, doesn't it?».

The two of them continued to talk for a while longer, but then the exhaustion for the day took them and everything disappeared into sleep.

  


Alya and Nino sat in silence, for the umpteenth time, on her bed, in silence. Marinette had attacked them. Not just that, she had _beheaded_ Nino without a second thought. She had fought for a friend, against her best friends. She had killed one of them.

Alya hadn't let go of him yet. She had been so scared, so horrified and so infinitely _sure_ that her heart had to have shattered into a billion pieces. She had never felt deep feeling for the DJ, but the moment he had died, she had recalled all the time she had spent with him, all the ways he could make her laugh, scowl or deadpan. Every single second of Nino's time with her had come back to her in a wave, to remind her who was the person who had just died.

When Gabriel Agreste had died, she felt sorry for him, she felt incredibly sorry even if she had never met him really. When Nino had died, she couldn't feel sorry. She felt shattered, part of her had gone missing, and she had painfully been aware of that.

All she could do, now, was to softly keep his fingers intertwined with hers. But a thought, a dangerous thought, was already forming in her mind, demanding attention – undivided attention. She was sure a similar thought had to be forming in Nino's mind, too. She was certain of that. The thought was powerful, and in a bad way. She would have to think about it, sooner or later.

_This is all their fault_ .

  


Gabriel Agreste was sternly looking at his Kwami. At his  _master_ . After more than a year, he was finally having that conversation.

«You told me you want Ladybug's and Chat Noir's Miraculouses because you would use their combined magic to break the Butterfly Miraculous and so be free», he said, a hint of threat in his voice. «For how long have you been trying?».

«A while», he replied, bored. «But what does this matter to you?».

«I does, it really does», the man said, turning to fully face the Kwami. «You've hurt Adrien. And what's worse, you've hurt him via me».

«You never cared this much about him».

«I may have been severe, but I _am_ his father», retorted Mr Agreste, scowling. «And you've hurt my son. I won't let you continue to hurt him. Just like you knew I wanted to akumized Miss Dupain-Cheng to make her help Adrien, I know _you_ wanted to akumized her to make his situation even worse, because _you are holding a grudge against him for having beaten you!_ ».

«Observant, uh?», scoffed the Kwami. «And so?».

«And so, from now on, I will decide the akumized victims», Hawk Moth said. «In exchange for that... you'll get whatever food restores your energy».

Nooroo shot into attention. The greatest flaw of his plan of commanding Gabriel had been that the human had never given him anything to restore his energy if not rest. That made the distances between Akumas far larger than he would have liked them to be. «And what would this deal be, by the way?».

«I command».

«No».

«I want their Miraculouses, too», said Hawk Moth, waving him aside. «And I'm sure our will will be stronger if it's not split into two clashing forces, am I right? It's a win-win for you and me alike».

«The simple fact you are proposing this makes me dislike it».

«If you really want freedom, then you should be able to accept my terms».

The Kwami thought hard about it for a second. He wanted freedom really bad... and after all, even if Gabriel betrayed him, his life would end in a matter of decades. His supervillain career far sooner than that.

«This means you won't akumized Adrien any more, right?», he asked. His grudge against the boy had faded, becoming just an occasional stinging thought. Why worry about a mortal, after all?

«Not him, nor Miss Dupain-Cheng», nodded Mr Agreste.

Nooroo was surprised, for once. «Why her too?».

«I...». Gabriel looked embarrassed, sad and hurt for a second before getting back to severe. «Adrien's happy with her. I guess he likes her. I know she likes him. He'll be happier with her rather than here with me. She can make him happy, and for now it's what I care about».

Nooroo scoffed. «What about your conquering the world?».

«I never said I wanted to kill or hurt everyone», remarked the man. «I just want... the Miraculouses».

  


As they woke up, Marinette and Adrien both realized that they hadn't bothered to move from the position they were in before falling asleep. That meant that they were still kissing, even if involuntarily. Tikki and Plagg were sound asleep on a pillow, exhausted after having played pillow war until late. Actually, they played it for just a couple of minutes before the pillows began getting too heavy.

As they shot into awareness, they both tried to leap out of the bed, that only made them both crash unceremoniously on the floor, a groaning mess of legs and arms.

«A-Adrien?».

«M-Mari?».

Of course, the Kwamis chose that moment to wake up, with funnily a very similar reaction. As the two tiny Gods fell from the bed into the already claimed floor, their voices were heard clearly in two "Tikki!" and "Plagg!".

Slowly, the memories came back, bringing both humans to blush seriously. Adrien got to his feet first and helped her up.

Then, almost with an afterthought, he dived in his shirt's pocket -said shirt still worn by Marinette- and took out two red earrings.

«Welcome back, My Lady».

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning a serie. This work has already lost much of his angst. The sequel -which I don't know when I'll write- will pick up that again.  
> So, this ends well. The next...  
> We'll see.  
> However, I enjoyed writing this. Yep, I did.


End file.
